Did anyone else go through this in elementary/high school?

[pace e amore]

I remember back in high school I had almost no friends. I literally only had 3 actual friends, 2 of which I still speak to whenever I can. The other one is gone and that's all I'm saying. But I had another friend who would be really nice to me whenever we were alone but whenever anyone else was around he would be a total dick to me, making homophobic comments about me and everything. I wasn't out then and that's what pretty much kept me in the closet until I dropped out. (I got my ged later and now i'm in college so it all worked out okay). Do you think he may have been closeted too or was he just okay with me being (at the time possibly) gay and wanted to seem tough in front of his friends?

[stumble along]

yeah that happened to me and it happened to two friends i sat in front of last semester.
i think both situations it was just them trying to seem tough.
but you will ever know for sure so might as well forget about it.

[J Snow]

Well, when I was in high school words like "fag" were thrown around so casually its hard to say if I was really being harassed for acting gay or if it had nothing to do with my perceived sexual orientation and gender conformity. I was at Catholic school so I think I was pretty closeted even to myself.

Well, I was on the wrestling team my freshman and sophomore year, and I was pretty terrible. I had a friend who had been good friends with me for at least 5 years or so, though we had known each other since kindergarten. Well, I got picked on all the time by the team, and he was a total dick to me around them, but outside of it he was real cool.

See, my friend is a complete blender. At least back then he was. He just blended in with whatever ideas were most popular, trying to impress the masses. Well, whenever he gets drunk he does "questionable things." For example, last time I drank with him, he took off shirt, attempted to cuddle with me, and kissed me on the cheek while I wasn't paying attention all in one night.

My speculation is he was trying to get a rise out of the other guys, but I do think its possible he could be hiding some curiousity. He does have a gf, but she's long distance, unattractive according to every straight guy I've known to meet her, and kind of seems to be obnoxious...

[Just Adam]

I had couple friends at school. See none of them now.

Once asked one if i was gay how would he react. He said we wouldnt be friends anymore. Yea dont see that guy now.

[Holmes]

I spent most of my time in primary school at breaks on my own. Made some friends in sixth class, the last year, but none that I stayed in touch with after we all moved schools. And then in secondary school, 12–18, it took me a good while to make close friends. Only twice did I visit any of them in my house in that time, and never did I have them over. Still get on with them when I see them, but rarely initiate contact, since I came to college. The friends I have now since starting college, and more that I've met year on year there or elsewhere, are friends that I'll keep for life.

[Bedroom Hymns]

What do you consider a friend, though?

[Fugs]

Yeah, life in school sucked. Wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't afraid of what they would do to me. No friends, just a lot of people that hated me for no reason.

yes this happened to me. in junior high i guess kids thought i was gay or made reference to this. at the start of 8th grade i had a lot of guy friends but slowly but surely they all started to distance theirselves away from me. i wasn't doing anything, i did not have any gay friends (that i knew of) and i wasn't even fooling around or messing aroiund with any other people (guys or girls) at that age. so slowly but surely all of my "friends" stopped hanging around me and i had to each lunch alone because they would no longer eat with me. one day one of my "friends" told me that people thought i was gay and i should do more "guy stuff" and that's why people weren't hanging around me anymore. i felt crushed inside and wanted to hid in a hole. the "friends" never really came back. in high school i had a few friends but they were misfit and outcasts too. i often ate alone or with the nerd group because they would accept me. i was not effeminate in my opinion but i was a good student and that was often negative for the other kids. i went to college and left all of them behind and made knew friends. many of which i still stay in touch with now. many of the old high school people that used to talk about me now have tried to add me on facebook. i am not interested in keeping in connection with them.

i think the person you are talking about could have been gay or just could have been a high school kid that did not want to be associated with possibly being gay because he was straight and maybe you were giving off gay vibes that other kids picked up on and he did not want the association. who knows. but the main thing is, anyone that would be nice to you behind closed doors and then be a total butthole in front of others is not your friend and you should dump them.

finally, as you start to get to know more gay men, you will see many are masculine and many are ones that remind you in high school of the same type of guys that used to bully you or hate you. so i'm not saying this guy in particular is gay, but there are guys that later turn out to be gay you would not have expected it.

[malachite]

it's possible he was, or he just might have cared too much what other people thought. If they were called you stuff behind your back then he would join in. At least then HE wouldn't get the brunt of the jokes.