Out for Good - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

adamhm · 20th Jan 2012, 11:46 AM

I came out ( was outed ) a couple years ago and really had a tough time recovering and getting my bearings. I made a decision to get back out there and just live my life and come out to whom I chose and on my own terms. I felt like I had made pretty good progress and was growing more comfortable in my identity as a gay Christian man. I discovered that there are people who , not only know, but are willing and ready to finish the job for you. I dont have an affirming church in the area to attend , so , I found one that was , at least, civil, and put my roots down, so to speak. I began getting involbed in the music leadership and even teaching /preaching the wednesday night bible studies. I stopped volunteering due to another conflict in the church that could not be resolved, and all of a sudden there came a sudden interest in my sexuality all over again. I had people on twitter, facebook and on my phone trying to find out anything they could about me to throw up in my face. One person went to someone whose comment I simply clicked "like" on and took to the strategy of asking about whether or not I agree with THIS....all these gay people! While I realize that being in an affirming environment is important, it is difficult to find a safe affirming place to worship for someone with a pentecostal/charismatic background in this area. After standing up to the persons involved, I embraced, affirmed myself and promptly blocked these people. They will make life for me tough in this small town. Im thinking I made things more difficult on myself by not just getting myself out of a non-affirming environment and into an even more difficult pain..later. Whats done is done... Im out...all the way out! Here is the thing.... I dont know of any affirming pentecostal/charismatic churches in the area and I am pretty much done with going to church anywhere until I find one! Has anyone else had this experience in dealing with other pentecostal churches? Is moving the answer? How do I deal with this if I dont move away right away?

Ianthe · 20th Jan 2012, 01:03 PM

If there is nothing in your area, you can always try to organize something yourself. See if there is anyone from the church you left that would be interested in worshiping with you, and advertise in local media for LGBT affirming Pentecostal Charismatic Christians to meet at a certain time and place--even your own house, or anywhere you can think of at first. As your group (congregation) grows, you can think about collecting dues and arranging for regular space, and perhaps hiring a minister.

Don't assume that everyone in your old church necessarily agrees that you should be excluded just because they didn't stand up and do anything. Sometimes, people just don't know what to do. If you had any particular friends there, you might want to contact them first.

(You complain that there are no churches like you are looking for in your area; but such things do not just appear out of the air. Someone has to organize them.)

Good luck!

adamhm · 20th Jan 2012, 01:06 PM

Wow! Thank you for your honesty! I needed that!

adamhm · 20th Jan 2012, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamhm

Wow! Thank you for your honesty! I needed that!

Youre precisely right!!!

20th Jan 2012, 11:46 AM	#1
adamhm Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Posts: 3 Join Date: Jan 2012	Out for Good I came out ( was outed ) a couple years ago and really had a tough time recovering and getting my bearings. I made a decision to get back out there and just live my life and come out to whom I chose and on my own terms. I felt like I had made pretty good progress and was growing more comfortable in my identity as a gay Christian man. I discovered that there are people who , not only know, but are willing and ready to finish the job for you. I dont have an affirming church in the area to attend , so , I found one that was , at least, civil, and put my roots down, so to speak. I began getting involbed in the music leadership and even teaching /preaching the wednesday night bible studies. I stopped volunteering due to another conflict in the church that could not be resolved, and all of a sudden there came a sudden interest in my sexuality all over again. I had people on twitter, facebook and on my phone trying to find out anything they could about me to throw up in my face. One person went to someone whose comment I simply clicked "like" on and took to the strategy of asking about whether or not I agree with THIS....all these gay people! While I realize that being in an affirming environment is important, it is difficult to find a safe affirming place to worship for someone with a pentecostal/charismatic background in this area. After standing up to the persons involved, I embraced, affirmed myself and promptly blocked these people. They will make life for me tough in this small town. Im thinking I made things more difficult on myself by not just getting myself out of a non-affirming environment and into an even more difficult pain..later. Whats done is done... Im out...all the way out! Here is the thing.... I dont know of any affirming pentecostal/charismatic churches in the area and I am pretty much done with going to church anywhere until I find one! Has anyone else had this experience in dealing with other pentecostal churches? Is moving the answer? How do I deal with this if I dont move away right away?

20th Jan 2012, 01:03 PM	#2
Ianthe EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female/Femme Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon Age: 32 Posts: 1,085 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: Out for Good If there is nothing in your area, you can always try to organize something yourself. See if there is anyone from the church you left that would be interested in worshiping with you, and advertise in local media for LGBT affirming Pentecostal Charismatic Christians to meet at a certain time and place--even your own house, or anywhere you can think of at first. As your group (congregation) grows, you can think about collecting dues and arranging for regular space, and perhaps hiring a minister. Don't assume that everyone in your old church necessarily agrees that you should be excluded just because they didn't stand up and do anything. Sometimes, people just don't know what to do. If you had any particular friends there, you might want to contact them first. (You complain that there are no churches like you are looking for in your area; but such things do not just appear out of the air. Someone has to organize them.) Good luck!

20th Jan 2012, 01:06 PM	#3
adamhm Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Posts: 3 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Out for Good Wow! Thank you for your honesty! I needed that!