How to come out to my twin sister??

[DJNay]

So the last two years have been a self discovery for me and ive come to realize that im gay, ive been away from my twin sister these last two years studying overseas in Australia and she lives in South Africa. Im back home at the mo, but only have a week left and then i wont be back for atleast a year. i told myself that id come out to her this holiday, im still closeted to my parents. But the thing is i dont know how, i tried coming ou to my older brother (He also lives in Aus with me) and he turned around and said Im not gay, so that idea just burned and died. My twin sister is highly religious, seriously Christian, im not so much, and because of this i dont know what she'll think... My parents are homophobic, well atleast my mom is, she thinks its "bad blood" and gay people are "confused", my dad is just like whatever...

Any thoughts or suggestions...

[Jim1454]

What do you have to gain by coming out? Do you think things will be more awkward, or less awkward? I'm not convinced based on what you've shared here.

Are you sure that your brother didn't share your news with family when you came out to him (or tried to come out)? Perhaps they already know...

[DJNay]

i read that theres a high possibillity with twins that she could be gay too, i havent seen her with any guys but she did have a close relationship with a girl friend of hers a few years back, so im interested and curious. i know my brother hasnt told anyone because my family would have confronted me but they havent, my mom still talks to me about being with guys.

[HorrorShow]

Truthfully, I think you should just tell her. Ask her to respect your privacy until you are ready and keep it between the two of you. You've got to do what it right for you, rather that's getting it off of your chest and telling her, or keeping it to yourself if it makes you more comfortable. Either way, you should NEVER be ashamed of who you are, darling. If you do decide to come out and they can't accept you for your inner beauty, they are losing one brilliant girl. I went through a lot with my family and friends when I first started to come out. I mean, anything they could throw at me I got, but I will tell you one thing. It will ALWAYS turn out good in the end. Where else is there to go but up?

[DJNay]

@Horrorshow thanks for that! youre awesome. i thnk il sleep on it before i decide...

[Roland85]

I feel that if the closest people to you care for you, they will adjust their views based on their feelings for you, and not the feelings based on their bigotry. And if they DO change their attitude, that just tells you how little they really care.

It is a sad reality that while we can choose who we're friends with, our family is a default setting we can't change. But in the end, you need to be out and completely free of guilt and shame. Coming out to the immediate family is the hardest thing in the process, but one it's done, you'll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, regardless of how bad they respond.

Just remember - what they think of you and your sexuality has NOTHING to do with who you are. And if they care about you, they WILL get over it with time. Expect bad reaction and be ready to NOT lash back. Just be firm. It is what it is, it is nobody's fault and it is NOT a bad thing. If they want to think it is, that's their problem.

[greeneyes]

AS A TWIN MYSELF I would say the best thing to do is be honest!

I have a twin brother, so it's a bit different. But what I do know is that as a twin, despite whatever goes on and has happened, there is still this indescribable bond between us as twins - we've gone through everything together at the same age...I don't know how to describe it, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

I sort of dropped a comment in casually when we were drunk, which was stupid and I should have a real talk with him, but he's the casual easy-going type so it was almost better. Regardless, he took it really well - meaning that he didn't care (actually he found it cool haha) - I don't think he was particularly surprised honestly.

The most important thing I got out of it was keeping up our relationship - the more honest you are, the closer you can get with someone. I didn't want to be hiding something from him, and I feel like even if I get a bad reaction from him about something, initially or otherwise (since let's face it, twins are competitive and sometimes that gets in the way of things!), I know we'll always love each other.

Also I agree with the privacy comment above - I asked my bro not to tell anyone, and he respected that. I haven't told all of my family yet, and it's important to do that on my own time.

I had a pretty hard time coming out to my mother though, who said I was probably just going through a phase, but some time (and some distance) has helped a lot with that.