I am a virgin in the sense that I have never bottomed or topped anyone. I was in a relationship a while back but we only did oral and not anal. This guy on ****** reached out to me and was very forward with him wanting to top me. I want to do this but I'm a virgin and let alone never had a hookup. Yes I know to use protection but my worst fear is that he forces himself on to me or rapes me. He is a complete stranger and the 1 person I know who knows of him told me that his only interest is sex. How do I go about making sure I'm safe?
The only way to find out is to meet up with him, get to know him, and be firm with your boundaries. The reality with a hookup is that you will never know what you're getting into until it happens. This sounds more like a date, if anything, but personally I think that's the safest route to go. Hookups are for people who want to meet up for quick sex and be done with it. There are obvious risks even with oral sex (STD's) and the other person could have easily met up with someone earlier in the day and you still wouldn't know. The reality is that catching any type of STD is significantly higher in a hookup than being in a monogamous relationship. If you still want to go through with it, let a friend know that you're gonna meet up with him, and return them a text/call when you're done so they know you're okay. I've done some pretty risky stuff long time ago, and I'm lucky to not have caught anything. Be safe.
The risk of being raped by a hook up is very real and there are some terribly sad stories about it. That being said, most rape cases actually happen with dates and people that know you instead of from total stranger, which is totally fucked up but very true. So yes, meet in public, talk a bit, and if your gut feeling says "go to his place" then go ahead. Any sign that makes you feel meh run the other way. Also, let the person who knows him know that you are going to meet up with him. Let them know where you guys are going to meet up. This might be awkward since its like "hey about to go have sex, ill text you later", but its the way to be safe. This is also a very quick way to figure out who your true friends really are haha Also, let the guy know that you are a virgin. You are going to need a patient and gentle top at first. It takes a bit practice to bottom. Remember that if it hurts you are doing it wrong, use tons of lube, and of course use a condom.
hi, friend! i'm not a gay dude however - for your own safety - you should let somebody know that you're out and where you're going. not "what" you're doing per se, but just in case. you could give that person a window of time you expect to be out, and a "check-in" time to let them know you're okay. that's more of an aftercare thing and not preventative, but it can also be super comforting to know somebody's looking out for you. other than that, i completely mirror what other folks were saying about meeting in public first, getting to know him, and trusting your gut is huge. stay safe and good luck!
