So my friend is homophobic. Not too homophobic, as in "all gays shall die". But if I tell him, he'll ignore me, tell his parents, which will ask my parents about it (who I haven't come out to yet). I came out to my parents as pan, but they thought it was just a phase. Then they got mad at me, and so then they'll get even more mad at me. How do I tell him without making sure his parents find out?:bang:
Don't tell him. Simple as - if by telling him your parents will find out then you shouldn't tell him. You can choose your friends but you can't chose your family. If he's homophobic then he isn't really any good in the first place.
If you don't trust him completely, don't tell him. It's actually quite risky to even stay friends with him, especially if you're so afraid that he will out you. You should also consider that he might find out about it soon or later, no matter if it's by an accident or not.
Let me ask you, what are your expectations? What result would you wish to get? The answer to your question may depend from this. Still, coming out to someone who probably wouldn't want to listen may be hard, or impossible.
If you can't trust a person in telling them this, are they truly a close friend? Don't think so. Don't feel obliged to tell him or keep him in your inner circle if you cannot trust him with this.
How is he your friend if you know that he'll hate you if he knows what you are? I just avoid being friends with those kinds of people.