Anxiety over college sports club

[sguyc]

Hi, I found this site a few months ago and it really helped me get over the hump of coming out. I told some of my good high school friends over Christmas break. That was somewhat scary, but I knew them so well that I wasn't afraid at all of them not accepting me and it went as I expected.

I am more anxious about coming out to friends and teammates in college because I'm simply not as comfortable with them yet.

I play club rugby at my university for fun because I like the exercise and competition and rugby is really fun (I mainly run the ball). I am friends with 2-3 of the guys on the team and am getting an apartment with them next year, the rest I only see at rugby related stuff. I feel like I will eventually tell the future roomates, but I am not comfortable with the whole team knowing, and I doubt it can be kept secret for long. I am a pretty reserved guy, so I am already somewhat out of place on a team that is full of hyper-masculine, extroverted guys. Not saying those dudes aren't fun to be around, but I wouldn't say I relate to most of the people on the team very well. I am not especially quick witted when it comes to jokes and combacks and stuff so I don't think I would be able to throw back the inevitable shit I'd get even if its lighthearted in nature.

Does anyone have an experience with coming out in sports clubs, or fraternities seeing as its a similar kind of atmosphere?

[Sunsetting]

originally i wasn't going to post here because i would feel like an idiot, having little or no experience in this arena... and i can imagine it would be difficult.

that being said, as i considered what you wrote, i became less threatened realizing that it's pretty much the same as any situation where a person can be anxious about coming out to someone. i would encourage you to take a more individual approach. one-on-one, get to know people as individuals, that's the way it is everywhere. eventually, you will see who might be the most appropriate person to share with.

the most important thing is to realize that you are part of this team because of your skills...gay, strait or even if you're a carrot lol...so work on friendships first, then if you find that it's something you want to share...by all means share...

and thanks for posting, that's a really courageous step mate