Couldn't reach orgasm from gay blowjob

I don't think you'd be the first - I've never come from a BJ either, some people just don't find that the sensation works for them (as far as orgasm - I still love the feeling).

It sounds a little like it's pressure that's getting to you; a first sexual experience with someone is generally not going to be that relaxing, and the extra pressure to perform when you realise that you aren't is only going to make things worse.

As for the other guy, hopefully this hasn't caused a permanent problem between you. If you're still into each other, just take it slow, enjoy each other's bodies and don't get too hung up on orgasm (take a leaf from straight sex - you don't always have to make a girl cum for her to enjoy herself). Just take the pressure off and have some fun!

 

There's only been once or twice where I've almost finished from a blowjob (but bf didn't let me because he wanted me to go inside him lol). Not everyone can orgasm from a blowjob, so don't sweat it. You can always do mutual masturbation, that's fun too.

 

I agree. Many factors can cause that, from anxiety, stress, meds, nerves to not having the right stimulation to put you over the edge. It's not your fault and it is not his. I hope you both understand that and can give it a try. If you are open to it maybe you could try it first on him. You both may discover something. Good luck!

 

I thought that was my case too. But, holy crap, coming from a BJ is the best thing ever, I even think its better than coming from penetration. It takes time, sometime we are just nervous, and I'm not that very sensitive myself (foreskin issues), but if done properly, in the right conditions, it can be great.

Take time and discover yourself. you may find you just don't like it too, and that's perfectly fine too

---------- Post added 20th Jan 2017 at 07:36 AM ----------

I always take an exceptionally long time to reach orgasm. Even when I was dating a guy, and we had sex regularly, which helped to deal with the trust side of things, I still took a long time to come. Its just a thing about me I guess.

I also masturbate a lot since my 15's. I related a lot to what you are saying. and I also think psychological factors account for a big part of this

I think, what helps the most is to try and feel comfortable about the intercourse you are taking part in. Of course, if you consciously keep worrying about that it'll just get worse, so its just "enjoy it and forget about everything else". Explore your feelings, and the feelings of that person you are with.

Okay, that can happen too; frustration. During casual encounters I never had this issue, but with my now ex-bf, I had it a few times.

You need someone understanding to deal with this climax thing, because its hard for you as it may be hard for the person. Patience. sex is not perfect, sex is messy, people often don't reach climax but they may still enjoy a lot (I didn't reach climax in a few relations, I still enjoyed it a lot). Sex is vulnerable, or at least its supposed to be, when people are sharing a very intimate moment.

You can try to assure the guy that you are comfortable with not climaxing (even if you are not, actually). Perhaps if you actually stop worrying about climaxing, it happen to alleviate the pressure. I tried it and it seemed to help a bit.

Also, apologizing doesn't help, on my view. Apologizing presupposes and acknowledges you are doing something wrong, when you are not. Deal with the problem jointly, or simply, as I suggested before, eliminate the possibility that he becomes part of the problem by assuring him that you don't mind climaxing and that he shouldn't worry about it. Disclosing that this latter suggestion may help you climax may be good depending on his position and reactions as well.

 

I know this thread is a little old, but I had a few thoughts on this issue.

I masturbate at least once every other day, and at most three times in one day. Now the conditions under which I masturbated continually changed because I us3d different lubricants, or none at all, and I've tried it with or without visual stimulation, including porn, or just arousing pictures. Each time the routine changed, I could never get to ejaculation by using an old routine. But in a similar way, some routines just came and went really fast, because they only brought me to orgasm for about a month before they no longer were effective.

And in some very infrequent but not uncommon instances for me, I would do my normal routine after my libido kicked in, same as always, and yet my body just would not respond. This can be due to overall exhaustion after getting through a cold or flu, an underlying temporary emotional awkwardness, or my genitals themselves may be overworked from previous days' masturbation sessions, which is also infrequent but can occur for me every 4 months or so.

The point is, there could be any number of things that could be causing you to have no physical response to a blowjob, even after as long as you tried. And all of them are most likely part of your own mind and body rather than your partner's inability to please. The more you learn about your quirks, the easier it should become to work through these issues and know what you can or cannot do on a day by day basis.

Also, this may just be me, but trying to keep yourself hard for longer than a half hour is probably not going to help things. If I can't keep momentum going consistently to drive the semen up, then I'll likely go limp and have to take a few moments to get myself properly hard again.

 

Well, sometimes it doesn't work.

This might be a bit TMI, but well, my ex for example was really bad at giving oral and no matter what we tried he wouldn't learn how to do it properly. I'd go soft in his mouth, seriously. When he did it I often had to think of what came next (penetrating him) in order to stay hard enough to do that. (He'd be rather offended if I told him that he wasn't doing it right, so after a while I just had to live with it.)

When we separated, I had some, uh, casual sex with another guy, and receiving oral felt completely different and much more pleasurable. I didn't orgasm in his mouth as I didn't think he'd find it funny, but I could've done so if I hadn't stopped before it happened.

 

Some really good advice has been given here. I would summarize my opinion as:

1. Sometimes the psychological stress / anxiety gets in the way. Get to know him a bit, have foreplay, and enjoy touching each other before oral sex. This comfort with each other will make sex more satisfying.
2. Don't stress about it. Try to enjoy being in the moment and not worrying about whether you're doing it "right" or not.
3. Communicate with your partner. Let him know what you like or don't like, and how you like it to be done. There are a lot of ways to give oral sex, and everyone is different.
4. Personally, I find variety to be helpful. Try having your partner experiment with varying speed, pressure, contact points, etc. Licking can be very different from sucking, and caressing is very different from hard stroking. All of these have their own effect. Generally, I like to start with licking and then progress to more forceful contact that typically brings my partner over the edge.
5. Again, relax and enjoy! Let it be. Enjoy the journey and don't get too worried about the destination.

Good luck!

Patrick

 

Here's the most important question.

Did you enjoy it?

Not the fact that you didn't reach orgasm, but the whole experience. Being naked in bed with a guy and doing stuff with him. Did you enjoy that? If so, then absolutely nothing else matters.

Lex

 

There are lots of good answers here, but just to let you know that not everyone enjoys receiving blow jobs. They do less than nothing for me!

 

Ask him to come over again, make sure you don't jack off for a couple of days or more if you're not a horny guy. If you like him make that clear (you seem to have done a decent job of that already asides from the not cumming thing), have another go and if it gets tense maybe cut the tension.