Is it just me that doesn't feel the urge to come out?

[Aareon]

Well, a while back I identified as lesbian, mainly because at that time I had a crush on a girl. Never considered the possibility of getting with another, man or women. I guess since then my feelings have faded for her and I've found out that I wasn't just attracted to females, males too.
Before I found out I was pansexual I told my parents that I was lesbian. Well I suppose I wasn't thinking properly on that day. I didn't think of their reactions and how they might take it. Once my dad offered to go to Sydney Mardi Gras while we were out at Darlinghurst and I didn't want to go because I was tired. I wasn't attracted to anyone back then so I wouldn't have been questioning myself. So I thought he was pretty cool with gays anyway.
Well we had a 3 hour talk was just them asking me how I feel about liking girls and then combating it with something like "It's just a phase" or "I was like that with my friends". In the end I couldn't be bothered to fight them off anymore. After all, I was 14 (or well I still am) and I need them to still support me finanically so I just said that "I'll just wait and let myself be attracted to who I am attracted to regardless of gender". We left it there since it was 1am in the morning and we needed sleep.
Since then I never felt the need to tell my parents anything about who I'm attracted to and my sexuality. Anyway they expect me to never have a girlfriend/boyfriend until I finish uni so I won't be flaunting my partner around if I ever found one.
I also find that I don't really need to tell anyone else for that matter but if they ask I don't mind telling. Although no one really needs to know who I find attractive. I'm comfortable with who I am without the whole coming out process.
Is anyone out here like this too? And what do you think about how I don't find it important to tell people?

[Robert]

I used to feel this way when I was in the final stages of denial.

[shfh]

I don't think there is a right time that works for everyone. I think that when you are ready to come out then you can if you want. From the other wise minds of people at EC, they have suggested that we dont have to rush to label ourselves and come out. (I mean, I guess straight people don't have to announce it to the world that they have finally started feeling attraction towards the opposite gender)

For me, I wanted to start coming out to close friends and family, and is in the process of gradually coming out to more and more friends (minus my parents) because I just got so tired of hiding and being so careful about how I acted around people.

---------- Post added 20th Jan 2012 at 10:05 PM ----------

I don't think there is a right time that works for everyone. I think that when you are ready to come out then you can if you want. From the other wise minds of people at EC, they have suggested that we dont have to rush to label ourselves and come out. (I mean, I guess straight people don't have to announce it to the world that they have finally started feeling attraction towards the opposite gender)

For me, I wanted to start coming out to close friends and family, and is in the process of gradually coming out to more and more friends (minus my parents) because I just got so tired of hiding and being so careful about how I acted around people.

Good luck

[Ianthe]

Originally Posted by Aareon

Well, a while back I identified as lesbian, mainly because at that time I had a crush on a girl. Never considered the possibility of getting with another, man or women. I guess since then my feelings have faded for her and I've found out that I wasn't just attracted to females, males too.
Before I found out I was pansexual I told my parents that I was lesbian. Well I suppose I wasn't thinking properly on that day. I didn't think of their reactions and how they might take it. Once my dad offered to go to Sydney Mardi Gras while we were out at Darlinghurst and I didn't want to go because I was tired. I wasn't attracted to anyone back then so I wouldn't have been questioning myself. So I thought he was pretty cool with gays anyway.
Well we had a 3 hour talk was just them asking me how I feel about liking girls and then combating it with something like "It's just a phase" or "I was like that with my friends". In the end I couldn't be bothered to fight them off anymore. After all, I was 14 (or well I still am) and I need them to still support me finanically so I just said that "I'll just wait and let myself be attracted to who I am attracted to regardless of gender". We left it there since it was 1am in the morning and we needed sleep.
Since then I never felt the need to tell my parents anything about who I'm attracted to and my sexuality. Anyway they expect me to never have a girlfriend/boyfriend until I finish uni so I won't be flaunting my partner around if I ever found one.
I also find that I don't really need to tell anyone else for that matter but if they ask I don't mind telling. Although no one really needs to know who I find attractive. I'm comfortable with who I am without the whole coming out process.
Is anyone out here like this too? And what do you think about how I don't find it important to tell people?

Isn't this pretty close to the definition of pansexual? Maybe you don't feel like you need to tell them, because you already told them.

[AloneOutHere]

i kinda feel that way.. i don't understand whygay people have to go around letting everyone know they're gay, i mean hetero people don't have to yell "i'm straight!" to the world. but if someone asks, i guess i don't see the harm (once im ouy that is..)

my opinion is confusing sorry

[Chouchou]

You don't have to "come out" in the traditional sense of the term; it's not as if it's a requirement for you to go out of your way to tell others your sexual orientation, or to "flaunt" your partner. What you've chosen to do and are doing right now--living openly, and not hiding anything--is perfectly fine. It's just that "coming out" implied having once hidden and/or lied about one's feelings and attractions and then telling the truth. The most important person to come out to is yourself, and since that's already happened, what happens afterwards is your business only.

i feel like one pair of shoes can't possibly fit everyone. if you wanna come out, come out, if you dont feel the need to, dont. do whatever works best for you, your life, and your situation. anyone telling you to "come out' without truly understanding what that means for you and your situations is not giving good balanced advice.

[needshelp]

i feel the same way right here even though coming out would probably give me the freedom i need. however, i feel i haven't earned that freedom yet since i don't have a career job, still living with my parents @ 25, and still have a lot of growing up to do. with that said, i'm not ready to come out.

[Colton]

Well personally, I don't feel like it's necessary that people know, so I'm not just going to up to my friends and say "I'm gay!!" There really is no point to shout it out to the universe. It's not anybody's buisness. However, I am comfortable with myself that if they ask me I will tell them.

[Kcaz12345]

I was in that situation once but once I got a bf and found out it was real and true and that we had kissed they finally believed me yay but I still question weather or not I'm gay or bi because I kno I like guys a lot more than girls no offense. But yea just try and let it go in till you find someone that's a girl that you really like and then crush your parents by kissing her right in front of their faces and they will then believe you . But I can tell that you dont wanna b dissowned so just take it slow for now I kno it will be hard it was for me anyways

[mAOz]

You don't need to come out if you don't want, some people just feel that some people deserve to know that about them