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Please help me

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Sad Johnny, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. Sad Johnny

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    Hello. I'm 16 years old. As a child, I was always attracted to girls, wanted to be with girls, etc.. However when I became 13 I started feeling arousal towards boys. I didn't fall in love with a boy/ kissed one, but good looking boys sexually aroused me. By the age of 14 I was almost convinced that I was homosexual. However, at 15, I got an erection from watching a good looking girl in a movie. It happened several times, usually when I didn't notice it(Wasn't "concentrated" on attracting to girls)- happened with computer games and video clips and even with this girl in class one time. However, when I'm watching a girl while being aware of me doing it, it only has a little effect on me. Most of my mastrubations were about boys, however I find gay porn not appealing. I have tried watching it, but it made me uncomfortable(as a really open and accepting person- it wasn't homophobia or anything like that). My mastrubations were about pictures of boys, fetishes etc but I never felt a need for homosexual inter course or even a romantic relationship. About girls, i find mastrubating unpleasent, even when I find them pretty/ attractive and it's usually hard for me to get an erection "on purpose" when it comes to girls. Even though I can and have been attracted to girls, for some reason I find it hard and not fun to think about them in a sexual way. Boys are more exciting, however I wouldn't like to have sex with boys, which is pretty weird. In december, I got a full erection from watching a girl, after telling a friend I was bisexual(that was what I thought that time) and it's also happened fast. So the situation is I have sexual attraction for both genders but boys for some reason attract and excite me more, while girls almost do nothing to me lately, but I can't help but to think about the many times I got erection from watching girls and I think that my straight side is pretty weak now and I don't know why. I'm so confused I don't feel at all homosexual but girls don't attract me enough to define myself bisexual but in my subconscious I think I'm actually straight since I never got attracted to boys unconsciously or had sex dreams about boys or anything like that and always thought about girls growing up. Can somone help me I'm so confused and depressed :frowning2:(
     
  2. Confusedmoose

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    Hey Sad Johnny. You are not alone. I know what it is like to be confused about your sexual orientation. It's okay to be questioning- I still am and I'm almost 24 (but I'm getting there). It takes time to figure out who you are. Being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean that you like men and women in the same amount. Sexuality is a spectrum. Some days I feel really attracted to guys and not to girls at all. Other times I feel attracted to girls, but usually not to the same degree as guys (although sometimes I do). That's what makes things so confusing, but also makes you you. Take time to figure out who you are- there's nothing wrong with doing that. If you ever need to talk we are all here for you :slight_smile:
     
  3. Sad Johnny

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    Thanks confusedmoose you are very nice. The problem is I do want a romantoc relationship with a woman someday, but I'm afraid im not sexually aroused enough to have sexual relationship with a girl, however I don't want one with boys either, even though they attract me more right now.. So I feel kinda stuck in life. Imagining me with a guy is really weird for me.
     
  4. Confusedmoose

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    I completely understand how you feel. I feel like that too sometimes. As corny as it sounds what's meant to be is meant to be and with time you will figure out who you are. Maybe don't think of yourself as stuck, but more of at a point of reflection. You won't be stuck forever.