Hi everyone, I'm a 22 year old girl who is pretty certain that she is a lesbian. It has taken me a while to get there and I have been involved with boys as recently as 9 months ago. I first seriously thought I might be gay 2 years ago but still continued to date my boyfriend at the time and did get involved with him a bit when we had broke up. So my friends and family have all witnessed me being in a long term relationship with a man (2 and half years to be exact) and because of it I think I'm going to have a hard time convincing people that I'm gay if I come out. I'm even thinking that I might not be convincing to whoever is reading this right now. The details of me figuring this all out are very complicated and I suggest you read a post I made in the Sexual and Romantic Orientation section if you want to know how I got to concluding that I'm gay. Link to post: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/220424-confused.html So my current situation is as follows. I have just moved into a Catholic residence and have a new roommate. I'm pretty sure she is Muslim but she doesn't seem very traditional or conservative. My residence also does not tolerate discrimination against members of the LGBT community. My issue is that ever since I met my roommate all she does it want to talk about boys and what she finds attractive about them. I get that for many girls this is how they bond with other girls, but it is so awkward for me because I either have never heard of the guys she is talking about or she will show me pictures of guys and I'm obviously not attracted to them because I'm gay and she will expect me to say that they are cute. I'm having a harder and harder time avoiding answering her questions. The first thing she asked me was "who is your celebrity crush?"-- I somehow switched the topic to bird banding. The next evening me and a friend were making cupcakes and her and my friend were talking about what they find attractive in boys. They asked me what I found attractive about them. My answer would be nothing--- I'm gay but I'm so not ready to tell people that yet. At least I don't think so. This morning she asked me what I found physically attractive about guys and I responded with "you ask very complicated questions". I'm really at a loss as to what to do if she asks another similar question. I don't know if she will ask again but I'm pretty sure she will. I've been wanting to come out to my one friend but I am so not prepared to come out to someone who I just met and have to live with for the next 8 months. I'm so scared that she will be creeped out by me and think that I'm a pervert. She did mention that she rarely ever gets crushes and she quickly had to say "but I don't play for the other team, but I don't judge". I don't think she hates LGBT people she just might not like living with one. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. That and any advice on how to come out to people that have seen you in a long term relationship with a guy.
Hey I can see that's a tough situation. I think I read in the other thread that you said your roommate has now moved out. Do you still feel like you want to come out to her? If so I don't see why you shouldn't if she is supportive of LGBT people then fingers crossed it should go well.
So the update to this is that as of this Thursday my roommate moved out. She now lives across the hall and we still talk quite frequently. The good thing about this is that if I tell her I don't have to worry about this causing some sort of roommate conflict. Now that she isn't my roommate she isn't my priority to come out to. I do want to come out to her eventually, as well as the rest of my floor once I feel comfortable enough with who I am. I'm taking steps to try and talk to a psychologist on campus and am trying to be brave enough to go to a LGBT+ social group this Tuesday evening. I'm hoping that both of these things will help me feel more comfortable and sure about my identity. Now my priority is to come out to one of my friends. We aren't super close but she has known me for 2 years now. This girl has watched me be in a long term relationship with a man (a very feminine man) and watched me be so hurt when I found out that he slept with another girl. She has seen me fight with him and try to make things better or get back together with him. She has heard a bunch of my crazy stories from my first year of university where I kissed so many boys (and one of my female friends as well). I think she would be very surprised if I said that I don't think that boys are the real deal for me and that I'm much more attracted to girls. I just don't know where to start because she has seen/heard me have all these experiences with boys.
