Yesterday I came out to my parents that I am bisexual. I knew that it would not end well, because my parents are very conservative, but I was tired of hiding it from them, and it felt they deserved to know. I was hoping that by sharing this with them we could grow closer as a family. I was terrified of walking up to them and telling them so I decided to find a way to make the experience easier for all of us, so I made a cake! Now, it's not the best made cake by any means, but I put alot of time, effort, and feeling into it. So, when it was done, I called them in, and hid the cake behind a towel, as if it were some game show prize. I took the towel down and let them see it and said "Suprise!" Then things took a turn down a bad alley. My dad's joy imediatly turned into apathy, as he hugged me and said "It's ok, you're just confused". Trying to explain that I was not confused only made him more upset, my mother simply looked at me as if she had lost a son. This continued the rest of the night until they finally let me go. The last thing said to me was by my dad, "Is it ok if I change the cake so we can eat it?". Then, they proceeded to smear off all the colors and letters. Wow. That hurts. The next day, (today, I guess) they simply act like nothing even happend, as if the whole ordeal never existed. I'm still pretty hurt by what happend, but I started feeling a bit better when my dad told me that even though he doesn't approve of my "choice" he still loves and supports me.
The idea with that cake is great:lol: I've seen that on Youtube, Buzzfeed etc. before but I've never thought about someone could actually be baking cake to come out. I'm sorry though that the responses were so bad. Maybe they just need some time to accept it and even if they pretend they don't know....they know. So just try to be open about your sexuality and talk about whatever you want(*hug*)
Thanks, I don't really blame them for how they reacted, it's a pretty big thing to say :/ Btw, I still had a slice of the cake
Hey Inagua, The cake idea was great! Congratulations on Coming Out! That was a very brave thing to do! I'm sorry that your parent's reactions were so disappointing!:icon_sad: However, please remember that this most likely came as a shock to them and they need time to process the 'new'' reality that their son is bisexual. You may want to check out the EC Resource page: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief for some insights into the Stages of Grief. I would recommend that you just quietly and consistently state your bisexuality, as appropriate, letting them know that it isn't 'a stage.' Your Dad seems to be coming around first, albeit very slowly. When one or both of your parents are ready, maybe you can help educate them on what it means to have and LGBTQ son. For example, you could perhaps download and print the PFLAG publication Our Children. Then provide it to them when they are more receptive. Also, you might want to print some information specifically about Bisexuality to help educate them, such as on this website: The Bisexual Index | What is Bisexuality? Just some thoughts.
Thanks for the advice. I know they must be going through the process of grief, so for the most part I can forgive them. As for consistently stating my sexuality, I just get the impression that won't be a good idea in my situation. Thanks for replying though
To be clear, Inagua, I wasn't suggesting that you make your sexuality an in-your-face issue with your parents, rather I was suggesting that you just remain firm about it, if the subject comes up so that they start to realize that it's not 'a phase' and isn't just going to go away. In time, I think they will adjust to the news that you surprised them with.
Its great that you had the courage to do something like that. I'm so sorry the reaction you got was so poor. I cant believe they removed the color so they could eat it thats so wrong. I'd have tossed the cake on the ground and said thats what you just did to my F@$&ing feelings. Thats just me though. Hopefully they will come around and be ok eventually.