I like Older???

[Justindee13]

So I have noticed that I am more attracted to older men, both personality wise but physically too. i don't know why, but I am. I am 17 and I am talking about me liking 25 and up. Is that weird, or what?

[Sunsetting]

there is a guy who posted on the exact same thing this week. he had some good responses. i'll try to find it.

[Mlpguy88]

No it's not weird at all. Everyone has a type

But since your 17 you should wait another year before pursuing this.

[Sunsetting]

Here's a link: Attracted to older men It was a great conversation

Here's one thing Chip said about this other dude's situation:
The age difference between a 21 year old and a 53 year old is pretty significant. Putting aside the illness factors you mention, there's the small issue of being in *completely* different places in life; the 53 year old is starting to think about retirement, while the 21 year old is starting to think about starting a career.

It would be virtually impossible for the relationship to be balanced and healthy; in the early years, the older person would likely be a "caretaker" type for the younger one, as income, life experience, goals, interest, and just about everything else will likely be very disproportionate and different. In later years, the younger person would likely become caretaker for the older one.

And for every story you read about a relationship with a large age difference working, there are probably a hundred where it does not... simply because of the incompatibilities, differences in life experience, and values. Believe me, I have talked to an awful lot of people who have been in them and they sometimes work fine for a while but eventually (usually sooner than later) the problems crop up. And there are execeptions, but those are exceptions, not the common outcome.

So no, age is not just a number.

Another issue I feel the need to address is the nature of this relationship. This is someone you've known your whole life. You are looking up to him as a mentor and parental figure and source of advice. This is not what one should be seeking in a healthy relationship; it's an inherently imbalanced one. If you find yourself only interested in older men, then likely there's something you are seeking out (perhaps a closeness you never got from your father? That's a common cause of this sort of feeling) that you are mistaking for the normal healthy romantic interactions between two adults in similar places in their lives. So to answer the question about how to address the feelings... it might be really beneficial to at least explore those feelings in a few sessions with a therapist. You might come to some very different understandings that could cause you to see things in a different way. If not, and if after discussion with a therapist, you are still certain that you're attracted to older men then... have at it... but I do think it would be a wise idea for your own emotional and psychological well being to at least look into this before going down this path.

[AloneOutHere]

Originally Posted by Mlpguy88

No it's not weird at all. Everyone has a type

But since your 17 you should wait another year before pursuing this.

^^^agreed

It's not wierd though. Maybe you're just more mature than people your age.

[kirbycat]

Originally Posted by AloneOutHere

It's not wierd though. Maybe you're just more mature than people your age.

Agreed. I was the same at that age - only attracted to people in their 20s. I always chalked it up to the maturity factor.

The age difference here is small enough that, if there's a specific someone you're interested in, it can work. It's also likely your attractions will balance out as you reach your 20s yourself.

And yes, wait another year if you want to pursue anything.

[No One]

That is a very small age difference in the scheme of things. I have an uncle and aunt who are 13 years apart. The fact is that they are perfect for each other and in this case I tend to feel that age is only a number. After a certain point (say 20 years difference) I start thinking there is an issue though.

Not weird at all.

[Homo Novus]

Naaahhhh! I'm 20, and my girlfriend is 38. But what I like most about her is her honesty and maturity, and ability to hold a healthy, long-term relationship. That's something I don't find in most other 20-year-olds. Age is but a number. Your tendency to like older men is probably a maturity thing... and it's TOTALLY justified! Don't sweat it.

[Jski]

You are perfectly fine... I'm 21 and the men I like are 45-55 so you are good to go. God I LOVE OLDER MEN!!!!!!