I was so certain today was the day I was gonna come out to my parents. I was driving home from class and I had it in my head what I was going to say and I was so certain of myself. Then when I get home, I choke. Can someone give me some encouraging words to help me out of the closet (aka my living hell)?:tears:
Don't be too hard on yourself. It takes a few attempts to take the leap. I think I finally told my mom on my 5th attempt. I know that let down feeling when you "choke". Just keep getting yourself mentally prepared. One time opportunity and courage will meet.
I think the best way to start it is. "Hey, can we talk about something." I think that will make you commit without backing out but is casual enough to start a conversation.
I agree with her above. What I ended up doing was putting myself in a position where I just couldn't back out. I took my mom out for a walk, and she knows that walks always mean that I have something important to say. I basically told her that I had something to tell her, but I was scared, and when she started asking me questions, I eventually just spat it out. I choked multiple times before this point in coming out, but I finally did it.
I mean I feel like my biggest fault is that I want to come out to my family before my friends so there's a 0 percent chance they can hear it from anyone other than me. The past few years have been particularly bad for me. Wish me luck.
Wish you all the luck in the world. It took me 5 years to tell my parents but understand the disheartening. I told my parents first for the same reason. I grew up in a small town and news travels fast. It might have been easier to tell a close friend first. I agree with the comments above when coming out to parents. I try not to make it a big deal with friends and just slip it in to the conversation. Anyways when I came out to my parents I told my mom first. I knew she would be accepting. I came home late (I live out of town) and it was just her up and we chatted about nothing for a bit. Then when she said she was going to go to bed I told her "Before you go I want to talk to you about something". She usually assumes the worst so was worried. It took what seemed like an eternity but finally managed to stutter out that "I'm gay". By the time I finally said it I think she was relieved that was all it was. I definitely would recommend just saying it up front and not beating around the bush so to say. I also found it easier to tell one parent at a time. That was my two cents on the matter. Another option is just to write it out. Some people might say it's impersonal but I find it just gets the job done. The person receiving the message then has time to form there response. Make sure you make the note personal and clear that you open to talking to them about it. Again good luck.
That might have been the best advice on coming out I ever got. Thanks a ton. I'm gonna apply that technique and I feel confident. I'll have to update in a week or so and see where I am (*hug*)
I would come out to a close friend first. It takes the load off your shoulders somewhat and helps to prepare you to get the rest off. I would then tell a few closer friends and then my siblings if they do not tattle to your parents. Then, I would take the leap of faith and tell my parents, if they don't accept it at your age then it is not worth your time to stress over because that works for some parents. My parents didn't accept it at first because they didn't know where this came from.
You are 25 years old. If they haven't figured you out by now, I would be pretty surprised. If you don't know how to start the conversation, buy yourself a rainbow bracelet, start wearing it, and let them start the conversation if they want to.
Once I decided to tell my parents, it took me about 4 months to actually do it. I did not plan when the time would be. I just woke up one day and it was in my head that I needed to make the call to them. I called them, they were really unfazed (they both expressed knowing already) and then on we went.
I found it easier coming out to my mum because I started the conversation with "I need to talk to you." Which my mum knew meant I had something important to say, but also meant I couldn't back out. For me this made it easier because I had to just keep talking. Even if I hadn't my mum would have been able to pull the information from me. In the end she told my she didn't care either way.
You may try a letter, email, or Facebook. My boyfriend and I were talking about coming out as gay and as a couple on FB. We are planning to spend an entire day together replying to comments and supporting each other. Non-verbal communication may be easier for some.
I was young, 13, so over the course of a few months, I would periodically ask her a question to feel her out a bit: "do you think people are born gay?" "do you have any gay friends?" "do you think people choose to be gay?" By the time I finally got up the courage to tell her that I was gay, I knew her feelings about the topic. When I came out to her, she laughed and said she wondered how long it was going to take to tell her - she had already suspected - way before I even started peppering her with the questions! After telling mom, I felt like I had an ally, and telling dad was a piece of cake. My mom was there with me and I felt safe. My dad was a bit more resistant to the idea, but has finally come around to being at least tolerant. We certainly do not talk about my crushes, like I can with my mom, but we have a mutual respect for each other's feeling about my sexuality. Don't beat yourself up too much. When the time is right, you will know. Best of luck to you!
