Grandma Hospitalized

[J Snow]

Hey all,

Not really LGBT related but just got a text message from my mother informing me my grandma is going to the hospital. She fell and at the least broke her hip. They just took some X-Rays, so I'm kind of waiting on more information now.

Now, normally this would be bad enough news, but as some people on here may know, my only real form of employment is taking care of her because she wasn't really independent enough to stay on her own anymore. Now I'm in a situation where I don't know if I need to start looking for a new job. I don't know if she'll be returning home or not. I don't know what will happen to her house for that matter.

I'm really unsure what to do. I've kind of been stuck living at home to take care of her, instead of living in my college town (about an hour commute because I have to park off campus and take a bus). I don't really want to find a good job in Des Moines because I'm sick of being stuck at home.

I don't really know what to expect from all this. I have been watching her get senile and confused for so long over such a gradual time that I think I thought I would have desensitized myself by now, thinking that "the person I knew when I was a child is already gone." I probably won't get to see her tonight, but I think its going to be difficult seeing her in the hospital. Chances are she won't even remember how she got there or what happened =(

All of this would happen the day after me and my bf decide to try to quit smoking too...

Anyway, just random venting, not really site related I guess. Kind of related to my whole being stuck in life thing to an extent though =/

[55butnotalive]

Sorry that this is going on for you. You know you have a lot of virtual support here!

Give it a day or two for the dust to settle. Maybe your options will become clearer.

55bna

[EM68]

I'm sorry for your grandma. Both of my grandmothers broke their hips. They both were in the hospital for about a week then went to a rehab hospital for another 3 or 4 weeks. A lot of it will depend on how your grandma heals. I would may just start looking around just incase she is in a hospital for a while. It would not hurt. Hope she gets better soon!

[Chouchou]

Sorry to hear about your grandma's hospitalization.

Like 55butnotalive said, wait a couple days for more information to come in before making your decision, since everything is pretty much up in the air right now. When you're informed of the physicians' evaluation of her situation, it will at least give you a short-term basis upon which to make a decision of what to do next.

[seeksanctuary]

My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm sorry to hear about this. :[ And even though you can get used to the fact that a family member is getting old and not remembering things anymore, it's still difficult to deal with when something happens and really reminds you how bad things have gotten.

Good luck with kicking the smoking habit, though; that's good of you to quit smoking.

Hang in there.

[J Snow]

Hey everyone, thanks for the responses. Sorry it has taken me so long to post.

Well, she had surgery yesterday, and I got to go see her and find out some more details about how she was found. Its a bit gross, and its really bothering me. Basically she was probably on her way to the bathroom when it happened, and after she fell and broke her hip, she had an accident too. It was all over her when they found her, and she was probably there for at least a couple hours before my aunt found her. I just can't get the image out of my head, and its really bothering me.

I feel guilty. I know that I wasn't even there, and its not my fault she fell, but I got paid just to go over and spend time with her, and I didn't give her the attention I should have. I sat on the computer, and watched TV and tuned her out. I feel so bad for her, and I wish I could go back and spend one normal night with her in her home giving her the attention she wanted =(

When I got off the elevator to see her, I didn't even need to look for her room. I heard her shouting the name of my aunt (who lives with her) from the elevator, despite her being on the complete end of the hall. She kept either trying to eat her oxygen tube, or she thought it was a straw or something because she kept trying to put it in her mouth.

I apologize, I know this isn't relevent to the site, but its just really bothering me, and I can't help but feel responsible somehow. I think if there is one positive thing about all this is that its making me realize that I make myself feel guilty for a lot of stuff in my life that I'm not really responsible for (e.g. my parents not accepting my sexuality/gender [even though they don't know about the gender stuff]).

Oh, and as a side note, I was really tempted to go buy a pack after hearing this news, but I've been holding strong and haven't smoked a cigarette still.

[EM68]

Don't beat yourself up for not being there when you grandma fell. Its an accident, unfortunately it does happen. Even if you were there she might have fallen while trying to get to the bathroom. You don't need to apologize for posting this on EC. Its a support website and there are times when people need to vent about other things that are going on in their lives. Also good job is staying strong and not smoking during this tough time.