Anyways, I knew I was bi for a while, I just kept denying it and pretended I was straight and only acted gay when I am horny. I have been on here for a day and been burying around this all the sections looking for a scenario like mine. I had posted something like this, but this confirmed by bisexuality. I find it hard to come out because I feel like A. It is too early to know B. I can't accept I am bi or C. I will get called "Dick-sucker" and I am terrified of that. It happened to another kid who was actually strait, but since he was a boy and had piercing, he was labeled as gay from other students. So I decided to cool down with a break on hw, and I had to go to my bathroom. When I came back, my sister had started a chain reaction, causing me to come out to my wikia friends, who took it weirdly, BTW, my sister knew nothing about my feelings. You can see the whole story here:http://emptyclosets.com/forum/comin...rd-coming-out-online-friends.html#post3034756 Anyways, like I said, this is similar to another earlier post of mine, but this has more of my feelings pour out into it. I have been called "faggot" and "queer" a couple of times, but that was just my friends joking around. They called each other that too. I have been the target of gay jokes recently, but everyone is attacked. I am worried what they will react, but my biggest question is this one. How do I come out to myself? I know I am bi, but for some reason I can't accept it. I know I can't come out until I do. How do you accept you are bi quickly. It is very hard for me to do so, and every time I get the mental momentum, my friends strike me down with another gay joke. I will come out to them first, but how do I ignore these so I can accept i am bi. This is very hard and everything is helpful.
Honestly it takes time and maturity. I denied my homosexuality for the longest time, 10+ years. I see that you are 13 and at this age, unfortunately, a lot of your friends will be very immature. From the sounds of it, this is holding true. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about them and their actions. The only thing you can do is ignore the things they say and don't take it personally. As of now, it is just joking so that's easy to do. If you come out to them and they start saying those things seriously, it may become harder. They may treat you differently, and this will really test you. You know your friends though and you should judge how you think they will react. The main thing is your safety. You don't want to become a victim of bullying or hate. It is important to understand that coming out can be a life changing event and for some it can be a good change and others it can be a bad change. Take some time for yourself. Son't let other's words get you down. Just remember that everything you are doing, is for you and only you. Don't do it to please other people, do what makes you happy. 13 isn't too young to know that you are bi, but it can be a very tough age to come out. You are going through a lot of changes with puberty, hormones, friends, etc. I don't know that I have any real advice on how to come out or how to accept yourself, but I will say is just make sure you are safe.
Thanks! I am not scared for my safety, and I am well liked by most people in school (right-wingers and left-wingers), and most people won't attack me for that, the people who do that leave me alone after I gave one them a bloody nose (long story). I am more scared about name-calling. Only one kid I know is anti-Lgbt, but he doesn't really me. I am worried because I live in a suburb. With white people all around. who are christian. I am hispanic/agnostic. There are 3 lgbt people in 8th grade, but 8th grade is MADE OUT OF MINORITIES, 7th isn't.
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about name calling. The thing that you can do is decide how you will let it affect you. That's easier said than done. I was kinda bullied as a kid; I was poor, dressed poorly, wasn't attractive, very tomboy, nerdy, etc. I was called ugly, kids made fun of my clothes, called me names based on my appearance, etc. It was tough to hear, and to this day I can recall those days and moments and hear those names. It makes me cringe, but at the same time I've used that to help motivate me so to constantly work to improve myself. When called names, I would mostly just ignore them and not really give them a response. I eventually got to the point where I became kind of a smart ass. Example: one kid use to call me a "freckle faced f***" constantly. I hated my freckles from there on, I'm learning to accept them today but I'm very self conscious about my skin now. Anyways, so after about a year of this I finally just stood up one day and told him "I can wear makeup and cover my freckles, but you can't cover up your sh***y personality." Sat down and went back to what I was doing. After that, the comments slowly diminished. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't control what comes out of other people's mouths, but you can control how you respond to them. They want to see you get upset and they want you to get flustered, stumble on your words, look like a fool. If you don't give them that satisfaction, they'll usually move on and leave you alone. You are who you are, and quite frankly, are a better person than anyone who bashes you for being yourself. Be confident, but don't give them the benefit of the argument. That's what they want. In 5 years, you'll move on to college or work force, and they won't matter in your life. I chose to go to college in the next state because I didn't want to continue to go to school with some of these kids any more. I wanted to start a new life where I can just be myself from day 1 and if people didn't like me then so be it. Confidence is key! Don't let words get to you!
Honestly, for me I started with telling people I didn't care about so that if they stopped talking to me it would have no effect. It was like that for a long time until my parents stumbled upon my electronic devices (3DS and a Nook) that I came out to them. It took me a very long time to come out to my best friends because one was homophobic for the longest time and the other I had a crush on and didn't want him to stop talking to me if he found out I was gay. I learned though that it gets easier the more times you tell someone new. Internet friends are a good place to start. Just don't do it until you think you're ready and you understand yourself. Lastly, as taken said "Confidence is key!".
As all the others said, you can't control what other people say about you but you can decide how much that affects you. Confidence and acceptance are key in this. From my experience, each day I feel a bit better about myself and I have come out to my mom and some close friends, and I'm feeling more and more confident on coming out to other friends but I could get in trouble ( my dad is homophobic and if my sexuality spreads out my dad will find out and he will definitely punish me real bad and my teenage years will be ruined so :c ) so I mostly stay in the closet ( even tho I don't want tooo :c ) The techniques I use to accept myself are : - in front of the mirror, say : "I'm ( insert sexuality here ) and proud of it." It may sound weird but it does work, trust me. ( You don't have to exactly say that too, basically anything similar works lol ) - watch videos or read blogs of people who are proud to be bisexual/gay/other sexuality. - talk with other lgbt friends you have. ( tbh my best friend guy and my best friend girl are both bisexual ( coincidence? I don't think so ) so I'm pretty lucky on that x3 ) - do NOT stay with homophobic people or read/watch anything related to that. ( How unpleasant ) And that's mostly it, there is probably other ways but I can't think of anything right now. I wish you good luck and remember that you can always come here for help and support! Believe in yourself ^^
