trans and started therapy

[phoenix42]

so, a little update: I'm out to both my parents and have finally had my first therapy appointment. During my first session it was much more me just talking than the therapist really saying much. I told him that I was looking to begin transition sooner rather than later after explaining how i've felt as though I've been living a lie and for as long as I can remember thinking that I was female trapped in a body that didn't match that.

As the session came to a close he ended up saying that he wanted us both to research the availability of transgender transition programs around me. I'm still unsure as to what he really meant. He also suggested that psychological testing to confirm an identity disorder would probably be a part of the transition which I really don't have a problem with. The one thing that he said that worried me was that he seemed to think I would have to come out and dress publically as a female before hormones. That is something that I don't think I would be able to do and I told him that. "The reason for transitioning is not to look like a man in a dress it is so that my body matches how I feel inside, how I've always felt inside." Is exactly what I said. The thought of going out publicly as I look now but in feminine clothing would not do anything to reduce my depression or to reduce my anxiety about transition. I told him that if things were to go like that transition would (in the beginning) make thing MUCH worse before they got better. It wouldn't be logical or beneficial.

Ok, so now that that rant is done, I was hoping someone could suggest somewhere I could find a program that would allow me tostart transitioning or at the very least help me understand what he's asking me to look for.

Thanks!!! And I apologize for being absent for awhile, Things have been kinda hectic

[Marlowe]

I don't really know much about the ins and outs of transitioning, but I just wanted to say congratulations that you have taken this first step.

[SweetGirl28]

Well, if I were you, I'd look up the Tom Waddell Standards of Care and download and print out a copy of it for your therapist. Avoid the Harry Benjamin Standards and WPATH like the plague if at all possible. Go to a search engine and look up transgender support groups and gender counselors and therapists in your area, that helps too.

[DhammaGamer]

I don't think there is anything wrong with the WPATH SoC. My opinion.

It's so awesome to hear that you've started talking to someone. That's a huge step. In regards to him thinking you should be en femme before hrt, I have to say it has some weight to it. Although I am not on hormones yet, I've been actively trying to be more public about my gender very slowly over the last 3 or 4 months. Things like wearing a pair of jeans and some eyeliner aren't going to throw anyone off super bad.

Truthfully you may get a few weird looks, but who cares. It's a good idea to get used to things so that you know you have the fortitude necessary to take the dive. Don't rush things, but learn to be comfortable with who you are, and develop a new style that suits the fact that you are not a man and don't wish to be viewed as one any longer. Rebel!

I totally get the hesitation though. I get really insecure sometimes about my hair and about my height and whatnot. I mean, I am still obviously a guy. But, whatever. When I look in the mirror and see even a tiny bit of change, it makes me feel confident and pretty and ME. So be brave. Jump in with arms wide open. If people discriminate or put you down, turn to the support you have here or in your community. There is no reason that you should feel ashamed of who you are.

Congratulations on moving forward. I hope it feels good.

[phoenix42]

ok, i'll try to respond as best i can and in order

Marlowe: Thank you, it was tough but something important that needed to be done so it feels GREAT to have that massive weight off my back though there is a new weight that is almost as daunting.

SweetGirl28: I will definitely have to do that!!! Reading them will help me better understand everything myself as well as give my therapist an idea of what I know and hopefully something we can base stuff off of. I'm already seeing a counselor at school and have my therapist appointments periodically (it's tough because he's back home which is a two hour drive so that's why I have the counselor here )

Dhamma: I'm just not at all comfortable going out as I am but en femme. It would feel odd. I mean, I am growing my hair out already (still not long but eventually it will be since my hair grows quick) and I was going to start doing some things but full fem is not something im at all ready for mentally or physically especially at school.

now an update: My therapist just called me with information regarding a Dr. Kraft from Johns Hopkins who deals with identity disorders and said that gender identity is something his department does deal with frequently. I'm going to call tomorrow and get information about the program to see if it is something I would benefit from but I'm almost certain i will considering the psychological testing he offers would go a long way in helping with my transition especially with my parents accepting it. (my dad is a strict "don't argue with doctors" guy, mom too). ok, well that's it for now.

Thank you ALL SOOOOOO MUCH for your help!!!!!!!!!!

[phoenix42]

Ok, well depressing news about the consultation that was recommended by my therapist. It is essentially to confirm a diagnosis of G.I.D so that i can continue therapy and eventually begin transition if the diagnosis is that I do in fact have Gender identity disorder. The problem, it is an expensive consultation that my insurance wont cover.

I was wondering if anyone who had already begun transition or was near the process whould know if a thing like this was required. I understand transition is expensive but I'd like to limit any and all non-required expense as I still have college and car bills to pay.What it was described to be as is a 4 hour appointment in which they talk to my parents and myself about my childhood and life. This is from the clinic in john's hopkins. If it is something I should do I will have to save up and get it done, i'm not really against it as I think it couldbe beneficial. The problem is that a beneficial thing is not really worth that price unless it is also something that I need. I mean, I feel like I could probably get this done elsewhere and get the insurance to cover it. just my thoughts. does anyone have any experience with this?

[J Snow]

Originally Posted by phoenix42

Ok, well depressing news about the consultation that was recommended by my therapist. It is essentially to confirm a diagnosis of G.I.D so that i can continue therapy and eventually begin transition if the diagnosis is that I do in fact have Gender identity disorder. The problem, it is an expensive consultation that my insurance wont cover.

I was wondering if anyone who had already begun transition or was near the process whould know if a thing like this was required. I understand transition is expensive but I'd like to limit any and all non-required expense as I still have college and car bills to pay.What it was described to be as is a 4 hour appointment in which they talk to my parents and myself about my childhood and life. This is from the clinic in john's hopkins. If it is something I should do I will have to save up and get it done, i'm not really against it as I think it couldbe beneficial. The problem is that a beneficial thing is not really worth that price unless it is also something that I need. I mean, I feel like I could probably get this done elsewhere and get the insurance to cover it. just my thoughts. does anyone have any experience with this?

I don't have an answer to your question, but I'm kind of confused as well. I've been in therapy too with a liscenced psychologist, and in my last session she said that I DO have gender identity dysphoria (I can't recall if she actually used the word disorder, but I'm pretty sure she said GID). But I don't know if that means I was really "diagnosed for it." Or for that matter if she's even qualified to do that. She isn't really a "gender" therapist after all. I'm kind of afraid to ask her if that's what she meant too...

Sorry I'm posting with kind of questions of my own, but I too would like some information on how exactly one would get diagnosed for something like that. Perhaps I should know already being a psychology major, but I was under the impression that mostly psychiatrists diagnosed disorders. Or at least that you needed a Ph.D in psychology as opposed to a Master's (I have no idea what degree my therapist has)

[DhammaGamer]

That is gate-keeping. Such confirmation IS NOT REQUIRED in order to transition. I would suggest looking for a new therapist. If you do get this "confirmation" of GID, which is really just them telling you what you already know, then there is a good chance that your insurance will no longer pay for the therapy you are already receiving since gender therapy is not covered by US health insurance.

Get a new therapist, hon. One who has dealt with the LGBT community before and is not trying to "diagnose" anything. Your therapist is there to help you with the emotional and social aspects of transitioning, and to support you through the process of changing sexes. She is not there to tell you whether or not you are transsexual and she is not there to prevent you from receiving the treatment you deserve.

Get ahold of your local LGBT center and request information for therapists who have experience dealing with transitioning women.

[phoenix42]

how do you find a local lgbt center? I looked but nothing pops up around my college or home. (both are in the middle of nowhere really). I only found this therapist from checking my insurance website to see who around me they would cover.

[malachite]

It's great that you're out, and awsome your talking to someone.

Hope it all goes well for you

[DhammaGamer]

hmm I did some research myself and it doesn't look like there are any centers near your area, unless you're able to get in to phili. In that case, look at the list of therpists available to your insurance, and contact another one of them and use the advice from tsroadmap for making sure they are eligible to assist you.

Choosing a gender therapist

Keep in mind as well that the therapists your insurance has listed may not be allinclusive. Try contacting therapists in your area and ask them if they are in your insurance network.

[person54]

Originally Posted by phoenix42

Ok, well depressing news about the consultation that was recommended by my therapist. It is essentially to confirm a diagnosis of G.I.D so that i can continue therapy and eventually begin transition if the diagnosis is that I do in fact have Gender identity disorder. The problem, it is an expensive consultation that my insurance wont cover.

I was wondering if anyone who had already begun transition or was near the process whould know if a thing like this was required. I understand transition is expensive but I'd like to limit any and all non-required expense as I still have college and car bills to pay.What it was described to be as is a 4 hour appointment in which they talk to my parents and myself about my childhood and life. This is from the clinic in john's hopkins. If it is something I should do I will have to save up and get it done, i'm not really against it as I think it couldbe beneficial. The problem is that a beneficial thing is not really worth that price unless it is also something that I need. I mean, I feel like I could probably get this done elsewhere and get the insurance to cover it. just my thoughts. does anyone have any experience with this?

I'm still in counseling and in the process of transitioning but I was in counseling for a few months with a therapist that had experience working with trans people and she wrote me a letter of recomendation for hormones. At no point did I ever have to get some sort of assessment or evaluation done for my gender identity.