New and scared! - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

01megz · 26th Jan 2012, 10:29 AM

Hey all,

I'm Megz and I'm new here. I thought I'd join as I'm feeling pretty isolated at the moment re the whole gay thing and revealing it my housemates. I've only here for a month now (well, since the 5th) and due to illness and stress haven't thought about how to do it. Everything is such a mess!

Some comments have been made re lesbians, and I know they were meant in jest but it still makes me feel uneasy I guess. Also, I feel terribly deceitful for not telling one of them before a night out and her getting drunk and practically grinding me lol. It didn't 'turn me on' or anything like that but I still feel pretty bad. She also changed her top when I was in her room and things like this make me feel bad too. On the one hand, I'd rather keep shtum in fear of not rocking the boat, on the other, I feel deceitful for not being myself and creating awkward situations for myself and the other person by not revealing it in the first place. I've passed by so many easy opportunities by not just saying those three words..

My plan was to bake a rainbow cake and then hold some kind of evening (or wait till everyone is around) and do it then somehow.

Would this be too 'gay' ?

Thanks!

x

mAOz · 26th Jan 2012, 10:38 AM

I think that's a nice way to do it, subtle but they get free cake!

**Lexington** · 26th Jan 2012, 10:39 AM

Welcome to EC!

Would it be "too gay"? Well, kinda.

I think, like most people in your situations, you want to get two points across.

1. You're gay.
2. This isn't a big deal. Ideally, nothing will change.

The rainbow cake handles #1, but it sort of runs counter to #2. And I think keeping #2 in mind is a good way to go about it. If you can say something along the lines of "You know, I've never actually told you (either singular or plural) that I'm gay. I'm assuming it isn't going to be any big deal, but I thought maybe you should be made aware of it." You can probably use a form of that script for any of the "openings" you've seen pop up here and there.

Lex

BudderMC · 26th Jan 2012, 10:47 AM

The way I see it, being lighthearted enough about it to make a cake and turn it into something funny (yet not a joke) isn't a bad way to go about it. As long as you keep the same lighthearted attitude when you deliver it, they'll take it the same way, and it'll likely turn into "not a big deal" (yet still memorable, unless the cake is bad

)

Ace17 · 26th Jan 2012, 01:15 PM

Hey everyone is down with cake, you can never go wrong their.

thecat06 · 26th Jan 2012, 01:21 PM

Sounds like a good idea to me!! Cake is awesome!! Good Luck!!

01megz · 26th Jan 2012, 01:34 PM

Hey, thanks for the replies

I feel like such a baby for not being able to just blurt it out when there have been so many occasions: do you have a boyfriend? how many people have you slept with?
It's so frustrating
x

thecat06 · 26th Jan 2012, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 01megz

Hey, thanks for the replies

I feel like such a baby for not being able to just blurt it out when there have been so many occasions: do you have a boyfriend? how many people have you slept with?
It's so frustrating
x

I can understand... I know for me it is really hard to slip it in to a conversation.

01megz · 26th Jan 2012, 02:12 PM

Yeah :S
I don't know when I'm going to see everyone to ask about times. It's tricky because I want to do this ASAP but other people have upcoming plans. Just remembered that one of them is going away...oh no!
Invites in post slots or not? Next dilemma lol.
x

26th Jan 2012, 10:39 AM	#3
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: New and scared! Welcome to EC! Would it be "too gay"? Well, kinda. I think, like most people in your situations, you want to get two points across. 1. You're gay. 2. This isn't a big deal. Ideally, nothing will change. The rainbow cake handles #1, but it sort of runs counter to #2. And I think keeping #2 in mind is a good way to go about it. If you can say something along the lines of "You know, I've never actually told you (either singular or plural) that I'm gay. I'm assuming it isn't going to be any big deal, but I thought maybe you should be made aware of it." You can probably use a form of that script for any of the "openings" you've seen pop up here and there. Lex

26th Jan 2012, 10:47 AM	#4
BudderMC playing Devil's advocate. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I have caught 'the gay'. Out Status: Out at university! Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 20 Posts: 716 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: New and scared! The way I see it, being lighthearted enough about it to make a cake and turn it into something funny (yet not a joke) isn't a bad way to go about it. As long as you keep the same lighthearted attitude when you deliver it, they'll take it the same way, and it'll likely turn into "not a big deal" (yet still memorable, unless the cake is bad ) __________________

26th Jan 2012, 01:15 PM	#5
Ace17 Sometimes Ignorance is NOT bliss. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian ♀♀ Out Status: Ask me about it. Location: New York State. Age: 17 Posts: 766 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: New and scared! Hey everyone is down with cake, you can never go wrong their. __________________ "Love is like the air we breathe. It may not always be seen, but it is always felt, used and needed." "Love knows no race, gender, or age. Love only knows the heart that is within."

26th Jan 2012, 01:21 PM	#6
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: New and scared! Sounds like a good idea to me!! Cake is awesome!! Good Luck!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

26th Jan 2012, 01:34 PM	#7
01megz Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A few people Posts: 13 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: New and scared! Hey, thanks for the replies I feel like such a baby for not being able to just blurt it out when there have been so many occasions: do you have a boyfriend? how many people have you slept with? It's so frustrating x

26th Jan 2012, 10:29 AM	#1
01megz Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A few people Posts: 13 Join Date: Jan 2012	New and scared! Hey all, I'm Megz and I'm new here. I thought I'd join as I'm feeling pretty isolated at the moment re the whole gay thing and revealing it my housemates. I've only here for a month now (well, since the 5th) and due to illness and stress haven't thought about how to do it. Everything is such a mess! Some comments have been made re lesbians, and I know they were meant in jest but it still makes me feel uneasy I guess. Also, I feel terribly deceitful for not telling one of them before a night out and her getting drunk and practically grinding me lol. It didn't 'turn me on' or anything like that but I still feel pretty bad. She also changed her top when I was in her room and things like this make me feel bad too. On the one hand, I'd rather keep shtum in fear of not rocking the boat, on the other, I feel deceitful for not being myself and creating awkward situations for myself and the other person by not revealing it in the first place. I've passed by so many easy opportunities by not just saying those three words.. My plan was to bake a rainbow cake and then hold some kind of evening (or wait till everyone is around) and do it then somehow. Would this be too 'gay' ? Thanks! x

26th Jan 2012, 10:38 AM	#2
mAOz Your friendly neighbourhood Bi! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Age: 14 Posts: 103 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: New and scared! I think that's a nice way to do it, subtle but they get free cake! __________________ The Force. It surrounds us. It enfolds us. It gets us dates on Saturday Nights. - Obi Wan Kenobi, Famous Jedi Knight and Party Animal

26th Jan 2012, 02:12 PM	#9
01megz Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A few people Posts: 13 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: New and scared! Yeah :S I don't know when I'm going to see everyone to ask about times. It's tricky because I want to do this ASAP but other people have upcoming plans. Just remembered that one of them is going away...oh no! Invites in post slots or not? Next dilemma lol. x