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13 year old asked me if it was ok if she had a girlfriend

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Firepit5, Feb 6, 2017.

  1. AlexJames

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    Wow that's great! Its so good to hear that your mother accepts her too. I just think that's really cool and amazing when i read about that on here, cause they grew up in a different era than my and your daughter's generations did. Glad to hear your daughter's doing well.
     
  2. Firepit5

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    Thanks. Because it amazes me too. My parents were born in the 1920's but they always accepted homosexuality/gayness/lesbianism/whateverthepoliticalcorrectterm. All of my life, my parents have been extremely conservative, as in politically and religiously. My mother (whom I will miss dearly when she passes because we have the BEST conversations despite the fact that she is almost 90 years old. Old people know A LOT) and I were talking and either there are quite a few gays/lesbians in our family or our family is more out about it.
     
  3. PixieTink

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    Firepit5

    I was in the same situation as your daughter, but didn't come out to my Mom until I was 15. The thing is she told me she already knew and she loved me for who I was no matter what. That is my advice to you love your daughter no matter if she told you this piece of information or not and give her all the support in the world. Of course there will be those haters and bullies out there, but there will also be those friends that stick by both your side and your daughters side and keep them all very close because you never know when you may need them to speak out. Also give a hug to your daughter for me because I know first hand how stressful and hard it is to come out to your mom at a young age. I also praise you for responding to her in the right way.
     
  4. Firepit5

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    This was a very sincere and heartfelt response, so thank you. You don't know me (no one here does) but I am a VERY strong advocate for my children. I shudder at the thought of someone who would be a stronger advocate. They would be a certified psychopath. My delicious babies are my life and my happiness and I would do anything to protect them. End of story.
     
  5. SilentOtaku

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    Make sure you and her have supportive friends, and those friends will be there for her through thick and thin..
     
  6. Assassin'sKat

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    Hey, don't worry too much about it. Look. If your daughter does get hate, just be there for her. Until then, don't worry about it.
     
  7. Firepit5

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    Meh, I am more of an assassin-type parent than a patiently-ignore parent. I realize there are good things and bad things about all types of parenting. *deep breath* I am trying so hard to be patient. But if anyone hurts or tries to hurt my babies, its going to get ugly.
     
  8. Mum

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    I don't have anything to add except my daughter is just turning 13 and we are going through similar feelings. She's just come out to us and whilst I love her and I'm hugely proud of her for being brave enough and trust me enough to say those words, I'm worried about her coming across hated elsewhere.

    We live near a big city in England, but she's at a small all girls school. And well, teenage girls can be horrible to each other. I don't know how to prepare her for the day it almost inevitably happens whilst not sounding like I'm warning her to stay in her closet!
     
  9. Firepit5

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    You have my deepest empathies. Its soon hard to find a way to put that worry to a good use.

    ---------- Post added 25th May 2017 at 02:00 AM ----------

    sooooo, not soon. : (
     
  10. Zoneingout

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    Sounds like you're a little bit more nervous than your own daughter I think you should just let things play out and what happens happens is your daughter happens to run across bullying or problems at school take care of them yourself and fight for her safety.
    There are anti bullying laws now you just have to lay them in place so the schools know they can't skate around the problems.

    Everyone has the experience with having to stand up for themselves at some point in their lives so if it happens that your daughter ends up getting bullied it's not a great situation that's something and its something that should be taken care of don't get me wrong but it will also teach her how to stand her ground and deal with negativity
    Learning how to stand up for yourself and the people you love in life is a future help.

    Also, keep her around her good friends and her girlfriend
    Invite her more accepting friends over, get to know them things like that so if she ever does run into a problem you'll know the friends you can bring into the conversation and maybe as a result help her realize there are good friends and bad friends. Support groups are also very helpful and wonderful places for kids or teens or even adults so maybe find her a group that she relates to and hopefully she'll find acceptance.

    Lucky thing is she is growing up in a generations that even inside conservative places
    It's becoming more accepted and if it's not accepted it's often left alone and ignored.
    The people who don't do that are the ones just waiting to be back lashed. I think you'll find your daughter will be alright and that the world has open arms even in community's that seem conservative. I visit GA a lot to see my best friend and there are a lot of bible belt people ready to place judgment or concerns on the table when it's not their lives
    but the reality is i found more accepting people in a so called "Bible belt" then i did where i live which is far from the bible belt. ^_^ my point is sometimes just because you live in a place that seems scary, doesn't mean there aren't people who are nice.
     
    #30 Zoneingout, May 25, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2017
  11. Firepit5

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    Thank you. This is well-thought out great advice and I appreciate it.