Gender spectrum is confusing ><

[Anonymous]

I am biologically female.

I consider myself almost having no gender at the moment. I've always wished I had smaller breasts. I still like having female anatomy 'down there' but I kind've wish I didn't have 'curves/a booty/medium boobs.

Not necessarily fully a guy but not overly female either. I don't know. It's rather confusing for me. I love wearing casual things such as jeans, tshirts, hoodies, jackets, skate shoes etc and I hate wearing dresses-as in I told my mom I was wearing jeans to my wedding when I was 10 I love them so much.

I wear eyeliner and mascara on occasion and carry a wallet. I also love the feel of guy jeans yet I know that is a big "no no" with my mom, so I always dress a bit more feminine than I'm comfortable with when I visit her and the rest of the family. And this is for her so she doesn't freak out and think I want a sex change. And yes she has asked.

I don't think I would ever want a male genetalia 'for keeps' but I have used a strap on before and that was an interesting situation but I know I am happy with my female genitalia for now.



And this is why I'm posting in the anonymous section...

IIEEEK, so confusing at the moment.

[Mirko]

Hi there! Although you might feel confused and unsure as to what your feelings are telling you, you are doing the right thing, in that you are exploring your sexuality and trying to figure it all out. Becoming comfortable with yourself can be at times difficult and overwhelming but talking about it and writing it all out, can help.

If you read over what you have written out, you will come one step closer to figuring things out. Keep wearing casual things and doing the things that let you with the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. By exploring all of the facets of your sexuality and what feels comfortable for you, you will figure it out.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with being happy being a girl and liking guy things. Also, everyone has parts of their body that they don't like or would like to change. If you're looking for advice I would say do what makes you happy and forget about trying to label yourself.

[rachob1]

“I am biologically female.”

So am I

“Not necessarily fully a guy but not overly female either. I don't know. It's rather confusing for me. I love wearing casual things such as jeans, tshirts, hoodies, jackets, skate shoes etc and I hate wearing dresses-as in I told my mom I was wearing jeans to my wedding when I was 10 I love them so much.

I wear eyeliner and mascara on occasion and carry a wallet. I also love the feel of guy jeans yet I know that is a big "no no" with my mom, so I always dress a bit more feminine than I'm comfortable with when I visit her and the rest of the family.“

I can relate to this. I don't possess a dress or skirt and the outfits I feel most comfortable in are men's. I regularly wear a shirt and tie to work and if I want to look smart the shirt and tie are accompanied by suit pants a a waist coat. I always carry a wallet, in fact the one I'm using at the moment is a black leather one with intertwined embossed Venus symbols on it (my xmas present from my dad.) I rarely wear makeup, if I do it's to make me look older more than to define a gender, as despite being 31 I do look a lot younger (I still get pulled up by the school truancy officer in the shopping centre near where I work)

As for dressing more feminine for your Mom/family, why? Dress how you want to dress, if your dresses how you are comfortable your more likely to relax in their company, and when they, your family see how much more relaxed you are, they will see it as a good thing.

“And this is for her so she doesn't freak out and think I want a sex change. And yes she has asked. “

And how did you respond to being asked. When my Mum asked me if I felt I should be a man, I took advantage of the situation and explained that I love having a woman's body I tend to be quite androgynous in my appearance meaning that I don't like to be limited or defined by my wardrobe and that I'm more comfortable in male clothes (with the odd “girly” t-shirt). My mum chose to see this as me wanting to dress as a “butch dyke,” typical stereotypical images I guess, but I explained to her that the only label I apply to my appearance is Me, I am me. She's cool with it now and when we go on shopping expeditions now she bat's more of an eyelash if we start in the women's sections of the store than the men's. Even family members have grown used to my image and I'm now included in socks and boxers part of the Xmas presents lists rather than the knickers and toiletries.

“I don't think I would ever want a male genetalia 'for keeps' but I have used a strap on before and that was an interesting situation but I know I am happy with my female genitalia for now.“

I'm quite happy with my body too, and happily admit to owning a strap on, but I also own a packer (also known as a softy) and a she-wee. I like to play with my identity, don't get me wrong I in no way have have any issues with my gender, but I sometimes find it fun to play at being a guy in every sense including feeling/seeing a bulge in my pants and peeing standing up. There's no harm in gender play, and for some people it helps them define who they are.

So I guess what I'm saying is be whoever and whatever you wake up as in the morning. Don't rule anything out or in and don't let anyone else but you define who you are but you. Don't label yourself as anything you don't want to, just define yourself as Me, with your own sense of style, body image, gender and sexuality. Own it and be proud of it and those around you with learn to accept it.

Rach

[Anonymous]

It's me, the person who made the thread.

Thanks to everyone for the replies. And Rach, I thank you for your honest and informative post. I love EC.