failed at coming out to my family

[javgier]

i almost said it. it was so close, but the words wouldnt drain out. everyone was there and then my little sister (who is super judgemental) walked in. now i feel this load of pressure in my upper chest and in my throat. any way to help myself besides repreting *be brave stupid ass* in my head.

[sanguine]

yea, gotta hate that feeling, i told myself it was now or never cause i didn't want to be a hypocrite to my own standards to other people. So i cornered my mum in her room while she was alone and she thought i was acting weird cause i was sitting around for no reason for about 20 mins, then i told her.

her reaction is a different story for another thread or place but the main point i want to say is just remember why your doing it, and be brave, i may suggest maybe testing the waters with some close friends if you haven't already, and don't rush it either, if you feel like this is not your time then don't do it.

[jlg65]

Its ok there really isn't a rush. don't tell them if you aren't comfortable and ready. and like sanguine said, try it with some friends first.

[javgier]

Originally Posted by sanguine

yea, gotta hate that feeling, i told myself it was now or never cause i didn't want to be a hypocrite to my own standards to other people. So i cornered my mum in her room while she was alone and she thought i was acting weird cause i was sitting around for no reason for about 20 mins, then i told her.

her reaction is a different story for another thread or place but the main point i want to say is just remember why your doing it, and be brave, i may suggest maybe testing the waters with some close friends if you haven't already, and don't rush it either, if you feel like this is not your time then don't do it.

the waters seem so dangerous =...= my sister is a shark >....>

[Marlowe]

Don't worry about it. It takes time, and a butt load of courage to do what you want to do, and we all have tried and not succeeded, but you will in the end. I promise you. Once you want to tell someone, it will be inevitable -- it just may take time. Self acceptance is the hardest part. I threw away multiple openings to tell my best friend whom I new would be totally supportive. It took me three months to tell her. So you haven't failed you have just found one way that didn't work. Here are two thoughts. the first is that you could tell just one person in your family. This might take off some pressure and give you an opening to discuss dealing with your sister. Secondly, you might consider writing a letter. This is what I did for my parents and for my best friend. It allowed me to say everything I wanted to say and not have to face them. Besides it is way easier to press the send button on an email than to say "I'm gay." And even then it took me a while.

Don't be discourage! You will find a way and find the courage in yourself, even if you feel like will never happen right now. Remember, you probably once felt this way about even wanting to tell someone, but hey! here you are trying to tell your family. Best of luck ad we are always here for you as you navigate this.

[javgier]

Originally Posted by Marlowe

Don't worry about it. It takes time, and a butt load of courage to do what you want to do, and we all have tried and not succeeded, but you will in the end. I promise you. Once you want to tell someone, it will be inevitable -- it just may take time. Self acceptance is the hardest part. I threw away multiple openings to tell my best friend whom I new would be totally supportive. It took me three months to tell her. So you haven't failed you have just found one way that didn't work. Here are two thoughts. the first is that you could tell just one person in your family. This might take off some pressure and give you an opening to discuss dealing with your sister. Secondly, you might consider writing a letter. This is what I did for my parents and for my best friend. It allowed me to say everything I wanted to say and not have to face them. Besides it is way easier to press the send button on an email than to say "I'm gay." And even then it took me a while.

Don't be discourage! You will find a way and find the courage in yourself, even if you feel like will never happen right now. Remember, you probably once felt this way about even wanting to tell someone, but hey! here you are trying to tell your family. Best of luck ad we are always here for you as you navigate this.

ok imma try the letter and maybe the confront 1 person at a time idea ty ^^ that message just made me feel a little better.

[Chip]

Your sister will come around. My friend came out at 20, and his younger sister went absolutely ballistic and caused a HUGE scene. But... a couple months later (he was home from college at the time he came out), everything was totally peachy and they have a great relationship now. I think your situation will likely be the same.