i dont know what i am - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

lostprincess · 27th Jan 2012, 10:47 PM

Hey, I am a 21 yr old mom I have been with men my whole life and recently have found myself looking at lesbian porn I know it might be too much information but I really need input. I findsome women extremely attractive and beautiful but maybe I just have an extra great appreciation for a beautiful body most of the time the thought of doing anything with a women is unapealing unless its a super hot naked girl I find myself getting really turned on. I know i am attracted to men as long as they have nice bodies and are very well kept but lately my hubby and I have been having problems and havent been getting intimate so maybe im just deprived?? But I know when i look at stunning naked girls i find myself hot but never outside of like playboy models and porn I can't picture myself with any real girls ive actually met I am just so confused I need advice o.O

Queeran · 28th Jan 2012, 04:40 AM

In my opinion, I think people are too hung up on falling under a certain "label" instead of just feeling what they feel and accepting it as such. You like what you like and that's really no one's business but your own. Granted, some people feel more comfortable being put under a certain "label" because they attach their identity to that and it becomes a significant part of who they are.

If I were you, I'd just keep doing what you're already doing (meaning, experimenting with viewing lesbian porn) and see if anything progresses from there. It's 100% okay to find women attractive, regardless of your orientation. Even if you fall under a particular orientation, there's nothing wrong with being able to appreciate and attractive person of the opposite/same (depending on preference) sex.

**Jim1454** · 30th Jan 2012, 10:16 AM

Hi there and welcome to EC.

My advice would be to focus on the problems you and your husband are having and to work on them. To be unhappy in your marriage at 21 suggests that there's something going on that you need to work on. Your same sex attractions may be related and they may be secondary...

silverhalo · 30th Jan 2012, 01:42 PM

I agree with Jim1454 and I would just say that you might be attracted to women but it doesnt make you gay or bisexual just because you get turned on by lesbian porn.

27th Jan 2012, 10:47 PM	#1
lostprincess Newbie Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Posts: 3 Join Date: Jan 2012	i dont know what i am Hey, I am a 21 yr old mom I have been with men my whole life and recently have found myself looking at lesbian porn I know it might be too much information but I really need input. I findsome women extremely attractive and beautiful but maybe I just have an extra great appreciation for a beautiful body most of the time the thought of doing anything with a women is unapealing unless its a super hot naked girl I find myself getting really turned on. I know i am attracted to men as long as they have nice bodies and are very well kept but lately my hubby and I have been having problems and havent been getting intimate so maybe im just deprived?? But I know when i look at stunning naked girls i find myself hot but never outside of like playboy models and porn I can't picture myself with any real girls ive actually met I am just so confused I need advice o.O

28th Jan 2012, 04:40 AM	#2
Queeran Making hirself comfy. Regular Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: I like women. Out Status: Everyone except for most extended family. Location: Central Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 61 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: i dont know what i am In my opinion, I think people are too hung up on falling under a certain "label" instead of just feeling what they feel and accepting it as such. You like what you like and that's really no one's business but your own. Granted, some people feel more comfortable being put under a certain "label" because they attach their identity to that and it becomes a significant part of who they are. If I were you, I'd just keep doing what you're already doing (meaning, experimenting with viewing lesbian porn) and see if anything progresses from there. It's 100% okay to find women attractive, regardless of your orientation. Even if you fall under a particular orientation, there's nothing wrong with being able to appreciate and attractive person of the opposite/same (depending on preference) sex. __________________ I've got a sneaking suspicion that hindsight only favors good vision, but I'm not one to complain when it's all I dream of. ♥

30th Jan 2012, 10:16 AM	#3
Jim1454 EC 'Dad' EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 41 Posts: 7,449 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: i dont know what i am Hi there and welcome to EC. My advice would be to focus on the problems you and your husband are having and to work on them. To be unhappy in your marriage at 21 suggests that there's something going on that you need to work on. Your same sex attractions may be related and they may be secondary... __________________ Jim "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

30th Jan 2012, 01:42 PM	#4
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,166 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: i dont know what i am I agree with Jim1454 and I would just say that you might be attracted to women but it doesnt make you gay or bisexual just because you get turned on by lesbian porn.