How did you begin the topic of conversation to anyone/someone close about a change in your 'circumstances' ?? Did you plant the seed....and then let it sit for a bit.... Or did you jump in both feet and just blurt it out? Who was the first person you told? During a conversation with my best friend (over messenger not face to face) I made a jesting passing comment that as I've had such bad luck with guys....I *should just find myself a good woman * "Oooooh, noooo!! Don't be doing that, my friends daughter has just done that and is causing alsorts of chaos!!" Not something I knew how to answer to..... :/
Not so much of a jump in for me, more like a cliff dive. By the time I was ready to come out to anyone, I was ready to just do it no matter the consequences. This was my personal experience, and not necessarily indicative of others' experiences. Look at it this way, if your friend is a true friend, they will accept you. If they turn out to be only a good weather friend, best you know that earlier than later. I didn't tell anyone while I was still questioning.
Haha for me it had to be diving in. I really don't like things to be up in the air so for me I either want it to be a secret or I want to know I've told someone and they definitely got what I meant but I do know a lot of people who like to try and make it funny or try and hint and hope people will get the message. I think the problem with these ways as you have somewhat found out is that sometimes what we as the people coming out think are huge in your fact hints and clues are completely missed by those we are trying to tell, or just glossed over leaving you not knowing whether they did get it but didn't acknowledge it or didn't know what to say or whether they missed it. I imagine if you had said to your friend that you are questioning your sexuality then she would never have made the comment about her friends daughter which potentially inadvertently upset you.
So, the only person I've come out to is actually my sister/best friend and i've only come out about my sexuality and i don't know your exact situation so i'm probably a completely useless vessel to you right now, but, with my sister, it basically went something like this: Her: Hey... Hey, bro. ... You gay? Me: Yah. Her: Sweet. ... Yo, i hear we're having Chinese food tonight. Both of us, simultaneously and, not to mention, over excitedly: BEST NIGHT. So, that went well. But, basically, moral of the story for anyone reading this is... drumroll...: What ImGay47 said basically. A good friend'll stick around no matter what. If things go badly? Who gives a sh*t, there's other good people out there. Friendly, supportive people, and, who knows, maybe you have some family or friends who are exactly that. Besides, would you really want someone who would only accept you if your someone else to be in your life anyway? I certainly wouldn't... But, as for real advice, come out when your ready and sure. Don't rush yourself. Don't be too pessimistic but also don't be too optimistic. Just be ready and prepared, and, importantly, safe to do so. That's advice for anyone. Or, y'know, you could just wimp out of the whole 'coming out' thang like i probably will and just one day come home, wife in hand, just, like, "'sup, this is the love of my life, yes, we've fricked, f*ck all'a ya'll." and intimidatingly sidestep away whilst making intense eye contact with the subject in question. ...Again, all advice for anyone reading this... But, y'know... That's just me...
My experience has been similar. By the time I came out, I was so ready to do so that it pushed me past the fear and anxiety of the act. For me, it's been an awesome life-changing event. It's truly better on the other side for me. Like Imgay47, I want to stress that this isn't the case for everybody, but it sure has been for me. Good luck to you, I wish you much strength.
