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What's a Guy to Do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sshady, Mar 31, 2015.

  1. sshady

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    Okay, I’m sitting here writing this at 2:00AM. I’m pretty much losing sleep over the fact that I’m gay. Just seeing those three little letters on my computer screen is causing me discomfort. I’m hoping that I can at least get some support or ideas on this site. I’m still "in the closet," and as far as I’m concerned, it's going to stay that way. I don't want to be gay. If it comes down to it, I will be alone for the rest of my life to keep from being with a guy. Is it wrong that I think like this? My family cannot find out my secret. My dad is a pastor, so you know how that would go over. I just keep thinking, "why me?" The way I feel right now, is that I’m going to have to tell someone about it or I’m going to explode. I hope that my writing this will relieve some of the pressure. My family is beginning to wonder why I’m not interested in dating. And I’m running out of excuses to tell them. I’m at my wits end.
    Sorry for being so "messy" with my thoughts here. I hope there is someone out there that I can talk to about this. Thanks for reading.

    AmericanBoy – 16 years old.
     
  2. headie2infinity

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    I think you really need to be honest with yourself about your feelings. I know you feel very conflicted right now but I hope this site can help you sort out some things in your life. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel and it happens to a lot of people but I think you need to do some self reflection. Maybe try asking yourself, what will really make me happy in life. Regardless of what that answer, it is your choice, and not your family's or friend's. I felt a similar feeling as you did but one day i woke up and said to myself, this is who I am and I am not ashamed and I deserve to be happy regardless of what that might be.
     
  3. doinitagain

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    Hi sshady
    Many people here have been, and are, in your position. Take your time and enjoy your time here. There is nothing wrong with you! You don't need to tell anyone 'your secret' until your are ready, and that won't be until you can can be comfortable with who you are. We all had the why me question, believe me!! If other people will not be accepting of who you truly are, it's their problem not yours.
    You are already ahead of the game in my opinion. You are exploring who you are.
     
    #3 doinitagain, Mar 31, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2015
  4. kindy14

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    Well, I don't know your denomination, I know my pastor would probably be very accepting if one of his sons turned out to be gay. So, I wouldn't know in your case, but you cant always judge a book by its cover.

    But, as the previous posters have said, take your time, be ready, and explore who you are.
     
  5. Runner5

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    Since you posted this I'm assuming you have a secure source of internet, or at least know how to delete your history. What helped me was watching different youtube videos. The best channel on there in my opinion is Mark E Miller.

    The more you learn to accept it, the more you'll realize that really nothing has changed. You don't have to act any different then you do now. One day you won't have to ive under your parents roof and it won't matter.
     
  6. TheAnon32

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    i agree with runner by watching Mark E Miller and also check out Kaelyn & Lucy. They helped me allot in finding out you could have a great, average life and be gay. I would also recommend if you feel comfortable enough to confide in a close friend or family member who you are sure will accept you and keep your secret. As much as these forums help it also helps to talk with someone face to face that is there to listen and support you.
     
  7. pgc317

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    I LITERALLY just finished watching Mark's latest video! That is some great advice you've got there. Mark has helped me immeasurably as far as learning to cope with my sexuality.

    I, like you said, got to a point where I felt like I was going to explode. I had been confrontational the entire day and it was one of those moments where you realize that something isn't right and it needs to be fixed. After being stressed out the entire day, I got in the shower and just sobbed. Probably about half an hour or so. Then I got out, picked up my phone, and told one of my best friends that I'm gay. It was instant relief (not the weight off your shoulders type like some experience, but the feeling you get when you just vent all of your feelings).

    We are ALL here for you. You are NOT alone so long as this forum is up and running. I'm close to you in age, so I can relate as to how you feel as far as the normal stresses of the teenage years combined with a sexuality crisis. We are here for you 110%. Don't think you have to be alone your whole life to avoid being with a guy. It pains me to hear people say that. We all deserve love and compassion regardless of sexuality.
     
  8. TheAnon32

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    im here for you as well. I am going through the exact feelings and I am your age as well. Post on this forum if you wanna talk.
     
  9. dmarc92

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    aw. i wish i could give you a hug. i know its easy to say that you have evryone on this site to help but its not always enough. Some times you need a friend that you can hold when you need it. You'll get through this though. Just dont ever deny who you are. Youre fine the way you are.
     
  10. Deadsouls

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    If there is one thing you need to do now is go to the restroom, look in the mirror and ponder everything in your head. You are who you are, do not be fake to yourself. Do not be this person inside you that you are not. Do not be in denial of your homosexuality, do not let the thoughts of someone close to you dictate your own being and mental health. Not everyone is going to accept you with hugs and flying colors when you come out and you need to realize this. My parents were in shock when I came out at 15, my dad walked down the stairs and he was trying to become a pastor at the time. However, 4 years now and a lot has changed. My parents are supportive of my homosexuality and try to give me as much love as possible. My dad still has a few problems but he is letting shit go. My mother has always been supportive of me and always gives me the best advice on guys.
     
  11. WhiteShadows

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    I'm sorry to hear that you feel burdened and that you feel like you have to hide.

    It gets better, trust me. There's nothing wrong with you, you're a normal 16 year old kid and you've got a heck of a lot to do in this world. If you can tell someone, maybe a trusted friend, or someone at an LGBT support group, then I think it would help you feel a bit less bottled up.

    Hang in there :slight_smile: