All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgbtq?

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

50% when I wasn't out, 60% when I came out. It's all good though, things are working out for the better gradually.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

1%...I'm still not out to my dad, and my brother's an asshole...

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

It's not much more complicated for me because I have no social life and I'm closeted. It does make some of my mental health issues worse, so I chose 50%.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

I like girls and boys? Not complicated at all. I just date different people. I wish I could get surgery and hormone therapy and transition? Very complicated, and very expensive.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

Floating around the 75-100% range. (ETA: I guess I find it kinda hard to put it in a percentage as well; I'll use the highest option as a way to say it is a great deal more so.)

It's done nothing but complicate things:

- I've isolated myself more and become even more of a loner; also feel more... 'alone'(which wasn't the case before)

- My attraction/feelings have done nothing but torture/pester me and I have nobody offline to confide in about them(they're either ignorant homophobes or ignorant lgbt folk)

- Although I mostly like being non-binary, I have my moments where I really dislike my body for it

^ And those are only a few of the problems.

If not for this forum where I try to/can be a bit more open about my feelings, thoughts, etc., I'd probably need to be thrown in the wacky shack.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

The original damage set off by being closeted was pretty significant, but I would now say that it has made my life and personality more complex, rather than complicated.

Also, I find it hard to answer the poll; it's odd to quantify something that feels to me unmeasurable.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

It definitely makes my life way more complicated, first of all a name change which i have to get used to but also a huge personality change since i'm out to some persons.
And i have a constant battle inside myself about how far i want to go at times.
Some days i feel more like being totally girly but other days i'm fine with how i am now..

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

0-25%. So far, the only complicated part has been telling my mother.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

0-25% I don't feel like it adds too much complication, but it definitely adds some. Coming out is something I really don't want to deal with, but I expect my family to be accepting. Right now, I'm mostly afraid that if my coworkers find out, I could lose my job, which means I would lose my apartment, since I live where I work. I'm in the country on a work visa too, so I may also lose my visa and be kicked out of the country. Now that I typed that out, it seems like it complicates my life more than 25%. Haha.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

50-75%

For those people who I'm closest to, particularly my friends who accept me, it hasn't changed much, although it was hard for me to come out to them due to my lack of confidence and general fear of rejection. It's been way harder for my family, and that's not even counting my extended family yet. Particularly my psychotic religious nutjob uncles (seriously thinking I might have to get a restraining order on one of them in particular.) Then there's society being a general turd burglar to us transfolk ... and all the forms I'm gonna need changed, and all the difficulty of successful social transition, the 'to hormone or not to hormone' question, which is more like, I wanna find a way to do it without injections because even at the age of 21 I still freak out and go into panic mode when sharp pointy needles penetrate my skin. In a lot of ways my life got more complicated. I guess this is part of what they call building character?

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

I guess for now it's not complicated at all, but in the future it will be.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

I put 0-25%... I don't think it really complicateds it too much. In fact, it has helped at times.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

I don't think you can quantify it, but the answer is a lot.
Do I come right out to that new person and tell them I'm gay? Am I comfortable holding my boyfriend's hand here? Not to mention not having to come out to friends/family in the past...

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

My life would be just the same, no matter what "orientation" I was.

What makes you think it's any better being the opposite?
I have worked and known many "straight" people who have it a hell of a lot worse than I do.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

Sexuality, not so much.

Wanting to transition, yeah, that one is a tad more complicated. You're talking needing to break off contact from family, for the sake of sanity, moving someplace totally new, undergoing therapy, having to keep this secret about your birth, training your voice, adopting a posture, new outfits, enduring that "middle" period where you're not quite where you were but not quite where you want to be on hormones, and, to top it all off, you always run the risk of being dismissed as some freak, pervert, or "not a real woman".

And then there's the rest of life.

It is not a fun ride ahead, nor is it cheap. It surpasses 'complicated', actually, entering into 'fucking horrible' territory, when I've laid out the whole process before me.

One day at a time, though.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

I know this question was more a general thing probably, but figured I'd give you an answer anyways.

It doesn't take some super math to do. You cut this and all the chaos it has caused out, personally, and my life/sanity would be going a lot smoother. I'd even make you a safe bet that I would be (a lot) happier at this point. Because, outside of this, I actually am doing relatively well.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

Best answer so far...

I'd have one, single malt, on the rocks, please.

 

Re: All things considered , how much MORE COMPLICATED is your life because you're lgb

The main area for me is getting a partner, having ruled out 50% of the population based on the fact they're woman, switching to the other 50% only 3% of them are gay or bi, so it fairly rules out my options. Firstly only 4% of the population is within my age range, then there's the fact I'm disabled (it's not even that bad, I just can't feel half of one leg) and that rules 50% of people who just wouldn't date a disabled person (regardless of other ability, once you have the disabled label you're fucked). Lastly there's the fact I want to get into politics, so that rules out the 50% who don't vote and/or hate politicians and another 30% who absolutely hate and detest the Conservatives (even though Mrs Thatcher ruled 25 years ago, many people my age hate the tories because of her).

So after starting with 50% of the population, I am left with 0.009% who statistically are willing to have a relationship with me, which in my town equals 6 people. I put 25-50% more complicated but after doing that math makes me realise how shit things are, yeah, being gay really fucks things up for you.