Do I take the job or the possible relationship of a lifetime?

[Sesshomaru]

I'm facing probably one of the hardest decisions of my life and I need some sort of feedback from it. There's a bit of a background to be able to full understand every so bear with me, I'll try to keep it short.

There's this guy I met a few months ago, let's call him George, and we talked and he seems like a great guy. We hit it off well and everything was fine. Then he told me about an issue where he would soon be leaving the country and we sorta both felt it'd be in our best interest not to pursue anything further than being friends. As much of a bummer as it was, we didn't. Well that time came and went and he ended up being able to stay.

We began talking again and everything seemed to be moving along nicely. While we were recently talking I mentioned that I was currently looking for work and he told me he knew of somewhere that he could get me started working at. We decided to meet and talk about it and we did. Turns out with me being good with numbers/math the job would be right up my alley and the pay is AMAZING. Everything sounds good right? Wrong. The job he was offering me meant that he would basically be my boss. He also made it clear that if I were to take the job and we become co-workers that there's no chance whatsoever of us doing anything at all together outside of a professional level because he would prefer to keep those two aspects of his life seperate and well it's the right thing to do. He told me this during the middle of the job conversation and idk how to exactly describe the feeling but it's almost as if I felt the worst gut pain I've ever experienced. It felt like my heart fell into my stomach and was then being ripped out and it sucks.

I start college soon in March and it seems to get the most out of the job I'd need to be working full time. That's the good/bad for the job. While we were leaving from where we met I brought up being bummed about not being able to see where things went with us and it seemed like he was pushing me towards the job but more in the whole "Overly excited to the point where it felt like he wanted me to choose the other option" sort of way. The feeling with my stomach is still lingering even now.

Well there's my dilemma. I'm leaning more towards turning down the job offer since it seems the relationship, if it turns out we like each other as much now as we do in a romantic aspect, would be a lot more worthwhile. I start school soon regardless which means I wouldn't be able to work full time and he seems like a really great guy. I mean he even went out of his way to randomly text me a few days ago just to check up on me and see how I was doing even though he was having a bad cold with a high temperature. I've done the whole "casual dating" thing a few times now and no one I've ever messed around with has ever been that kind to me.

Any feedback on this is greatly appreciated

[Zontar]

Unique situation. If the pay's really that amazing, I would suggest you take the job. You'll have an opportunity to separate amicably and there'll always be someone else on the market for you.

However, I would sooner consider the impact taking the job has on your college education instead of your relationship. If the job fails, you'll be at a considerable disadvantage. Education is important as well, especially in a science or mathematics field that you seem to be entering into.

my advice is not to take the job. no matter if things work out with you and this guy or not, it's an uncomfortable situaiton for you to be in because:

1. if you take the job he is basically going to be your manager and he already said there will be no more communication outside of work.

2. if you take the job and he cuts communication off, it's going to be odd working with him because you really like him and also he has power over your work duties so that is a weird set up to like someone that is also responsible for your work situation and potentially reprimanding you if he feels you are not up to par.

3. although all communication will be cut off, your emotions will not be cut off and it will cause too much drama at work.

find somewhere else to work where he doesn't.

[Sesshomaru]

Thanks for the suggestions both of you. I don't think I'm going to take the job. We wouldn't be working in an office together or anything since it's mostly a job of meeting clients and going from there but for me to do that without having a car my friend offered to take me anywhere I needed to go since he'd be the person bringing me in and knows me. Either way, it'd still be a bit much always being around him like insidehappy mentioned and not being able to act on my feelings even the slightest.

Perhaps after college would give me a chance to try the job and at least by then I'll see if we have a shot together or not.

[Chip]

I'm going to disagree.

Given the current economy, particularly in California, I'd take the job. I think if both of you are professional about it, you can pretty easily make the change from crush/infatuation with each other to friends and business professionals. And there are just so many people that would *kill* for a great job opportunity... people that have been looking for a year or two or more... it just seems unwise to turn down a great opportunity.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, and lots of things can happen. Maybe he gets promoted and is no longer your boss. Maybe you get promoted and no longer work under him. Maybe you find someone even more wonderful!

The point is, you haven't even been in a relationship with the guy, and you're 18, so it's not like you're giving up anything more than potential.

I have a strong feeling if you turn down the job, you're going to be kicking yourself really hard in 3 or 6 months.