Mixed feelings...on everything! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Jessica816 · 23rd Jan 2012, 01:16 AM

Let me start this off by saying, sorry for the ramble just kinda lost and not sure about a few things... Not sure if I have any questions, maybe just advice maybe someone to tell me im not crazy. Im not sure

So a friend of mine bought me flowers at work the other day and it was sweet. I'm openly gay at work first of all, so she calls me tonight and says she forgot to tell me something. I guess a co worker went to one of our bosses and asked them if my "relationship" with my co worker was going to be a problem..That right there made me angry and hurt, because just a few days before another co worker got flowers and it wasn't a big deal..This is my first time ever feeling judged or different at work. I just don't understand what the big deal was, or rather why it was a big deal. Were just friends and even if we werent just friends why it would be a big deal, tons of other co workers date and its not an issue. This is the first time ever really having to deal with discrimination at work.

The reason she bought me flowers was to try to cheer me up, its been a rough few weeks. The woman who I'm crazy about Texted me the other day, which just threw me off. We stopped talking more then 6 months ago and she just keeps popping back up. She first Texted me a few months back which just ruined my whole getting over her process, I picked up the pieces and moved on..yet again. I just don't know how to move on with my life with her just randomly Texting me..I know I know, I should just tell her to stop, but thats the problem I can't seem to do that. A part of me is ready to tell her to stay out of my life then another part of me is scared that she WILL stay out of my life and I don't know how to deal with that. I just don't know how to move forward with my life, I know I deserve better I just don't know how to get to that point.

Rooni321 · 23rd Jan 2012, 12:17 PM

I'm sorry this is going on, it sounds very confusing but I totally get it.
Asl her to respect you and stop dragging you along for nothing, and if she can't respect your feelings/wishes then you shouldn't want someone like that in your life. Life's too short, there's more fish in the sea, you can find someone that respects you better than that. Do what's best for YOU (:

And on the work thing I'm not exactly sure about laws and such regarding the workplace (I should though, damnit) but maybe ACLU has more info on that!

Chouchou · 23rd Jan 2012, 12:24 PM

Some articles/documents regarding workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, and how to be out at work.

FindLaw article
Lambda Legal ToolKit

Hope this helps!

There's also ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act), but it's not been passed by Congress yet. Hopefully, it will.

Jessica816 · 23rd Jan 2012, 10:53 PM

Thank you Rooni321, I so know I deserve better but making that happen is a whole other story. One day at a time I guess.

---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2012 at 10:54 PM ----------

I'm actually in the process of looking at these sites so thank you for the links Chouchou. I just have never had to deal with something like this, it kinda ruined my work week that's for sure.

23rd Jan 2012, 01:16 AM	#1
Jessica816 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bi-romantic lesbian? Still working on it Out Status: Out loud and so very proud Location: Kansas city, Mo Age: 23 Posts: 255 Join Date: Nov 2011	Mixed feelings...on everything! Let me start this off by saying, sorry for the ramble just kinda lost and not sure about a few things... Not sure if I have any questions, maybe just advice maybe someone to tell me im not crazy. Im not sure So a friend of mine bought me flowers at work the other day and it was sweet. I'm openly gay at work first of all, so she calls me tonight and says she forgot to tell me something. I guess a co worker went to one of our bosses and asked them if my "relationship" with my co worker was going to be a problem..That right there made me angry and hurt, because just a few days before another co worker got flowers and it wasn't a big deal..This is my first time ever feeling judged or different at work. I just don't understand what the big deal was, or rather why it was a big deal. Were just friends and even if we werent just friends why it would be a big deal, tons of other co workers date and its not an issue. This is the first time ever really having to deal with discrimination at work. The reason she bought me flowers was to try to cheer me up, its been a rough few weeks. The woman who I'm crazy about Texted me the other day, which just threw me off. We stopped talking more then 6 months ago and she just keeps popping back up. She first Texted me a few months back which just ruined my whole getting over her process, I picked up the pieces and moved on..yet again. I just don't know how to move on with my life with her just randomly Texting me..I know I know, I should just tell her to stop, but thats the problem I can't seem to do that. A part of me is ready to tell her to stay out of my life then another part of me is scared that she WILL stay out of my life and I don't know how to deal with that. I just don't know how to move forward with my life, I know I deserve better I just don't know how to get to that point. __________________ "Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."

23rd Jan 2012, 12:17 PM	#2
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Mixed feelings...on everything! I'm sorry this is going on, it sounds very confusing but I totally get it. Asl her to respect you and stop dragging you along for nothing, and if she can't respect your feelings/wishes then you shouldn't want someone like that in your life. Life's too short, there's more fish in the sea, you can find someone that respects you better than that. Do what's best for YOU (: And on the work thing I'm not exactly sure about laws and such regarding the workplace (I should though, damnit) but maybe ACLU has more info on that! __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

23rd Jan 2012, 12:24 PM	#3
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Mixed feelings...on everything! Some articles/documents regarding workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, and how to be out at work. FindLaw article Lambda Legal ToolKit Hope this helps! There's also ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act), but it's not been passed by Congress yet. Hopefully, it will. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Last edited by Chouchou; 23rd Jan 2012 at 12:26 PM..

23rd Jan 2012, 10:53 PM	#4
Jessica816 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bi-romantic lesbian? Still working on it Out Status: Out loud and so very proud Location: Kansas city, Mo Age: 23 Posts: 255 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Mixed feelings...on everything! Thank you Rooni321, I so know I deserve better but making that happen is a whole other story. One day at a time I guess. ---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2012 at 10:54 PM ---------- I'm actually in the process of looking at these sites so thank you for the links Chouchou. I just have never had to deal with something like this, it kinda ruined my work week that's for sure. __________________ "Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."

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