I came out to my immediate family and the results were completely opposite than I expected. A little back story. My parents have always been huge supporters of LGBT rights. I have a cousin that is gay and when he had nowhere else to go, they allowed him and his partner to live in their house for two years. You'd think that a family like that would be accepting of their daughter liking other women, right? Wrong! When I sat them down and told them they completely flipped out! They started yelling at me, putting me down and calling me names, then they began to say that I only believed that I was or that I wanted to be a lesbian because I was molested by a male family member over the span of six years. Yes. That type of thing absolutely has a lasting effect on a person. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety due to it which in turn makes my bipolar disorder much harder to handle. I take medicine though and see a therapist once a week and have been for awhile. BUT, none of that has anything to do with my sexuality. I didn't choose to feel the way I do nor did I choose what gender I'm attracted to, I was just born like this. I couldn't change it even if I wanted to. When I left their house that day they said that they didn't want to see or be around me anymore and I thought they were bluffing. I figured it would eventually blow over and things would be okay. I gave them two weeks of space then yesterday I tried contacting them. My father, mother, and brother have all changed their cell numbers, the house phone is disconnected, and when I tried to email them it came right back to me because apparently they have changed their email addresses too. I'm devastated and I'm now questioning my decision to tell them, but I've realized that it's too late to ponder the 'what ifs'. But whenever I look in the mirror I can't help but call myself stupid as well as to ask myself why in the hell did you do that? I feel so alone. I guess that's why I came here... to be around others who won't judge me or shun me away. I'm trying to come to terms with being shut out, but it's hard. When my parents make up their mind about something that's it. They don't change it. I'm too hurt and angry to bother with trying to make them see the light anyway. Is it normal to feel so resentful towards myself and towards them? Because I feel that way. So, so much!
Thank you both. I'm sure I'll be fine, eventually. It's just really tough to handle right now because the wounds are all so fresh.
First of all, I'm very sorry that happened to you. No person should be rejected by their family, especially in a way such as this. There's really nothing you can do except wait for them to open up again. The ball is in their court, so to speak. But I'm not worried about you one bit. You seem like a very strong-willed person. If you get pushed one way, you'll push back even harder. I admire that. And like what someone else said, we on EC are here for you if you need to talk
Oh my godThis was very upsetting for me to read and I am really sorry that something this horrible has happened to you.I can only imagine how upsetting it is for you.I can't empathise because it never happened to me but I can imagine how hard this is.Id you try talking to the gay make who your parents allowed stay with them as they may b able to help you? Also I am on your side, I don't believe your mental condition affects your sexuality, that is just rubbish. I hope there is someone you can go to who will be willing to take you in and like you for who you are, not your sexuality. As other people said you DO seen strong willed an I too admire this. Don't let this affect your love life.Embrace your sexuality and just campaign about it, but it might be best not to retaliate just in case your parents do change their mind. If you need someone to talk to I and every other members of empty closets are her for you. Good Luck, TheBiBoy
OMG I had something really similar! My mom WILL NOT believe me and refuses to talk about it. She thinks it's a phase, and that I'm just being immature. But if anyone ELSE comes out as gay? "Ooooh, good for them!"
Sometimes being open and accepting is obviously only a facade. People have to walk the talk and sadly you family does not do that. It must be extremely hard for you, but they are really a bunch of hypocrites. Your sexuality is not a phase and not caused by mental illness (kudos for working with a therapist). But lack of acceptance can certainly cause or exacerbate mental problems. You are a strong woman and I think you did the only thing you could do. Just sad to see your family react so poorly. Please try to be as kind and friendly towards yourself as possible. Take care
