I am so confused here. I dream of gay sex and love the feeling of anal with a dildo. Once I have "released" the feelings go away. I notice women on the street but I am married so of course there is no possibility of cheating on my wife. But I have this nagging feeling I am either gay or bi because I just love the feeling and "release" I get when I use a dildo for anal. Help.
Do you find men attractive? If so, then you're possibly bi or gay. Or you could just be curious. I have heard several stories of men enjoying anal but only attracted to women, I wouldn't say it makes you bi or gay unless you find men attractive.
Wanting things in your ass does not make a guy gay. Prostate stimulation feels nice and any guy of any sexuality can like it. A guy who likes it in the ass is still straight as long as his fantasies are masturbation and/or woman wearing a strap-on. Likewise, there are gay men who hate having anything near their ass. They basically take a "straight" role (Hate using that term but It's the best way to describe it) by only penetrating men and only receiving blowjobs (top). However, they are still gay. Being gay is about attraction to men. You have to desire men to be gay or bi, even if It's not anal related (could be oral, hands, cuddling...). You could be gay or bi if you're having actual gay fantasies (M/M) but if you're not thinking of men you're not. Hope this helps!
You are probably Bisexual to some degree. Do you fantasize about men and notice guys out in public? Ever had a crush on a close friend?
thanks to all that have responded. Yes I have gay fantasies. I would love to have gay sex just to see how it was. I has sex as a young child with an older boy. I was molested I guess you could say. I find some men attractive not sure about emotionally. I a bag of confused for sure.
Confused Sailor Based on this and your previous posts, it seems to me that you could be gay or bi. I notice you have a therapist. Continue to explore your feelings and be as honest with yourself as you can be. The other posters are correct here. Anal stimulation is not owned by gay guys. TMI here. I am bi (no doubt about it) and enjoy prostate orgasms. But, even though I am bi, I never fantasize about men, or women, when I do this. It is sort of a non-sexual release to me. So, the fact that you enjoy the stimulation may mean nothing at all unless you fantasize that the dildo is really a guy doing it. I would not think so much about sexual acts as attraction in general. When you are out and you see a nice looking guy, do you feel a sexual urge? Keep an open mind with this and understand it is O.K. to feel this. EDIT I just saw your last post. I would consider that you ARE gay or bi. Since you are married, have you discussed any of this with her?
Or, you may be confused because on the one hand you were molested yet on the other you might have felt some pleasure from the experience. These situations cause significant confusion and you should try and bifocate the feelings you had from the sexual assault with whether or not your attracted to men. I would not necessarily conclude you are gay but definitively confused. If you have not done so, I would recommend visiting with a therapist whom can help you navigate your feelings and work through the childhood molestation (to the extent that is not a topic your already covering). Only then can you really figure out where on the sexuality spectrum you fall.
I've struggled with this very same question for a long time. Sorry in advance for any graphic comments to follow. I've read that many straight men enjoy some anal stimulation from time to time; we all have a prostate that can feel pleasure. It doesn't even matter who or what is doing the stimulation. It's just a physical response. However I believe this is different from the desire to be penetrated, which seems to have a psychological component as well. For me, when I use a dildo, I am really imagining myself in a submissive and vulnerable position. It's not just about prostate stimulation, it's more of a sense of being filled -- similar, I imagine, to what a woman experiences. I've always believed that this latter fantasy, of being penetrated, is gay by definition since it implies the presence of another penis. By contrast, when a girl slips a finger up her BF's butt while she's blowing him, I don't think he is imagining a dick; he just enjoys the sensation for what it is. For me personally, I've always had a really hard time connecting these fantasies to any specific men. So that's been a big difficulty for me in accepting that I'm truly gay, even though logically I believe that I must be. Simply put, I don't think there are straight guys that fantasize about getting fucked. Of course, this is just my opinion based on what I've felt, heard and read. If anyone has other perspectives, I'd be happy to hear them.
I think for the most part you're probably right. It's probably possible for a straight guy to imagine being 'fucked' but it would only be by a strap-on. You usually only see these men in femdom/sissy fetish/BDSM circles.
You probably are if you're screaming guy names while enjoying anal stimulation. Even with that if you're stimulated by yourself or a woman that isn't gay. It isn't straight sex when two women use strap-ons. Hope the stigma guys face with anal stimulation & sex toys in general goes away.
