Education and Future - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Koll · 26th Jan 2012, 12:39 AM

My life is a dull moment right now. If anyone could give me some advice, I would appriciate it so much..

I'm depressed about my failed relationship, about my failing education, and my lack of a future.

.. I have 1 highschool credit. .. An essential level English credit. I'm supposed to be in grade 12.

School causes a ton of anxiety for me. I can barely handle it, the social aspect, the 1000 people in 1 building, the 70 minute long classes, the bitchy teachers who criticize anything I do. The only thing I've ever been good at is computers, and I wish to go to college to be a Systems Manager. People just tell me I'm lazy but I swear everytime I'm in a classroom atmosphere I have a panic attack. I try to go to the library often, as its a large and quiet space with low amounts of people..

But highschool throttles me back. I'm forever trapped in it and It's ruining what I want as a future. It makes me so upset and its hard to deal with knowing I won't get there. I've tried online schooling and it didn't really workout for me.

I've asked my guidance counselors about getting my GED, as studying alone for a year would be a much better option for me, but everytime I talk to them about this they just insist I stay in school until I'm 21 and refuse to get me setup for this..

I'm turning 17 next month. I don't want to sit in highschool for eight years!

What do I do in a situation like this? My mother can't exactly help me and I need to stand on my own feet.

olides84 · 26th Jan 2012, 02:25 AM

Find another guidance counselor! Especially if they don't seem to be listening to you or being rational about your options. You sound pretty self-aware and knowledgeable, and so I'd say it's never too early to take control of what you think is the best path for your future. So if you think getting the GED individually is the right thing, then you should pursue it. It sounds like you'd get your diploma at the same age as your peers, and then you could pursue the career/education/both that you are interested in.

But besides that, I would try to work on your anxiety issues as well. Even if you take this different direction for HS, you're of course gonna come across other situations where you'll have to deal with large amounts of people. If you can conquer or at least control the anxiety, that'll set you up for more success in life.

**Jim1454** · 26th Jan 2012, 01:54 PM

I'd say the same things as Oldies. Your counsellor should be able to do more than just tell you no, keep doing what you're doing. Because that clearly isn't working for you. Do you explain your anxiety issues?

Have you tried to work on the anxiety issues? Because guess what? Systems Managers often work in office buildings - with 1000s of people in small rooms where you sit for 8 hours a day with people you quite likely won't like there either. So things don't necessarily get better. Getting to the root of what the issue is now is something you're likely going to have to do.

Marlowe · 26th Jan 2012, 05:11 PM

Coming at this from the perspective of a teacher, I think institutionally we place too much emphasis on school itself rather than trying to find the right environment for students. For me this focus tends to be more focused on getting students to college when in reality this may not be the best option. For instance I have a severely dyslexic student for whom another two or four years of writing and reading would be hell for him and it has been difficult to convince his parents and the administration to try to plan for something other than college. On your end, we also have students that definitely know that GED is right for them and that they can't stay in school.

I would tend to agree that this option should be open to you, and that part of this is getting your parents on your side and involved and also escalating this beyond your guidance counselor.

I don't know how your school is structured, but most in the US have some sort of counseling department separate from guidance counseling -- either a social worker, or a psychologist or some one that works in mental health rather than in education. I think it is really important to find someone like this as the issue of you feeling like you are having panic attacks in the classroom is not something that I would take lightly. Really try to make your needs know. I think in general teachers mean well by their students, but they can't always carry this out if they don't know what is going on, and at a large school like yours it is easy for a student like you to slip through the cracks and be written off.

I guess the biggest piece of advice I can give you is that you have to learn how to advocate for yourself to adults in your school and life. If you have any questions about how to approach teachers or counselors, I'd be happy to give you some advice or feedback. I know it might seem intimidating, but I have met very few teachers who are not willing to turn over a new stone with a student. I certainly would.

26th Jan 2012, 12:39 AM	#1
Koll sigh. Full Member Gender: Boy Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone. Location: Canada Age: 17 Posts: 225 Join Date: Aug 2009	Education and Future My life is a dull moment right now. If anyone could give me some advice, I would appriciate it so much.. I'm depressed about my failed relationship, about my failing education, and my lack of a future. .. I have 1 highschool credit. .. An essential level English credit. I'm supposed to be in grade 12. School causes a ton of anxiety for me. I can barely handle it, the social aspect, the 1000 people in 1 building, the 70 minute long classes, the bitchy teachers who criticize anything I do. The only thing I've ever been good at is computers, and I wish to go to college to be a Systems Manager. People just tell me I'm lazy but I swear everytime I'm in a classroom atmosphere I have a panic attack. I try to go to the library often, as its a large and quiet space with low amounts of people.. But highschool throttles me back. I'm forever trapped in it and It's ruining what I want as a future. It makes me so upset and its hard to deal with knowing I won't get there. I've tried online schooling and it didn't really workout for me. I've asked my guidance counselors about getting my GED, as studying alone for a year would be a much better option for me, but everytime I talk to them about this they just insist I stay in school until I'm 21 and refuse to get me setup for this.. I'm turning 17 next month. I don't want to sit in highschool for eight years! What do I do in a situation like this? My mother can't exactly help me and I need to stand on my own feet. __________________ The "Nice" Person.

26th Jan 2012, 02:25 AM	#2
olides84 stranger in a strange land Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Pretty much Location: Belgium Posts: 1,042 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Education and Future Find another guidance counselor! Especially if they don't seem to be listening to you or being rational about your options. You sound pretty self-aware and knowledgeable, and so I'd say it's never too early to take control of what you think is the best path for your future. So if you think getting the GED individually is the right thing, then you should pursue it. It sounds like you'd get your diploma at the same age as your peers, and then you could pursue the career/education/both that you are interested in. But besides that, I would try to work on your anxiety issues as well. Even if you take this different direction for HS, you're of course gonna come across other situations where you'll have to deal with large amounts of people. If you can conquer or at least control the anxiety, that'll set you up for more success in life.

26th Jan 2012, 01:54 PM	#3
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,449 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Education and Future I'd say the same things as Oldies. Your counsellor should be able to do more than just tell you no, keep doing what you're doing. Because that clearly isn't working for you. Do you explain your anxiety issues? Have you tried to work on the anxiety issues? Because guess what? Systems Managers often work in office buildings - with 1000s of people in small rooms where you sit for 8 hours a day with people you quite likely won't like there either. So things don't necessarily get better. Getting to the root of what the issue is now is something you're likely going to have to do. __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

26th Jan 2012, 05:11 PM	#4
Marlowe Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: The people who matter Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Education and Future Coming at this from the perspective of a teacher, I think institutionally we place too much emphasis on school itself rather than trying to find the right environment for students. For me this focus tends to be more focused on getting students to college when in reality this may not be the best option. For instance I have a severely dyslexic student for whom another two or four years of writing and reading would be hell for him and it has been difficult to convince his parents and the administration to try to plan for something other than college. On your end, we also have students that definitely know that GED is right for them and that they can't stay in school. I would tend to agree that this option should be open to you, and that part of this is getting your parents on your side and involved and also escalating this beyond your guidance counselor. I don't know how your school is structured, but most in the US have some sort of counseling department separate from guidance counseling -- either a social worker, or a psychologist or some one that works in mental health rather than in education. I think it is really important to find someone like this as the issue of you feeling like you are having panic attacks in the classroom is not something that I would take lightly. Really try to make your needs know. I think in general teachers mean well by their students, but they can't always carry this out if they don't know what is going on, and at a large school like yours it is easy for a student like you to slip through the cracks and be written off. I guess the biggest piece of advice I can give you is that you have to learn how to advocate for yourself to adults in your school and life. If you have any questions about how to approach teachers or counselors, I'd be happy to give you some advice or feedback. I know it might seem intimidating, but I have met very few teachers who are not willing to turn over a new stone with a student. I certainly would.