My dad...:/ - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Tiny Catastrophe · 3rd Feb 2012, 09:04 AM

I've been thinking a lot about my dad and when to come out to him or if I even want to. He barely talks to me anymore. I only exist every few weeks or months when he decides to call me which is not easy to deal with because when I was younger I was daddy's little girl and was always with him. He knows I've dated girls and I told him I was bi when I was 16 but I'm pretty sure he thinks me liking girls is a phase. Him and my stepmom always tell me how much I'm like my cousin (minus the drug addiction) and how I used to want to be like her when we were younger so I'm pretty sure they think I've dated girls because my cousin did when she was younger and that I'll "grow out of it" like she did. He already looks down on me and says I'm an embarrassment so I feel like if I come out to him it'll just make things even worse than they already are. I mean he plans on moving out of state soon and I know that once he does that I probably won't ever see him again. Part of me does want to come out to him and show him how happy I am and how I found someone I want to be with for the rest of my life (he's already met my girlfriend but doesn't know she's my girlfriend and he likes her). But I feel like he'll reject me even more than he already is. Should I even bother coming out to him or just let it go and hold onto what little is left of the relationship I have with him while I still have it?

TraceElement · 3rd Feb 2012, 09:23 AM

What do you think about writing him a letter or email about how you feel about your relationship with him changing? You don't nessisarily have to come out to him again right now, but see if he wants to make a go of trying to build up the relationship between you two.
If he wants to work on trying to get the relationship better, I feel like you then may want to consider sharing that part of your life with him.
My thinking is if you come out to him now is... if he doesnt want to work on the relationship, it may seem like he "rejected" you because of who you like, which may not be true.
Sorry if this is kind of jumbled, but let me know if you need me to explain something

3rd Feb 2012, 09:04 AM	#1
Tiny Catastrophe Love is genderless <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: 2 sisters, mom, friends, school Location: New Yorkish Age: 19 Posts: 863 Join Date: Jun 2009	My dad...:/ I've been thinking a lot about my dad and when to come out to him or if I even want to. He barely talks to me anymore. I only exist every few weeks or months when he decides to call me which is not easy to deal with because when I was younger I was daddy's little girl and was always with him. He knows I've dated girls and I told him I was bi when I was 16 but I'm pretty sure he thinks me liking girls is a phase. Him and my stepmom always tell me how much I'm like my cousin (minus the drug addiction) and how I used to want to be like her when we were younger so I'm pretty sure they think I've dated girls because my cousin did when she was younger and that I'll "grow out of it" like she did. He already looks down on me and says I'm an embarrassment so I feel like if I come out to him it'll just make things even worse than they already are. I mean he plans on moving out of state soon and I know that once he does that I probably won't ever see him again. Part of me does want to come out to him and show him how happy I am and how I found someone I want to be with for the rest of my life (he's already met my girlfriend but doesn't know she's my girlfriend and he likes her). But I feel like he'll reject me even more than he already is. Should I even bother coming out to him or just let it go and hold onto what little is left of the relationship I have with him while I still have it? __________________ Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you cant remember a time in your life when it wasnt but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because its so unfamiliar. Then in that moment you realize you're happy.

3rd Feb 2012, 09:23 AM	#2
TraceElement The one and only Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Kinsey 4 Out Status: to most people who matter Location: Rochester, NY Age: 23 Posts: 455 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: My dad...:/ What do you think about writing him a letter or email about how you feel about your relationship with him changing? You don't nessisarily have to come out to him again right now, but see if he wants to make a go of trying to build up the relationship between you two. If he wants to work on trying to get the relationship better, I feel like you then may want to consider sharing that part of your life with him. My thinking is if you come out to him now is... if he doesnt want to work on the relationship, it may seem like he "rejected" you because of who you like, which may not be true. Sorry if this is kind of jumbled, but let me know if you need me to explain something __________________ Carpe Diem- Grab life by the balls, one day at a time.