Tell-tale signs that you're gay/bi?

I think one of the biggest tell-tale signs if you are gay or bi is who you look at. Imagine going to a really crowded place (e.g. a train station or shopping mall) and looking at everyone passing by. Without forcing anything, let you're eyes wander from person to person and slowly you will feel yourself gravitating to certain people. Sometimes these people might stand out because they are wearing something outrageous, but quite often, you find yourself subconsciously looking at people you find attractive. Whenever I do this, I find myself mostly looking at guys rather than girls, so that was a pretty clear indication that perhaps I might be into guys after all.

Also I found that most of the people I made strong emotional bonds with as a teenager were guys rather than girls, so I realized I prefer guys to girls. Alternatively, I have heard that it is really useful to just fantasize about who you would imagine being with in the future. Although this is a clever method of finding emotional attraction, internalized homophobia plays havoc with your thoughts and can lead to very skewed results.

Internalized homophobia generally revels in sabotaging any of your gay/bi feelings. I think that is why when you ask many people who have gone through questioning, they respond with their "tell-tale signs" that make it seem so simple and obvious. However, as someone who only recently realized that they were bisexual, when you are questioning the internalized homophobia muffles out all these signs and only once you have finished questioning, is the veil removed. Then that just leaves you thinking "How the hell did you not realize sooner?!"

 

Well, I always checked out guys as well as girls. Just never realized I was doing it. Internal homophobia? Probably.

Now I'm like, "How the hell did you not realize sooner!?"

 

*I only listened to female singers.

*I never got excited about "boy bands". My best friend was obsessing over a one direction picture in a magazine once and I just shrugged, then she turned the page and I got super excited when I saw a pic of Zendaya XD

*When I was seven, I remember wishing I was a boy so I could date girls because they are so much prettier. And I don't think these thoughts were inspired by the whole immature "boys vs. girls" stuff, b/c I have always been friends with guys.

*I get super jealous of two women couples.

*I've always felt more comfortable with women, and more drawn to them.

 

In high school/ college the only poster I had up in my room was of Mary Stuart Masterson from Some Kind of Wonderful. What straight girl does that...hello? Funny ...but my wife has the same look. I can only wonder why I fell for her so hard.

 

-Growing up I had mostly female friends in school since males made me uncomfortable.
-I never had a girlfriend or talked about girls.
-I liked playing with Barbies and other stereotypical girl toys while over at friend's houses.
-One of my favorite movies when I was little was To Wong Foo. It's a 90's movie about drag queens although I wasn't sure what they were, I was just drawn to them lol.
-The main one is that I always had crushes on boys ever since elementary school(around age 8+).

 

The first one that I thought after I read your threat was that not a long time ago, my best friend told me that I asked her a couple of times when we were like in 4th grade if we could play living as lesbians and I died laughing when she told me that.

Also I kissed a couple of girls, and liked it c;

I stared at girls, a lot. Especially when we were changing for gym. Still have the habit of changing in stalls x3

 

I was 100% straight as a teenager, and even today I would consider myself to be 99% straight, but..........


When I was 21 I met a guy, and the two of us instantly became friends. We developed an incredibly strong friendship where we were hardly ever apart, and after a few months I started experiencing fleeting moments where I felt sexually attracted. After about two years, we were at home the one night and we had been drinking and we had smoked some weed. He asked me if I would ever ever let a guy perform oral sex on me, and I can clearly remember that the question made me feel very uncomfortable, but at the same time, it excited me.

I remember feeling all nervous, and while one side of me wanted to make it clear that I was only interested in girls, the other side of me was wanting to go with the flow so I said it would depend on who the guy was and it would depend on the moment. He then asked me what I would say if it was him. By now a was almost trembling so I guess that was a clear sign that I couldn't have been 100% straight after all. Anyway, I just shrugged and said I don't know. After a few minutes he popped the question, and asked me straight out if I would let him blow me, and I said yes. The biggest telltale sign for me was the fact that as well went to the bedroom, all I could think about was me being able to blow him as well.


As I was secretly hoping, the situation turned around after a few minutes and it was soon me doing all the work lol. It was one of the most exciting things I have ever done, and I went on to give him regular head for just over ten years. We never explored beyond oral sex, and there was never any cuddling and etc.


Years later, after our paths parted, and after I had moved to Thailand with my wife and kids I became good friends with a slightly younger Thai guy, and the two of us started having some oral fun on a regular basis. This has been going on for a few years now. Sometimes he reciprocates, but most times he doesn't simply because it is not really important to me. I get a massive amount of satisfaction from giving him oral. I don't know how to explain, but it turns me on in a way which regular sex with a girl can't.

So, am I gay or buy or whatever? I don't really know because I don't have any interest in guys, but there rare occasions where I see a guy and I immediately know that I would gladly go down on him. I am totally not into any sort of anal play and/or cuddling, but performing oral on the right guy is something which I find incredibly hot. Yeah, I am confused.

 

Replace To Wong Foo with The Birdcage for me and this all sounds so much like my teenage years.

Though I do love To Wong Foo too. I met John Leguizamo at my boxing gym once and had to really fight telling him that I loved him in that movie!

 

You should have yelled out Chi-Chi!! and seen if he noticed, lol. :laugh:

 

Hmmm, not sure as still unsure. I am a (I think) about 98% straight woman. However:
- Always got on best with men, my brain works in a masculine way. My day job and training is very much a man's world.
- Don't really know how to interact with most women. And I'm rather in awe of a certain type of beautiful woman. It's like they're an exotic flower, or vase or something, and I don't know how to interact without breaking it.
- Unless women are scientists, or logical, and outdoorsy like me. Then we get on fine.
- I was a tomboy. I can do dresses and stuff too though.
- Always been drawn to LGBT rights and films.
- Writing is my hobby/second job. Even as a teenager I always always wrote stories which had positive gay (often secondary) characters, which was unusual given the time, where I lived, and that fact I knew no gay people. But then I also wrote about characters with religions and other ethnicities, and that doesn't make me a Buddhist.

Who knows.

 

:roflmao:

He was legit the nicest guy. He's good friends with one of my trainers, so it's not uncommon for him to be at the gym. Perhaps next time!

 

I admired some girls, not knowing it was attraction, I always looked at boobs and thought it was normal, I didn't just think "does he like me?", but also "does she like me?" and I never thought this was because of my sexuality, but something all women do.