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new guys...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, Jul 3, 2015.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    I cannot speak to accepting being gay as I always accepted it I simply was naive and believed I was protecting myself. But I fully understand the complications life can bring. So you have accepted you are gay how do you deal with complications...

    1) they are complications not mistakes
    2) do not get hung up on material stuff
    3) do not punish yourself, you had no mentors no role models and nothing to guide you
    4) you are a good person even though society says you are bad so view society as the liar it is (in all its machinations)
    5) give yourself a break even if nobody else does
    6) KNOW things get better
     
    #1 skiff, Jul 3, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2015
  2. 50ishandout

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    Well said skiff. I think that for so long those of us who thought the closest was the safe place had all these issues running through our heads.
     
  3. Californiacoast

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    I like it. So well Put. Next read: " The Four Agreements." Over and Over again. I just love that one. When I was coming out a Colorado Cowboy from Rhode Island gave me a copy and it changed my life. :slight_smile:
     
  4. 99701

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    I totally agree. The only thing that has changed in my life so far in coming out is I'm now a lot happier. Wish I'd done it a lot sooner.
     
  5. 50ishandout

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    99701 same here. Life is so good.
     
  6. SiennaFire

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    Thanks skiff for the post and Californiacoast for The Four Agreements

    While I'm still riding the tidal wave of coming out to my wife (it's been two weeks), when things are peaceful, I too am much happier. With the burden of lying about my sexuality lifted, everything in life is better and more enjoyable.

    I'm thinking about taking Taekwondo as a form of self-defense as a precaution ...
     
  7. Chicagoblue

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    I wish I had come out or at least committed to the gay lifestyle 20 years ago when I had my first "taste". Really regretting it.
     
  8. headshaver

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    Complications- not mistakes. True!! I did nothing wrong, I had no mentor- amen!
    I'm getting happier by the day.
     
  9. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    The Four Agreements is excellent for many reasons. I highly recommend it.

    ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2015 at 03:29 AM ----------

    Excerpt...

     
  10. hanshotfirst

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    All very good points that are so true
     
  11. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hey, it official. Your do over was approved.

    [​IMG]
     
  12. SiennaFire

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    I will add The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World by Alan Downs to the list of recommended reading for new guys. Just starting reading it based on the strong recommendation of my local gay fathers support group. After reading a few pages, I can see why it's highly recommended. It provides valuable insights into being a gay man.
     
    #12 SiennaFire, Jul 11, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2015