Worried what Will Happen

[fedora777]

So Im attracted to guys but everyone I know has a 'distaste' for gay people, except for a few friends of whom I've told. It's my senior year and feel obligated to tell my parents because I have a strong bond with them but at the same time I don't want to because of what they might think. I really just want to tell the world that Im gay, but because I teach 6th grade religious education at church, because Im an Eagle Scout, and because I am very active in my youth group, Im afraid I will lose those and all the people i've become good friends with.

I recently moved, this past summer so the people I do know here I have only known for about a half a year. But everyone back home doesn't really know.

[Gravity]

Well, on the one hand, it's good that you're comfortable with yourself - you know how you feel and you want to tell people about it. Two awesome things.

On the other hand, I can understand your reluctance to speak up in some of these contexts, especially since you're new to the area. Do you know what you're doing after high school? I'm just wondering what sort of situation you'll be transitioning into, since that may affect some of your options at this point.

[Mister Gaga]

I can't understand why you feel the need to tell the world...
I can understand that sometimes, you might come out to someone that you really love, and that's really close to you, and to whom you don't want to lie, I think that's the point of coming out, but coming out the every single person you know is pointless and dangerous, at least where I live.

I personnally tell everyone who asks me, but I don't feel the need to tell the world, I didn't tell my parents yet, so I can't help you on this.

Oh and don't worry that much, if you come out to the right people, life will just brighten

Wish you luck!

[Ianthe]

The problem is, staying in the closet just makes all those things start to feel phony. All of your relationships with people are undermined, because you feel like they wouldn't accept the real you.

It's possible that you haven't gotten there yet, but eventually your role church and as an Eagle Scout will start to feel hollow. And I think the Eagle Scouts take some oaths related to honesty as well, and if you are concealing your sexuality, there will be times that you feel that it's in conflict with your integrity.

Ultimately, you are only in charge of what you do. What other people do is up to them. It's up to you to be true to yourself and honest and fair in your dealings with other people--how they respond is their responsibility, and you can't control it.

You can't decide whether to be gay. You can only decide whether to tell the truth, or to lie about it. How will you feel, teaching younger kids about honesty if you are constantly hiding the truth about yourself?

There are churches and other organizations that will accept you for who you are, and you can resume your involvement in those things through those groups, in a way that will allow you to preserve your integrity, so that those things that are so meaningful to you do not become hollow.

[fedora777]

Gravity, after high school i a, going to college in either ohio, new york, or alaska and then after that I plan on going into the peace corps

[Gravity]

Well, going to college anyplace will make it easier to be out there - obviously in New York, but even in Alaska, and there will be campus groups for lgbt students, and so forth.

I don't know about the peace corps, I don't know a lot of people in it, but I would imagine that the actual infrastructure and the people you'll be working with will be, in general, pretty welcoming. Plus if you've had some time in college you might be more comfortable with it there.

So, I suppose what I'm getting at, is that there are some brighter moments on the horizon for you, even if the idea of being out at home now is hard. In the meantime, though, do you know of anyone where you are who might be comfortable knowing about it? Even having just one person to talk to would probably help a lot. And you might find that person somewhere you wouldn't expect - my ex (also an eagle scout) talked to his scout master about it, and he was very accepting and encouraging.

[fedora777]

I do have one friend that actually enjoys listening. She's a big help when Im in good and bad moods a like Except she doesn't live around me so it's confined to texts which sucks. But i see what you mean. Im just not sure who it might be though so we shall see. Thanks

[Gravity]

Well, maybe you can call her sometime, or chat over skype or something. All kids of ways to keep in touch, and if there's someone out there that can help, go for it.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!