Less time together

[lilmonster91]

So this is my fist post - YAY!

Here's the story:
I've been dating my bf for 6 months tomorrow, well technically its only been 5, since we we're broken up for a month and decided to get back together. I admit we took things way too fast before we broke up, and it's making this time a lot more difficult to not ALWAYS be together. After three months I moved into his place with his roomie. It wasn't bad living together since we had been spending almost every night together anyway. However, he was having some issues with his past relationship resurfacing. Long story short - I told him, "If you're not sure that you want me, then you don't get to have me."

A month goes by and we get back together. Now that we're together again, I am happy, but I'm having some MAJOR trust issues. Which I find hard to understand since he never gave me a reason not to trust him before. Recently he initiated the idea that we need to spend more time apart. I agreed. It will help me build my trust and it will be a healthier relationship, I think.

I feel so hurt when he doesn't want me to stay the night with him, as if he doesn't love me because I'm so used to spending all my nights with him. I also feel less important and needed.

How can I realize this is for the best, and trust that he's not being unfaithful while we aren't together??

PLEASE HELP - I'LL TAKE ANY SUGGESTIONS!

THANKS EVERYONE - AND SORRY IT WAS SOOOO LOONNGGG! LOL

[Koll]

Gathered from what you've said, which isn't a whole much to work with..


Maybe he needs space? I went through this exact problem with my ex, where I'd see him everyday until it wasn't possible.. and he just really wanted some time to himself. It's not to hurt your feelings, some people just need breathing space..

(Also lucky you. I didn't get to sleep with my ex often. )


Also welcome to empty closets! I know this site has helped me since I was younger and I hope it does the same for you

[J Snow]

Yeah, you are kind of acting like my bf has in the past. He was living with me in my dorm for some time, and he had trust issues, and was bothered by me going back home over breaks and weekends and such. Whereas I felt like we way rushed things and kind of wanted more space.

People are just different, and want to move at different paces. I don't think there's anything wrong with him wanting some nights to himself. I know I was guilty of wanting my alone time, especially since that tiny dorm was only one room. I could never be alone, and while I loved spending time with him, I missed my nights alone playing video games, watching TV, reading, writing, listening to music, whatever I wanted to do in my free time.

I really don't think you have any reason to suspect him of cheating or anything just because he wants time alone. If you broke up last time because you guys rushed things, he's probably just trying to make sure that doesn't happen again.

[lilmonster91]

Originally Posted by Koll

Gathered from what you've said, which isn't a whole much to work with..


Maybe he needs space? I went through this exact problem with my ex, where I'd see him everyday until it wasn't possible.. and he just really wanted some time to himself. It's not to hurt your feelings, some people just need breathing space..

(Also lucky you. I didn't get to sleep with my ex often. )


Also welcome to empty closets! I know this site has helped me since I was younger and I hope it does the same for you

Thanks koll for the input it does help!

---------- Post added 25th Jan 2012 at 12:50 AM ----------

Originally Posted by J Snow

Yeah, you are kind of acting like my bf has in the past. He was living with me in my dorm for some time, and he had trust issues, and was bothered by me going back home over breaks and weekends and such. Whereas I felt like we way rushed things and kind of wanted more space.

People are just different, and want to move at different paces. I don't think there's anything wrong with him wanting some nights to himself. I know I was guilty of wanting my alone time, especially since that tiny dorm was only one room. I could never be alone, and while I loved spending time with him, I missed my nights alone playing video games, watching TV, reading, writing, listening to music, whatever I wanted to do in my free time.

I really don't think you have any reason to suspect him of cheating or anything just because he wants time alone. If you broke up last time because you guys rushed things, he's probably just trying to make sure that doesn't happen again.

Thanks J Snow, you had a lot of valid points. I think a lot of it has to do with me being single for so long before i met him, im afraid of losin him, but i do know time apart is good for both of us.

[Koll]

Well. don't do what I did.


My fears made me lose him.