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I think I have a closeted Bisexual friend. How can I help him?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by thesimpleguy, May 27, 2015.

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  1. thesimpleguy

    thesimpleguy
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    Well, I hope you all can help me... I'm very sad and worried.

    The thing is, I have had this thoughts about a very close male friend being bisexual, but I never really believed to them.
    The last week, my group of really close friends and I went to a party, well, we drank a lot, danced a lot, we were happy and crazy. At the end of the party we were all going to my house, and I remember (he and me) we were talking just before we got into the house, he was crying, and I mean CRYING, CRYING. I was really drunk so I don't remember a lot.
    The next day I noticed him very sad and isolating himself from the others including me, like thinking and lonely, I did not know why.
    The next day another friend of mine told me she heard him telling me he was bisexual and that he couldn't accept it, and me telling him that I am bisexual too among other things.
    He kept isolating himself and I'm worried sick (the past year a friend killed himself because of his sexuality and I don't want it to happen again)

    How can I help him, make him talk to me? (he is very closed to this kind of talks)

    I'm thinking of having drinks and then talk to him.
    Please, I need help.
     
    #1 thesimpleguy, May 27, 2015
  2. Synthetik

    Synthetik
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    In my experience, when people struggle with depression and suicidal feelings, it doesn't matter too much what the specific topic they're fixating on actually is; as long as they have the right kind of emotional support, they can still be helped. What I mean is that you don't have to 'solve' your friend's issues with his sexuality in order to help him feel better, you don't have to convince him to discuss his homosexual feelings specifically in order to show him support.

    It sounds like having some drinks and then talking with him is a good idea, since that will probably make him feel more comfortable, but I wouldn't worry too much about discussing bisexuality or trying to force a conversation about that topic. The most important thing you can do is simply show him that you're there for him, that you will be his friend no matter what his sexuality turns out to be, and that you understand what he's going through. Make sure he knows that he doesn't need to isolate himself, especially not from you, and hopefully he will want to open up about being bisexual on his own.
     
    #2 Synthetik, May 27, 2015
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