Seeking advice on a couple of things

[Young Pretender]

Right...off the bat, I'm bi and in my last semester of college. I had my first ever "gay" date with a rather handsome and adorable fellow. We met at a pub we both liked and spent 6 1/2 hours shooting the breeze. Mutual interests (of which there are many, more than I've hoped for in another person), mutual friends (surprising here, really), our families, political beliefs, and some innuendo for good measure! When we parted, I gave him a pat on the head. My behavior is reserved and under the radar (or to use the despicable term, "straight acting") not intentionally, but because it's simply me. I say this because I wanted to give him a kiss to boil the blood and let the man juices gush in a torrent, but we were on the middle of "main street." I'm going to ask him to a more private place for a bottle of wine and a walk on the beach later in the week.

Now, what pitfalls might I expect/watch out for in a mixed-orientation relationship (also good for future reference if something doesn't work out here)? I will say that I am rather strong on the man-liking side (always have been, look at them more and develop relationships faster/better), but I imagine some of you might have good advice on this matter.

On the second matter, what is the payment etiquette like? I admit, I am very "traditional" and have paid for my prior dates (obviously with women). Now that my current interest is a man, that throws a wrench into the time-honored norm of I=free meal. Of course, I would like to spoil this one a bit before I toss him over my shoulder and carry him off viking-style. On the other hand, he doesn't strike me, on the surface at least, as a strongly effeminate/submissive personality. So I wouldn't want to force him into an uncomfortable position.

[Sunsetting]

dang lol, you are funny.

i've gone out where either party pays and we've also done dutch. the pat on the head thing... ummm... *eyebrow raised* wow, how romantic. i know you were playing the straight card, but you could have given him a hug lol.

i'm not too sure what you mean by "mixed relationship". just let it develop...same with a girl or guy. however, if you're pretty in the closet, the guy thing may be a lot more intense in some ways because it's secretive and you'll have all these new passions which are being explored. my recommendation is just take it slow and get to know a person, that way you make decisions with your mind and not just your passion or emotions. we always make better decisions like that. just keep posting on where it's going

[hml8]

I can't answer on the first question, but with regards the paying issue how about when you go out the next time simply offer to pay for something you've shared then if he seems to be rejecting the offer move on to going halfs

[Young Pretender]

Originally Posted by Sunsetting

dang lol, you are funny.

i've gone out where either party pays and we've also done dutch. the pat on the head thing... ummm... *eyebrow raised* wow, how romantic. i know you were playing the straight card, but you could have given him a hug lol.

i'm not too sure what you mean by "mixed relationship". just let it develop...same with a girl or guy. however, if you're pretty in the closet, the guy thing may be a lot more intense in some ways because it's secretive and you'll have all these new passions which are being explored. my recommendation is just take it slow and get to know a person, that way you make decisions with your mind and not just your passion or emotions. we always make better decisions like that. just keep posting on where it's going

Your eyebrow raising is justified (I'm an oddball so dealing with them is second nature now). It's not really playing the straight card so much as the "I don't do PDA's...with men or women."

By mixed, I mean "mixed orientation." On bisexual forums, this most usually deals with long-married spouses dealing with the issues of one spouse being straight and the other bi. I am thinking of the implications of this in a shorter, more casual context.

[sexyalex]

Dear Young Pretender,

I must start by saying it was quite a mirth and rather dramatic reading your post. Cheers to that.
Secondly, wine and walk on the beach? Can someone say...hot much?! (smiles)

Ohkay. Firstly, if cornering this guy into a submissive position is your fear then that's the least. Verse or bottom. It doesn't matter. If a guy likes you back, and he can see himself doing monkey flips with you, he will get down on his knees and take an entire sky scraper without blinking.
The most important thing is to just work on displaying your affection. It doesn't have to be in public if that is NOT your thing.

But once the setting is intimate enough. Find out if your guy is top, verse or bottom. Let him know how much you fancy him and if your scared, ask him for his help in opening up about his preferences. Likes and dislikes.
You may be surprised- Macho on the streets, lady-like under the sheets.

Secondly, about the payment. Clearly your an Alpha male. I know guys like you because I only date guys like you and if you wish to go dutch. Fine.
BUT NOT on the first date. You pay. You ask him out, and you pay. It's the price you pay for wanting to take him over your shoulder and carry him off to bed. (it's only fair)
Secondly, if your just sharing a bottle of wine by the beach, hoe does payment come into any of this?-nice touch btw. Wine makes even a monk under a silence vow talk.
As the relationship progresses, and he starts asking you out, you can OFFER to go dutch or provide where their is an open window. Afterall, it's your duty.(For instance, if he pays for dinner, offer to pay for the movies, etc.)

[Danny19]

Originally Posted by Young Pretender

Of course, I would like to spoil this one a bit before I toss him over my shoulder and carry him off viking-style.

ahah i laughed at this... but i want someone like this. lol.. anyways for the paying. my idea is that if you invite you can pay. thats how i see it.

as for the submissive thing, if you likes you as much as you like him then he might agree to be the submissive one.