Hello all, This is my first time seeking support after attempting to come out to those closest to me, just over a year ago. Although I did everything I could to hide it, I've known I was different that all of my other buddies for as long as I can remember. Just over a year ago I finally came out to my parents. They did not take it well and this really impacted my abilities to deal with this effectively for a long time. However, over the past year I have worked with my parents to rebuild our relationship to the best that we can. Since first coming out, I have gone from hating myself and wanting to hurt myself to actually being o.k with who I am and also eager to move on. Despite the major change in my personal attitude, a year later , I find myself beginning to feel more and more defeated once again. As ready as I feel, I am still so afraid of the final acceptance I guess and feel as though taking action is impossible. These struggles of self understanding and acceptance, over the past 15 years have done more than take their tole on my self confidence but that too is coming back. I recently graduated university, am working in a great job and feel as though I am finally ready to move on with this part of my life. At this time, I feel as though I don't know what to do next. I have been trying to network over apps and other chats but I am becoming discouraged by the excessive pressures and forwardness of so many members... Any tips, suggestions or stories are much appreciated. It feels incredible to finally share again, M
Well coming out to your parents is one of the hardest if not the hardest steps. You have finished most of the battle in my opinion. You say you have a good job so it's pretty clear that you aren't financially dependent on anyone. In that case you could take a step forward and tell the people who are closest to you. If any of them reject you then you don't need them in your life. It's better to have real friends and family that will love and support you despite your sexuality. It may be hard at first but know this you can make it through this. No matter what even if you feel defeated you should tell the people who are closest to you. You will feel a lot of weight lifted off your shoulders and you will be far more relaxed. Also keep in mind that you sound pretty young and most younger people are accepting of sexuality and gender identity differences. And, to my knowledge Canada is extremely accepting of LGBT rights. Assuming you are in Victoria, Canada. Remember confidence is something precious and even though it may feel like it's slipping you are gonna be fine, because deep down you have a roaring fabulous tiger just ready to come out. I've come out to some many people in so many different situation that it is okay for me to just tell people now. One day you can easily do it too. If you need me to elaborate let me know, but I hope I have helped you even if it was just a little. You are welcome her at Empty Closets no matter what. Have a good day friend.
Thank you very much for your reply. It was very much appreciated and needed at this time. Ultimately I have come to accept this process and its seemly slow pace. Most of my friends are aware and truthfully, as of today my support group is fantastic. I think my real struggles now are in finding true peace in my future; which. I feel as though I am trying and willing to do, yet I cant seem to be able to completely commit to who I am trying to accept.
I believe it's hard for almost everyone to accept their true inner selves even if they aren't LGBT. You want to find true peace in the future and that is a goal in itself regardless of LGBT likeness. True peace can only be obtained when you look at your life and can say "I am who I am. I have done what I done. I have tried to be the best I can be and that is okay. Regardless of what others say I know that I have done a good job in my life. I am content." I once had a teacher tell me that it is better to be content with your life rather than happy. That is because happy emotion that doesn't last forever and you always want more and more happiness. However, when you are content in life you have made peace with yourself and you wouldn't want to any drastic changes to occur to disrupt your content life. It's a true goal to want to obtain the feeling of true peace, but only you can determine when you have achieved that goal. That goal is also different for everyone. This may not be the answer you wanted, but if you work towards the goal of being content in your life to achieve true peace within yourself maybe that is just enough for now.
