I will just start at the beginning (which isn't really the beginning, but at least the one of my "coming-out"-problems) When a male friend asked me out (and we still have one date ahead of us) my main thought was, that if he was female... But of course as he isn't I can't seem to see myself getting involved with him romantically. I already had a male crush or at least I think I had one, but I am kinda 90% (the lack of ten for the lack of experience) sure that I like girls (and I mean WAY more than guys). And that's excatly what I told my mother (who then told my father) and my therapist, only to be told that I am to young and that it is most likely a phase. Being the coward and as unsure as I am I didn't defend myself at that point. Another reason why they wouldn't believe me might be that I once before lied (they don't know it's a lie) about liking a guy so noone would suspect me being gay because there were already some rumours and my classmates... However: Now everyone tries to match me with that guy and my mother asked me if I still like girls or if I finally stopped it. I tried to tell her it won't just stop, but somehow I couldn't find the right words. I made hints like telling her about a youtuber who came out as a lesbian and how great and brave I believe her to be. But she only raised her eyebrows. My parents claim to be open minded and say it's totally ok if I am gay, but also that it's most likely just my lack of experience with men and therefore I should continue or rather start dating boys. Which is something I just don't want. There is a female friend who lives a 1.5hours away who likes me romantically if I didn't misread the signs. However she is even younger than me and most likely has even less experience. I don't know if we would work out but I really want a girlfriend. Not only to show my parents that I am serious and not only trying to get attention as they think I am, but because I feel lonely and girls are just way more attractive than guys (from my point of view). Do you know an other way to prove I am serious (without making me have a long emberassing talk)? I got the feeling that they like me less since they knew about it, could it make them hate me if they acept my orientation for themself? How can I learn to be braver when it comes to such situations? :help: Thanks in advance!
Well I think that you could start the conversation seriously and they will take it seriously. Also, you could write a note if you don't want to do it face-to-face. And that's all I can tell you.
I'm sorry to hear about that situation. Being a teenager questioning their sexuality is hard enough, then to add in everyone telling you that you're wrong. All I can say is, if you can, defend your sexuality, defend you questioning. It is okay to not be sure about your sexuality. It's okay to experiment and play with orientations until you find which one is you. And if you're parents seem open-minded but aren't... well, it's true, they may not actually be. But also they could just be in denial. A lot of people who are self-proclaimed open-minded tend to get uncomfortable and try to explain away when they're confronted with it in their own lives. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're not open-minded, or that they won't accept you. They could just need time. All the best!
Thank you for your fast advice. I am not ready to talk to them again right now, but I will try to do so after some time has passed. I hope you are right. thanks
