Should I tell my best friend?

Hi,

I posted on here for the first time yesterday.

I don't know if I'm gay yet but I have feelings for a best friend which probably fall outside of the normal boundary of friendship. I have questioned whether her feelings are the same but lets assume her feelings aren't reciprocal... what should I do?

Should I tell her and clarify her lack of feelings towards me so I can try and move on I guess or go on in silence still questioning whether she feels the same and feeling really hurt all of the time?

The answer perhaps sounds obvious but I really don't want to jeopardise our friendship which I think it could as she would inevitably distance herself if she doesn't feel the same/ doesn't want to admit she does. Also, she would probably instantly assume I'm gay which I probably am but don't want her to assume I am before I have actually decided myself.

Bleugh! Its been a decisive day.

[silverhalo]

Welcome to EC, im sure lots of other people will chip in with their advice but I did think perhaps you could bring the subject up by telling her you think you might have feelings for girls (not specific girls but just girls in general) and almost use it to test the water, you dont have to tell her you like her and chances are if she feels anything like you she may also spill the beans that she has had similar feelings in which case you could then admit to feelings towards her if you wanted to.

Hi Silverhalo, thanks for your reply. What you say is actually quite a good idea. However, I don't think it would be necessarily true as I've never been attracted to girls before.. Maybe that's because I haven't thought about it like that before but I only have feelings for her at this moment in time?