I (think) I love getting fucked in the ass by my gay fwb, the idea of it drives me crazy and I feel great when he does it. But for some reason I was having trouble maintaining an erection. Is this normal? He's a bit smaller than I'd like. Or did we rush into it? He played with my hole for a bit which felt awesome, but I was ready for full insertion fairly quickly, and told him so. It felt good but like I said, no erection. I should also tell you guys, I smoked weed before we played. I've heard that can make you last longer at least. :help:
This is actually pretty normal. Some guys will be hard as a rock while bottoming, others not so much. Similarly, some guys can cum while bottoming and not touching themselves, others need to masturbate to finish, and others can't cum and need to switch to another activity to finish. Similar can be said for self-stimulation of the prostate during masturbation btw. You may even find that you experience one thing while bottoming with a partner but something else while engaging in solo play. My advice would be to not worry about it or about trying to stay hard and just relax and devote your attention to enjoying the experience. When you're finally ready to finish, you can either masturbate yourself (or have your partner do it for you), or switch to another activity where you can have an easier time maintaining your erection. My 2c worth, Todd
Hey sweetie :3 I'm just curious why you'd be concerned. I wouldn't be very concerned if I had receptive anal intercourse and didn't have an erection to go along with it. For me, it's just about the fun of penetration, the stretching feeling, and loving physical intimacy. Does it feel like you failed or something?
I agree with Todd. This isn't something you should worry about. I don't keep a full erection while bottoming unless I'm playing with myself, and I know this is a pretty common thing. Also, I've never really read up about it, but I've smoked weed and had sex with my boyfriend before and I couldn't even get hard. It felt good, but I just couldn't get hard. But at the same time, my boyfriend and I've smoked and had sex and it's been the most perfect thing, so... I'm not exactly sure how marijuana affects it. It's gone both ways for me. Here are a few articles about that: http://www.hightimes.com/read/weed-wiener-smoking-pot-may-cause-ed http://www.livescience.com/12825-marijuana-men-sexual-function.html So it's definitely possible that marijuana affects your erectile function.
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Some guys get hard and others don't and it really doesn't matter. The main point is that you enjoyed it. I suspect that as you do it more and learn to relax you might find yourself getting hard. Either way it is all about how great it feels to be a bottom.
Just as a side note really, I've always wondered about this when I've seen a guy bottoming in porn and he's not even hard. I just thought it was some wkd porn skillz, I can't even touch an anal toy without getting super hard!! :lol: Drugs and alcohol can definitely affect your erection though, first time I had sex I was blind drunk and it took me literally 10 minutes to get it up. One of the painkillers (opiate based) I used to be on stopped me from getting erections altogether, I went to me GP and said they made me 'feel dizzy' just to get off them and it was problem solved :lol:
I guess its because solo is different than with someone. When I'm alone, i could get rock hard and finish with light penetration or with a video. Whereas with him, I didn't finish once the whole time I was there. I do wish I had cum for him, but I know he had a good time. So you're right, it was satisfying enough on its on. I guess I just thought I'd like to play with myself while he did it. By the time he finished, I had actually forgotten that I hadn't cum, it was so good! Its interesting. I get the same thing with facials, feels great, love it, and I don't need to cum. ---------- Post added 28th May 2015 at 12:26 PM ---------- I never even came lol! Still awesome tho. I love being bi more and more everyday
Part of it may have to do with being comfortable with the person your with. I found that early in my relationship, I was anxious and that impacted if I would remain hard. But as the relationship progressed and we both got more comfortable with each other, and as the sex got better and better, the issue diminished and ultimately disappeared.
It's totally normal. If your mind is really focused on the moment and all of the pleasure you are getting from being fucked, you may lose your erection. Happens to the best of bottoms, i promise you.
Hey sweetie. From what you described to me in your response, it sounds like you're having a performance anxiety episode. You're telling me don't need to cum for yourself. You need to cum for him. Why? He gets to fuck your ass, so as long as you're into it, I'm sure he's having a fun time. And if you enjoy the penetration, you're getting what you need out of the experience. You don't need to have an erection and ejaculate for him just to "prove" you had good sex. Any partner who had that requirement would be silly and unrealistic in having that expectation. (*hug*) Adrienne