So, while figuring out student loans, I had to loan on to my email. I'm also signed up for a gay dating site, so I look at my email to get a pay stub and my mom who is helping me sees one of the notification email and these emails make it quite plain that they're for a gay dating site. What do I do?
If you are out, be honest. If you are not out, just say it's spam. Or blame it on a friend no matter your out status.
Or take the opportunity and tell her. But only you can know if that's the right thing to do. Maybe it's not the right time for you to come out to here. Or maybe it is.
Sorry, I was in a rush. No I'm not out, also I may have tried to cover it up with my hand, which only made it more suspicious. Now, I'm at my apartment, so I'm probably pretend that it didn't happen until I come out. ---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 09:50 PM ---------- However, if she confronts me about it I might come out because I'm tried of being in the closet and keeping app these secrets.
It's good to use a separate email account for anything "sexy," really whether you're out or not. Isn't the bigger worry your father's reaction? Anyway, I hope you're prepared if she figures it out, and that it goes well if she does.
Well, I've deleted the emails and the account. I'm planning on telling her that it was a joke that one of my friends was playing on me. I knew about it, but I didn't want her to see because I didn't want her to worry that I'm gay.
If you haven't already talked to your mom about it ... Maybe you should just wait and see if she makes a comment about what she saw and THEN tell her non-chalantly that "oh, it was just a joke one of my friends was playing on me." If you are too proactive in trying to downplay it (you can't be certain of what she did or didn't see, can you?), you may draw more attention to it. Just a thought.
So, I ran into her today and she brought it up. I ended up tell her that I looked into those emails, and that I didn't sign up for them. She seemed to accept my answer and be okay with it. She, of course, followed up with a reminder about how "associating with those kind of people stops us from progressing" in the church. But, the problem was avoided and everything should be okay. At least until she and my dad find out that I AM one of those people.
Congratulations on surviving the near-miss! Nor the fact that you've been associating with a WHOLE BUNCH of 'those' people on this website!:lol:
I hope her position on this is more bluster than conviction, in the long run. I can see you have a big challenge in the future, to deal with this issue. I know you've written in the past about your father's attitudes, but I hope that your mom will be more open minded when the time comes. How do you feel about this, in the long run? It must be troubling to you. I hope there is a group in your school or somewhere that you can find an outlet in 3D to talk with others about this.
When I posted previously, I didn't know about the church and religion side of your story. Sorry. And I appreciate how hard it must be for you. Just wanted you to know that I now understand.
Hobbes, I am a believer in only coming out when YOU are ready, so I support your decision to cover for the close call. It will probably be fine, but don't bring it up again. I do want to give you something to think about, however. You should consider what your ultimate plan is regarding coming out to them. Are you thinking maybe some day, like a few years? Within the next year? Within a few months? Think about the general time frame. No matter when you do this, the experience of anxiety for you and their unknown reaction will remain the same. So more time between now and then doesn't really change the equation. It's just more time that you are pretending for them and not being your true self. I don't know what reaction your parents will really have because I don't know them. You may have a better idea though they could surprise you. How long are you willing to keep this up? I have recently come out to my whole family. I admit that I didn't have any openly anti-gay sentiments from them, only silence. I just know that I hid my true self from everyone for my 47 years. That's a long time.
