I just read through the post about if you always knew you were gay, but I think how did you know you were gay is a better question. Are there some kind of signs as a kid or whatever the case might be? I'm questioning my sexuality. But as I type this I question it less because I don't understand how someone could be gay. Is that a sign that I'm not gay? How I don't offend anyone.
I have only recently come out at 44 and didn't know until 5 years ago and even then i only accepted it 2 years ago. We are brought up to be straight so it is hard to see the signs,now | have accepted being gay I can now see there were signs but I don't think what happens in past is not worth looking back at as it makes you crazy second guessing how you felt in the past. What matters is how you feel now. I think as you struggle with your sexuality you question everything but in the end I started listening to what my body told me not the questions clouding my mind. Not sure if that makes sense i allowed myself to feel attracted to who ever my body wanted with out letting my mind question it. It was terrifying at first and I beat myself up for being attracted to the same sex but now i have accepted it it feels wonderful. Who ever you are gay or straight it doesn't matter but you need to accept it. Not sure if that helps. There is no rush in making a decision.
it's really not rocket science. you see someone you like, you think about them alot, you get excited when you see them. if you are a guy, you may have an erection thinking of them or thinking of doing things sexually with them. you would like to date them or be with them sexually. you would like to be in a relationship with them. you light up inside and out when you see them....ohhh and they just so happen to be a guy and your'e a guy. ok, your're gay or have same sex attraction. case closed. people who question their sexuality already know the answer. whether you want to deal with the answer or not is a whole nother story. i am a male. the thought of two women getting it on, does absolutley nothing for me. i do not need to see it, i do not need to participate in it. im not excited about it. guess what, im not into that. i dont have to study it further or question my sexuality regarding it. that just doesn't work for me. stop trying to label. if you see a guy and you like him, then you do not have to assign a "label" to it. you just like that particular guy. does that mean you're gay? bi? straight? who knows. who cares. focus on your feelings and the person you're into and let someone else worry about the labels.
I agree that focusing on labels isn't really the best thing. Why? Because labels mean different things to different people. And sometimes what we think of when we hear a word isn't really accurate, or it's not what was intended. Example - when I was in my teens and my twenties, the word "gay", in my mind, carried a lot of connotations that made me uncomfortable and really terrified. I imagined ultra-skinny, shallow, sex-crazed party guys who had partner after partner, did lots of drugs and alcohol, had a terribly unstable and empty life and would absolutely never, ever, accept a chunky, quiet, conservative introvert like myself. Talk about missing the point! Even as I started gradually accepting myself, I cringed for years at the word "gay" because the label itself was so charged for me, even though what I was feeling was really all that being "gay" meant. What do you feel? Who do you dream or fantasize about? Who are you attracted to, and who gives you a strong, overwhelming emotional reaction? If you close your eyes and think about a wonderful, romantic evening with a wonderful person, is the person male or female? (Or does it change?) For me, once I really thought about all that, it was pretty clear that the only people I ever truly imagined myself with in an emotional, romantic, love relationship, were guys. And eventually I realized that's really all "gay" is, despite all my misconceptions years ago. So you know when you think realistically about who attracts you AND you lose all the inaccurate prejudices you have about what being gay might really mean. I can tell you that I'm still a chunky, quiet (sometimes), conservative introvert, as is my boyfriend, and chances are pretty good you could see us together and the only thing that would really tell you we were gay is the way we look at each other, hold each other's hands, and very clearly love each other. Because really, if that's what you want and how you see yourself being happy, that's the only sign you need.
One thing I have learned about gays is that we are as diverse as straights, so don't worry about being different. As for being gay, I spent a lifetime denying it, now I wish hadn't.
Constant fascination with the male body, desire to see male genitalia and great excitement about seeing nude men and boys. A desire for closeness with boys growing up that was more like playing house than football. Infatuations with numerous male sex symbols in popular culture. Also loved broadway musicals and Barbra Streisand. ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2015 at 06:31 PM ---------- I also liked Barbie dolls (and Ken although he had no genitalia, sadly) and in particular a soft pink cocktail dress that Barbie wore sometime around 1966.
