Thought I was Bi, but might be straight? INPUT NEEDED

[unknown12]

*Viewer discretion advised*

Ok, so I was fooling around with this one guy tonight and he ended up giving me head. It was good until he requested that I give him head, I was scared to, and the first time I tired, I backed out.

Background: This was not the best setting to do anything intimate, and the other guy was high. I have been trying to accept myself too, and i'm afraid I will get a STD if I do something sexual.

Does this mean i'm straight? Is this common among gay people to be scared to give head.

[BudderMC]

Given the background you provided, it sounds more like you just weren't comfortable. Particularly if this was your first time, it's something you need to be in the right mindset to do. I wouldn't exactly use one bad experience as grounds for being 'straight'.

[Gleeko0]

Ok, i suppose "give a head" is a blowjob right?

Well, I'm 100% sure i am Bisexual, guys turn me on easier than girls but i still get turned on by girls in many occasions. I do think i would be a bit scared trying anything with another guy for the first time, more than a girl because... i think the chances are that i would be pretty much dominant there (most times), now with a guy that would be another story, i guess its would be much more awkward by nature (first time).

I guess its normal to not feel comfortable with a situation because you have never done it before, whoever its not because you like guys that you naturally would do ANYTHING with a guy without hesitating lol


It depends of personality i guess, some people do things faster and with less hesitation than others, its not because one is gay that he will easily trust anyone to have anal sex with him for example, some people are more open to new experiences with other people sure.. But well, I'm pretty much the opposite and i like guys, I'm always scared of doing anything with anyone without knowing that person well, its just me. I have to know the person well before even making put (or whatever you call it) otherwise i won't feel comfortable...thats why i haven't had many experiences o.o



And...about STD...

Just always have safe sex and ...about blowjob, I'm not sure if transmission is possible there and how but I'm almost sure that if your mouth has an opening (like a very small bleeding or anything) it can happen

But... by what you said, i understood that you are scared of getting an STD because its a same-sex experience? I don't think the chances are higher or lower than straight experiences... Just make sure you wear condom (and your partner too if thats the case) And if you feel more comfortable, make him wear a condom for oral sex, that is not a problem right?


---------

Thats all i know, based in some personal experiences but also based in what i read here and overall sexual education material, and some (few) sexual education classes too.


Hope that helps

[Chip]

Originally Posted by unknown12

*Viewer discretion advised*

Ok, so I was fooling around with this one guy tonight and he ended up giving me head. It was good until he requested that I give him head, I was scared to, and the first time I tired, I backed out.

Background: This was not the best setting to do anything intimate, and the other guy was high. I have been trying to accept myself too, and i'm afraid I will get a STD if I do something sexual.

Does this mean i'm straight? Is this common among gay people to be scared to give head.

It's very common, particularly if you're still questioning your sexuality, to be scared to give head -- or, for that matter, do anything with a person of the same sex.

Think about it: Just the way you've phrased the question sounds like perhaps part of you is still desperately hoping that you're straight. And if part of you doesn't want to be bi or gay, then it makes perfect sense that you'd be both attracted and repulsed at the same time.

So the real question is... were you aroused before he started giving you head? Were you feeling sort of excited (as well as nervous and anxious) during the encounter? IF the answers to those are "yes", then clearly you have attraction to guys. If you were imagining a girl giving you head when he was going down on you, or if the thought of him giving you head grossed you out... *then* there would be reason to question your attraction to guys. But I'm guessing that isn't the case.

I also have to say it's good in a way that you were anxious because of the concern about your safety. Because keeping yourself safe and healthy is really important, and it's clear that you have that as a priority. So, assuming you do have attraction to guys, the next step is to learn to be comfortable accepting that in yourself, and then, in turn, learn what you need to know to make intelligent decisions about what sort of sexual behavior to participate in, how to be safe, and so forth.

[toremi]

My opinion would be to check your feelings when you are in the right mind set... and not having some sort of sexual relations with another person.

This is how I more easily discovered I was bisexual.

Because there are different types of attraction you should maybe focus on trying to figure out what types of attraction you have. For me for example; when I am having sex or doing something sexual with either a man or a woman -- I am not at all focused on whether it's a man or a woman, just that it feels good and I want to make them feel good. It's kind of hard to distinguish whether you are gay/bi/straight or not from receiving a blowjob because lets face it, blowjobs are pretty good no matter what gender is on the other side.

How about emotionally or like physically. When you look at a man walking down the street do you take not if he is hot or not? Also have you ever known a guy that you had a sort of crush on? Don't get me wrong sexual attraction is definitely a big part of attraction but it can be confusing because you can be sexually attracted to much more than you would ever be emotionally attracted to.

In the end it's something only you can answer yourself I think. I came here asking the same question just a few weeks ago and as people gave advice and their opinions. And as everyone gave their awesome advice and opinions, I felt myself rejecting it because only really I could define myself. So post here, read what people have to say about their experiences and opinions and see what fits for you. In my experience things just naturally pop out and begin to make sense.

Oh and about the STD thing -- as someone who just started doing the same things as you like a couple months ago... I think it is totally normal and it could be the culprit behind turning you off. It definitely was for me. It's the whole societal stigma on gay sex and disease that gets in your head. Just be safe, you should irregardless of whether it is a man or a woman. If you need anyone to chat to hit up my wall!

Cheers

[thinkpink]

I was completely freaked out the first time I tried to go down on a girl, I couldn't do it! But I agree with what the others are saying about being in the right mindset! When I was and I eventually felt ready, I knew it was the right thing to do, I was still nervous though, so that's fine too...

[diniesaur]

I think probably everyone's nervous their first time--but I understand how people may not want to give blowjobs. Some people just don't like putting their mouths on smelly, ugly, bad-tasting protrusions, and that's okay. It doesn't make you not bisexual; it just means you probably prefer to do other kinds of sexual activities.

Edit: I forgot to mention that you CAN get STDs from oral sex, so Be Careful who you do that with.

[toremi]

Originally Posted by diniesaur

Some people just don't like putting their mouths on smelly, ugly, bad-tasting protrusions, and that's okay..

In all fairness they are all far from smelly, ugly and bad tasting protrusions. Just like vaginas some are rough fugly and some are works of art!

[Tracker57]

Casual random sex vs. sex with someone you care for. Hmmmmm. It sounds as if you were just test driving the equipment rather than ready to take it home with youl. I imagine that if you found someone you cared for, you'd do anything for him to make him happy. In fact, you'd probably initiate it. Don't beat yourself up.
Tracker

[Gravity]

Originally Posted by unknown12

*Viewer discretion advised*

Ok, so I was fooling around with this one guy tonight and he ended up giving me head. It was good until he requested that I give him head, I was scared to, and the first time I tired, I backed out.

Background: This was not the best setting to do anything intimate, and the other guy was high. I have been trying to accept myself too, and i'm afraid I will get a STD if I do something sexual.

Does this mean i'm straight? Is this common among gay people to be scared to give head.

I don't think it means much. If it was in an awkward place, he was high, and you didn't know if you could trust him to be safe, many other men, gay and bisexual, would have felt the same way you did, myself included.

[unknown12]

Originally Posted by Chip

It's very common, particularly if you're still questioning your sexuality, to be scared to give head -- or, for that matter, do anything with a person of the same sex.

Think about it: Just the way you've phrased the question sounds like perhaps part of you is still desperately hoping that you're straight. And if part of you doesn't want to be bi or gay, then it makes perfect sense that you'd be both attracted and repulsed at the same time.

So the real question is... were you aroused before he started giving you head? Were you feeling sort of excited (as well as nervous and anxious) during the encounter? IF the answers to those are "yes", then clearly you have attraction to guys. If you were imagining a girl giving you head when he was going down on you, or if the thought of him giving you head grossed you out... *then* there would be reason to question your attraction to guys. But I'm guessing that isn't the case.

I also have to say it's good in a way that you were anxious because of the concern about your safety. Because keeping yourself safe and healthy is really important, and it's clear that you have that as a priority. So, assuming you do have attraction to guys, the next step is to learn to be comfortable accepting that in yourself, and then, in turn, learn what you need to know to make intelligent decisions about what sort of sexual behavior to participate in, how to be safe, and so forth.

This is exactly how it is/was. I'm still trying to accept it and that day was the day that "I didn't want to deal with it" kind of day. I'm trying to find some truth in all of what happened. I think i'm still attracted to guy's, I think I need a better setting though. My parents at the moment are catching onto my second life, and that's not helping. If they question me again, I don't know what to tell them. How can I tell them what sexuality I am, if I have no clue myself? Ughh, just when I think I found a equilibrium in this process...

[Chip]

You can tell them you're questioning. Or you can tell them you're gay. Or bi. Or that you don't know. Tell them whatever your truth is at that moment. Probably the safest would be something like "I think I'm gay but I'm still questioning, and i need your support, and not your judgement, or your attempts to "sway" me in one direction or the other."

[Roland85]

You're gay if your dick points to guys. You're straight if it points to girls. Being freaked out by giving a guy blowjob in a stressing situation with no experience to back it up, AND you being uncomfortable with your sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with whether you're gay, straight, bi or an alien.

Also, hi everyone. First post

[HorrorShow]

Well, of course you're going to be uncomfortable if it was your first time! Also, given the circumstances, I truly think that would make anyone nervous. This doesn't mean you're not gay. I think you should put yourself in better situations to try and figure out what's right for you.
As for the STD thing, you're a smart lad. This doesn't mean you have to be completely paranoid about catching one, however. As long as you continue to remain smart and safe, you will be fine, dear.

[unknown12]

Originally Posted by Chip

You can tell them you're questioning. Or you can tell them you're gay. Or bi. Or that you don't know. Tell them whatever your truth is at that moment. Probably the safest would be something like "I think I'm gay but I'm still questioning, and i need your support, and not your judgement, or your attempts to "sway" me in one direction or the other."

Oh their attempts will not sway me. Iv'e gained enough comfortable and secure within myself in the past few weeks that, that opportunity is gone for them. I'm probably not going to go home again until I resolve this more.