Disturbing thoughts.

[Charni]

Lately I have been having strange thoughts about dying. Like just then I was putting the dishes away and I held a knife and I thought to myself how easily it would be to kill myself or somebody with it. It is usually death and ways me or other people could get killed by me in various ways. Am I mentally ill? I have severe ADHD and very mild asperges.

[stumble along]

It would be kind of hard to judge because people do have strange thouhts all the time, thoughvi would say if they are ocurring a lot or I might be a little suspicious

[Zontar]

If it's just random intrusive thoughts that are meaningless save for the amount of time you spend worrying about them, that's a classic manifestation of OCD.

[b0i70y]

Some people, especially those with overactive imaginations, tend to think about death a lot around their mid to late teens. I had a few friends, ones who spent a lot of time in their heads, who had some homicidal and suicidal thoughts and came to me for advice. I told them the same thing I'm about to tell you:

Thinking it is fine - plenty of teenagers go through a kind of... dark phase, I guess. Don't worry about it too much.

Just don't act on them. ^^

[Charni]

Oh I would never kill somebody. There are also thoughts about breaking things. I really hate the thoughts.

[b0i70y]

Originally Posted by Charni

Oh I would never kill somebody. There are also thoughts about breaking things. I really hate the thoughts.

Don't worry about it. They'll go away with time. Granted, people tend to break things sometimes when they get angry, and that's normal.

But you're not psychotic or anything.

[steel03]

Happens to me all the time, classic OCD.

[-Michael-]

I think everyone does this.

[Charni]

The scary thing is I'm a pacifist so I am against what I'm thinking. I'm glad I'm not a mass murderor in the making.

[Hexagon]

I get that. Just thinking about it... wondering how it would feel to fall off a building. Its not like I'm particularly concerned about it, or even sad, when I'm thinking about it. But its weird and disturbing. Before when I thought about dying, it would always be when I was massively depressed.

[Ace17]

I use to think about how easy it would be to harm myself with any sharp object...I use to hurt myself but I strongly discourage it, it is not fun to explain scars to people....Its probably bad to think and act on these thoughts....Idk what to do with it myself, if you find an answer let me know....

[stilllovelyafte]

Everyone has unwanted thoughts - most people are able to just shake them off or move on from them. Try and do the same? I often harp on unwanted thoughts and think my inability to control them means there is something wrong with me. There isn't! Just cut yourself some slack, take a few deep breaths, and allow yourself to move on to the next happy thought.

[coastgirl]

Hey I have problems with this occasionally. It just has to do with anxiety and OCD. You can have intrusive thoughts but it does NOT mean you're going to act on them. I know how scary it can be though to have those thoughts.

There's a line you can tell yourself: "It's not me, it's my OCD." I used that to calm myself down when I get stressed out over that stuff. And just knowing that others do have this issue (actually many more than you're probably aware since nobody talks about it) can help too.

Actually I've never even been diagnosed with OCD officially, but I know I have a minor case of it that rears its head depending on how much anxiety I'm feeling or what's going on in my life.

[Mogenar]

It seems that we have very similar situations, Charni. I too have ADHD and Asperger's and sometimes have.. rather violent thoughts. Or, more accurately speaking, gory. Perhaps it's simply playing too many shooter games for me, but still. I share your feelings. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not psychotic. Maybe your brain is just really bored like mine. I started writing more, and the thoughts started to appear less and less for me. So maybe you should just try something new.

[stilllovelyafte]

Coastgirl - that's really helpful. It probably seems obvious and simple to many, but to people like us who deal with OCD or its related brethren, it's very helpful. It took me a long time to realize I suffered from this. I always just assumed that the reason I was obsessing or anxious was because I was repressing my sexuality. I never got around to realizing I was dealing with two distinct issues. Now I am working on both - I am exploring my sexuality and also getting some treatment for OCD.