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He told me he loves me

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Jhilde137, Aug 26, 2016.

  1. Jhilde137

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    He is married with kids we have only been seeing each other for a few weeks he has not told his wife that he is bi. We were having sex and he leaned down on my back and whispered in my ear that he loved me. Now what?
     
  2. xenu

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    I hate to say it, but run. This will not end well. Its going to lead to a messy divorce with you dragged in the middle.
     
    #2 xenu, Aug 26, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2016
  3. Goldensun

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    You're the first guy he's been with, and his first experience of gay sex, and it sounds like he's using you to fulfil a deep need within himself - one that he's only now letting out. So it might have been the hormones and the emotions speaking when he said this. Love is more than just the first kiss or first sex.
    How honest are you both being with each other and with the other people affected by this? And are you, by getting involved with him, setting yourself up for something seriously complicated and emotionally destructive?
    If he wants a relationship and you just want sex, then you should end it and get your sex somewhere else.
    If you both want a relationship, then you've got to work out if you're OK with his wife not knowing. Or do you want him to tell his wife and get her OK for the relationship?
    I'd say you're both got to bring a bit of reason and maturity to this and discuss it and come to a decision which you can live with.
     
  4. Nickw

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    I agree with Goldensun

    As I recall, you are still working things out with your wife too. This could get very complicated. My thought is that you and he need to sit with each other and discuss what your needs are in this relationship. Not judging here...but, there are your wives to consider.

    I am seeing guys outside of my marriage (with my wife's permission). One of the things I worry about is this. So, I am very careful to discuss, prior to intimacy, what each of us is looking for in the relationship. In my case it would be called "male bonding with benefits". If the guy is looking for more, or less, I don't care how hot he is. This is what I agreed to with my wife.

    Time for some very serious and open conversations.
     
  5. Tomás1

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    The fact that he told you "i love you" doesn't mean a whole lot. It could have meant "I'm feeling really passionate... I like you... It's been a long time since I've had sex this good, etc...

    What did you take it to mean?
     
  6. Jhilde137

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    I am not sure what he meant we met and talked he seemedl a little off and it was awkward so I got away not sure what will happen now