I cant be gay because Im catholic

[kylegf2011]

So today I was talking with my mom and something came up about religion (nothing to do with homosexuality) and I said I didnt agree with that, and then sho got very angry. She said she couldnt believe that with me being catholic I would "disqualify" them and stuff (which I dont, there are just some things I dont agree with) and that when someone mention homosexuals I defend them and say they have rights. I havent talked about homosexuality that much, when someone brings the topic up, I just leave, or not say a word. But now I am the most dedicated defender of gays. And then she said, "and I hope youre not a homosexual, because youre catholic, and thats wrong!" I didnt say anything, I just went back to the topic we were discussing originally, but it felt bad.

Its not as if I had anything to do with it right? Theres no way to stop being gay as far as I know, I mean a a psychologist cant change you right?

[Ace17]

No one can change another person,accepting who you are is the best thing to do honestly......Your mother just wants what is right for you,the way your mother was raised she did not question religion,you however do...being gay is perfectly fine,it just takes others longer to see that.

no credible psychologist would even try to change someones orientation and most agree that such "reparative" therapy is actually harmful to a persons psyche. Most psychologist also agree that there's nothing inherently wrong with being gay either, its society's hang-ups (like your mother's) that cause psychological harm.

as for the can't-be-gay-cuz-you're-catholic bit, well, that's for you to decide. a lot of catholics are gay and happy, even if the pope denounces it. imho, a man who walks around in gold lace capes and tall hats making people kiss his ring sounds kinda gay to me lol...jk

[Lexington]

I was raised Catholic, and I'm gay. So yeah, it happens. I didn't sign up for the gay program, or pray to God to make me gay. That's just how God decided I was going to turn out. And I'm quite happy with God's work, to be honest.

Lex

[malachite]

Ask them what Jesus said about being gay (the answer is not a thing).

The same text that talks about homosexuality being "wrong" (Leviticus 18:22) also says that the following is wrong:

Eatting Shellfish (Leviticus 11:9-12)
Red Meat (19:26)
Wearing polyester (Leviticus 19:19 )

So unless they abide by all these rules their arguments are invalid.
If they scoff and say aomething like "those rules don't count" inform them that perhaps what is wrong is using the Bible to attack people and justify their own beliefs. Cause, ya know, thats probably gonna piss God off.

Originally Posted by Lexington

I didn't sign up for the gay program

wait, WHAT!!?? There's a gay program? Why didn't anyone tell me, I think I've been doing it wrong lol

[nydtc]

There's a program too! I am still waiting for my copy of the gay agenda - seems like it should have been here by now!

[dreamcatcher]

Well I'm gay and catholic too (although recently God and I haven't been on the best of terms). So I know it seems a bit contradicting, considering the church teaches that we are "intrinsically disordered" but you'll find that there are a lot of people who are catholic and gay. In fact, there's this catholic organization in the US called DignityUSA that supports glbt catholics and helps them embrace who they are. So it's possible to be gay and catholic. It's just a matter of being able to reconcile the two and being at peace with that decision.

[Roland85]

You can be Catholic and gay. Also, you can be gay and NOT Catholic. Unlike sexual orientation, your religion is a choice. I am generally not a fan of things that actively ask you not to think for yourself and accept stuff written by other people as holy scripture.

[nydtc]

Posted too quick - I too was raise Catholic. But I am gay.
Can't change it, not sure I would want too.
I have always had a hard time with the you must committ to our way of thinking 100% of the time thinking of the Church.
If you believe in God and the idea that God made man in his image then God must be 5-10% gay -jk

[DhammaGamer]

In my opinion, a worthwhile religion is supposed to do 4 things.
1) Explain human suffering
2) Explain the cause of human suffering
3) Explain what it means to be free from human suffering
4) Explain how to end human suffering
If your religion does not do these things, perhaps it is not a worthwhile religion.

[scooby]

Kyle, I am having exactly the same problems - though Baptist, not Catholic, it's similarly non-gay-friendly and strict.

Memorize those Bible verses malachite gave you in his post, because it sounds like you're going to come up against some heavy opposition. I haven't come out to my family yet, but I'm "girding my loins" against the day I do. Just know that it's worth it in the end, to be truly yourself and not what someone else thinks you should be. There is NO WAY to be happy in the latter.

[ukeye]

I saw a post around here saying that catholics, do in fact accept homosexuality as present in the community.. however the act of engaging in homosexuality is against the church?

I don't know - I am catholic, and I grew up in the whole catholic schooling and such, and am gay. I have nothing to compare it to, but I know some devout catholics who absolutely accept me.. I also know some catholic priests who seem absolutely homosexual. I don't believe that god wishes that gay people suffer more than anyone else.. we are all created equal under gods roof, right?

People interpret the bible in 2 different ways - metaphorically or literally.. opening up the book and pointing at a passage to explain all is definitely not the 'correct' use of the book. It is a holistic 'guide' to be taken for its meaning, not literally word for word. Your mum is probably just doing her mum thing out of concern. Catholicism used to be a lot more full on in our parents days.. my mum is always saying 'those nuns have a lot to answer for'.. their strictness still play a role in her day to day life. Really, its a parenting thing.. and what better tool than the powerful old catholic church to use. I would put my money that she would accept you if you came out.

[yeahyeah]

And I'm quite happy with God's work, to be honest.

yep me too

[fedora777]

ukeye is absolutely right. i am gay and catholic and the people i've told that are catholic (which is quite a few) have accepted me because of how good of friends we are. they don't have a problem with it. ukeye is also correct on the fact that the church accept homosexuals just not the act of engaging in homosexuality, sex and stuff. As for your mum she just sounds like she'd be afraid of how other people would react to the whole gay thing

[TheEdend]

Originally Posted by ukeye

I saw a post around here saying that catholics, do in fact accept homosexuality as present in the community.. however the act of engaging in homosexuality is against the church?

Yep, its a ridiculous stance, but its true. They hate the sin not the sinner.

Like other people have already said, your religion doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. It doesn't stop your from being gay and it doesn't make you gay. I was raised in as a roman catholic so I know how frustrating it can all be. Parents seem to change fairly quickly once one of their kids come out, though. Even my grandma who is ridiculously religious, who I just recently came out to, is okay with it even though she says she rather me "choose" to be with a girl.

You are right, there isn't any way to change your sexual orientation. Anyone that claims to be able to or that has is very ill informed about the subject.

Catholics are a funny bunch, though. Most people don't really care about condoms, alcohol, abortion or pre-martial sex, but we certainly care a lot about homosexuality. Hopefully one day it all changes.

[djstcktn326]

Originally Posted by DhammaGamer

In my opinion, a worthwhile religion is supposed to do 4 things.
1) Explain human suffering
2) Explain the cause of human suffering
3) Explain what it means to be free from human suffering
4) Explain how to end human suffering
If your religion does not do these things, perhaps it is not a worthwhile religion.

That's very well said, Dhamma. Nam myoho renge kyo.

[Gleeko0]

I was raised Catholic, i had a very religious youth, when i was 7-10 i used to go and study the bible 2 or 3 times per week, and every weekend went to the church.

I ended up pretty much Bisexual, well not that i wasn't already, i just figured out and accepted it, and i ended up Agnostic/Atheist (whatever, i don't care so people can call me anything).

This may not be the case of course, but i see many people being raised in a vey religious way and environment and end up choosing completely different paths and instead of denying its sexuality (if that is the case) they embrace it :P.


And no..there is no way to "stop" being gay...its part of who you are.

Other ECrs already said, these psychologists who ""fix"" gay people, are NOT credible and this was proven to be harmful to people. And "results" never last

[Koll]

My ex was a Christian, and never really came to terms with his sexuality because of that. It's a shame too, really.

If you ask me, It's the same thing as being a ginger; Why can't a ginger be a Christian? (Well they can but you get what I mean)

[55butnotalive]

I was raised Catholic and it was a big factor in why I didn't realize I was gay until long after I was married. I grew up in the 60's and 70's. I was taught that pre-marital sex was wrong and believed it was one of the many tickets the Church offered to hell. I decided that I would wait until I was married to have sex. Even though my wife (of 35 years) was a staunch Catholic too, she has told me that if I would have wanted sex, she would have had it. I didn't know that my ability to abstain was partly due to me not feeling the same overwhelming desires to have sex that my straight peers had. I thought they were just weak. Long story short, after I was married (I was 20 and she was 19) for several years, I stumbled into some men's room sex that turned into frequent adult bookstore sex. I just recently have admitted that I'm totally gay and have started coming out this month.

I guess what I want to say is, if the Church hadn't prohibited me from having sex before marriage, I would have realized straight sex wasn't fulfilling before I made my "til death do us part" vow.

Currently, I am very spiritual, and not at all religious. If I ever go back to church it'll be to one that is accepting and supportive of me as I am. It'll be for the community it offers, not the dogma. If you think about it, organized religion (not just Christianity) is and always has been a major factor in the pain and suffering endured by all humans through the ages. At the top levels it's more about power and greed than it is about salvation.

Am I bitter - yes! However, there were many good things that came out of my situation - a wonderful (soon-to-be ex) wife, three great kids, and all the friends I've made along the life path I chose. For them I would do it all over again - just not for 35 years.

Live YOUR life!!