When did you know you were gay

Doh!

I am 100% gay and what you describe turns me off totally. Might appeal to some sex seekers. Gay is more than sex. Unless your existence is sex driven.

Add that to evidence for forensics.

 

While it is true that gay men like having sex with other men, it is not true that all gay men like have to sex with random men in bathhouses.

(I am not judging these establishments or the men who visit them but it isn't for everyone)

 

cause i always liked guys duh

 

when I've been to bathhouses and saunas, I was immensely turned on. But some guys think they're gross, and couldn't get turned on no matter what. I think that if you go to a bathhouse and don't get excited (OMG, all the "eye candy!"), that may just be an indication that you don't like bathhouses. Rather, I think that Blues hit the nail on the head.

 

I'm going to agree with everyone else that it's not indicative one way or the other on your sexuality. Now, if you had been immensely turned on, that would have probably meant quite a lot, but "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence".

I periodically get massages, but always by women, until I decided both that someone stronger was what my back could use, but also curious to have a guy touch me like that. I got nothing from it. But it was also a pretty bad massage and I just wasn't attracted to the guy.

Now the next time I got a massage from a guy...oh boy.

 

Oh wow..well, if it's all that too then you sound pretty straight.

 

yeah, seems like everything indicates straightness and nothing points to gayness. so remind me, why did you even have to ask? :confused2:

 

11, accepted at 13, out at 14. have a great day!

 

When I was 22 or 23. Was incredibly confused, and scared the first time I had sex with a man. But I enjoyed it. I wanted it. I've had a few women, but many more men... wish I had more. The idea of sex with a women does not appeal to me, never really has, it was just something I was suppose to do. I started going bald when I was 19, I don't think it has anything to do with your sexual preference. Wanting domineering women doesn't mean you are gay.

 

Yep...you sound straight. In everything you list, I am the total opposite. Of course, I have had girlfriends that I liked and I like (love) my wife but just not in the way a straight husband/boyfriend should.

Good for you for exploring and learning about yourself.

 

Does the thought I being gay scare you, would you feel that your life is going to end or end up bad if you were. Have you ever met a man that has got your interest even if its not sexually. Think about that for a minute.

I was going to ask, you should visit a sauna, but you got to that.

After reading the thread then I would suggest you are not gay but have anxiety issues about being around woman.

I should have known something was wrong when I was about 15 and had a crush on a high school teacher, I wasn't sure what it was at the the time but I always remembered it, then at 25 I started chatting to another guy I had met and then felt something there; well they had a nice body but well something down below moved without my help or thinking about it.

It wasn't until I was 34 when I was sitting chatting to 3 friends and their 2 wives that I seriously started to think, well I was attracted to a guy without a wife then i remembered wanting to talk to one of the husbands, then I remember thinking about the other guy who I had never met and thought hang on, I have been thinking about chatting to the 3 men, but didn't even think about chatting to the wives, and the fact that I then realized I couldn't see myself marrying one, I thought that I was gay.

Part of it for me was finding the right guy but I really think in your case it is finding the right girl.

 

Blues -

I think you need to see a therapist, because I question your being gay at all. The fact that the baths or porn were not doing anything for you, doesn't surprise me at all. I went to the baths once after I came out. I thought I was in the 7th ring of Hell. As far as porn is concerned, it can be both a turn off and a turn on depending on the type of play and the types playing, but it's not my preferred outlet. I find it a bit too dehumanizing; rather like watching the nature special. However, being with a man seems to cause you great consternation.

As far as I can recall, I believe I was gay when I had my first sexual encounters with an older boy in the pool's locker room at my parents' club. I enthusiastically responded, and though I was in my early teens I knew I liked it. Maybe from what I read it was my latency period, but it felt much more than that. It did give me an excuse for plausible deniability, because I knew it was "wrong". Despite having an attraction to girls, maybe it was societal pressure, I didn't want them to do to me what Danny was doing to me behind the shower curtain. I rationalized, denied , and suppressed, but ultimately as I look back I knew.

 

A Dream when i was about 8 years old about other boys in school was the first time I knew I was gay, I didn't even have a word for it until I learnt it later on, but I must have always been gay, I'm a gold star gay also never dated or even pretended to be straight other then a few words in school

 

You're not alone on this one Blues, I myself am questionning my sexuality and mainly due to my shyness/lack of confidence in approaching women in an intimate way (although I fantasize about it). People tend to question their sexuality and conclude their answer by deduction, "oh its not working out with girls, I lack the confidence hence I must be a homosexual".

At least that's how it all started off for me, some days I feel the confidence and the doubts dissapear but they immediately return on some days where I'm not in a good mood or stressed out.

 

At 32. I have had numerous crushes and attraction to men, but no sexual desires, really. I had to force myself. I thought I just had libidos problems. I still don't understand entirely. I'm not looking to change my life, but I enjoy knowing and understanding for the same of it. I'm married to a female now, my soul mate, and want nothing more. I don't think about feeling attracted to anyone else, but its a side of myself I simply wish to understand, realize, and acknowledge better.

---------- Post added 8th Mar 2015 at 02:19 PM ----------

Me, too. I was blindsided, really. Shocked and so happy that I finally felt "normal" with someone and to have it be with a female was okay. Surprising, but wonderful. I did love the men I was with, so maybe I'm a bit bisexual....? I just have a lot of difficulty with sex with men. I didn't even desire it, and just couldn't imagine it al ll now, nor do I want to.