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Should I tell him?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by GravityHurts, May 24, 2017.

  1. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    So there is this guy I like he's in the grade above me and I want to tell him how I feel about him. I don't think that we could ever be together and I don't expect him to feel the same way about me but I just want to tell him. It wouldn't be awkward if I told him and he didn't feel the same because we barely see each other anymore we've had class together for the first three quarters of the school year but now we don't, I would have to direct message him to tell him. I'm not sure about his thoughts on LGBTQ+ people I never had a chance to ask him. I wouldn't feel that let down if he rejected me because I think that's what he would do, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be sad. I just want to here everyone's advice and if you think I should tell him. Thanks!
     
  2. Fishtail

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    If the feelings are so bubbled up it's almost painful, maybe send an anonymous note or
    ask his viewpoint on LBGT and then see how he reacts without telling you feelings yet.

    I'm writing this cause you are both young and he may say irrational things
    should you drop such a big bomb on him directly afterwards.

    You will have so many opportunity to meet the right person in the future.
     
    #2 Fishtail, May 24, 2017
    Last edited: May 24, 2017
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hey GravityHurts,

    Have you thought about why you feel so strongly about telling him your feelings for him, even though you don't expect him to reciprocate?

    Would it be safe to Come Out to him and admit your feelings for him? Your status shows that you are not out at all, so do you trust him to keep your secret, regardless of whether or not he returns your feelings?

    Just some thoughts.
     
  4. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    Thanks for the advice. I think the reason I feel that way is because I've felt this way about him for so long and it's eating me from the inside out, it's like there is a weight on my chest thats been there so long that I've gotten used to it even though it's still crushing me and I want to literally get it off my chest.
     
  5. Quantumreality

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    Hey GravityHurts,

    That's totally understandable. You feel compelled to tell him so that you can have some closure, knowing that he (most likely) doesn't return your romantic feelings, and then you can finally start to get over him.

    Just go into this having considered if you feel it is safe to basically Come Out to him and tell him about your feelings for him all at once. Plus, as I said before, are you confident that he will keep your secret? Or don't you care if it gets out around your school at this point?
     
    #5 Quantumreality, May 25, 2017
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  6. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    Thanks for the advice Quantumreality. I'm going to direct message him this weekend if I can work up the courage, I've already missed so many chances to tell him and I think it's time that I do it.
     
  7. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    I just can't work up the courage to message him. Every time I try I just chicken out. Maybe I could start the conversation with something else and work the conversation into it. Does anyone have any advice?p
     
  8. Quantumreality

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    Hey GravityHurts,

    Do you think that might mean that you really aren't as ready to tell him as you thought?

    What, if anything, do you normally talk to him about? If you haven't talked in a while, perhaps you could just begin by telling him you were just wondering how he's doing? If you have a hobby in common, maybe you could start talking about that as the reason you are DMing him. Maybe something along those lines could be a conversation starter and at some point you could tell him that another reason you wanted to DM him was to tell him how you feel about him...
     
  9. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    Earlier today I drove by him on the way to the store, I'm going to use that as a way to srtart the conversation.
     
  10. Quantumreality

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    Cool. Let us know how it goes.
     
  11. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    I'm so mad at myself, I just don't have the guts to talk to him. Maybe I'll wait till the end of the school year to tell him because then it wouldn't be awkward because I probably won't ever see him again. But for the same reason I want to tell him before there is no chance at all that anything could happen between us.
     
  12. Quantumreality

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    Or maybe you should just forget him and move on.

    Just a thought.
     
  13. jdrhys

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    Which would feel better to you: Letting it drop and not following your instincts, or taking the bull by the horns and following through right away (taking a leap of faith)? Of course you can't know how he'll react, but then again, if you follow through, you WILL! The alternative is to always wonder whether you missed an important opportunity or not. But please do think on what QuantumReality asked you: Can you trust him to keep your secret? Or are you ready to start coming out one person at a time? Well, best wishes to you! Please do keep us posted!
     
  14. loveunrequited

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    I have found myself in this situation on multiple occasions, and I found it increasingly helpful to make friends with the person first. See where their mind is then if you both are in a place where you feel comfortable, then share how you feel. They might just feel the same way.
     
  15. GravityHurts

    GravityHurts Guest

    Thanks everyone for all the feedback I think I need some time to think about it. I don't want to just forget about it, I want to either tell him before the school year ends or after it ends. School ends in 17 days so I have to make up my mind.
     
    #15 GravityHurts, May 30, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2017