Comments?

[unknown12]

Well I have come to the conclusion that I am into girls more than guy's. I think the reason I was so confused was because, I was scared of women's private areas. After being with a girl and guy now I have come to the conclusion that my heart pumps more when I am with a girl. When I was with my previous girlfriend, I was really horny and my heart was pumping alot, I could not explain the feeling. I feel more comfortable with a girl. With a guy, I think more of him as a brother. And, after seeing private part of a guy, it really does not excite me as much as I thought. I'm just questioning to why I like gay porn so much. But i'm sure straight porn will turn me on even more, because I have never tried it. I am considering going to a straight counselor to undo what mental damage/progress I have made.

Any comment's on this?

[insidehappy]

go to the counselor. i do not think they will "undo" anything though. they will hopefully help you to see that you were just trying to figure yourrself out and you have. therefore, no biggie. but if you think by going to them you are going to "undo" any level of attraction to men, that's not going to happen. at best, you will be able to learn more about sexuality, how other people have done what you did, and how it actually is good that you have gotten this curiosity out of the way earlier in life. sexuality is fluid. in 5 years, you may have increased attractions for men again. who knows. the fact that you focus on gay porn adn not straight porn should be discussed with teh counselor. the fact that you want to "undo" and you think there's potential "damage" indicates some level of shame. so it would sound like to me that you may not have been able to really allow yourself mentally to "like" a guy becuase you had a lot of walls up. you may have gone in telling yourself "not to like it" and you got that result. or you could just really be more into women than men. either way, talk to a counselor to try and get a better understanding of where you are.

[silverhalo]

Just because you like watching gay porn it doesnt make you gay, its quite possible you are bisexual but with a preference for girls, I dont think you have done any damage, you thought you might be gay you tried it and concluded that for the moment at least you prefer girls. Often people can get turned on by something without ever actually wanting to partake in it. So I could get turned on my gay porn but I dont want to be a guy or be with a guy, its just one of those things. If you think that going to a counselor will help you then go for it, but I wouldnt worry to much about it, just set your sights on checking out the hot girls.

[Tiny Catastrophe]

I don't think you need to go as far as to a "straight counselor". I don't think you've done "mental damage" to yourself by experimenting. You're still young and young people experiment. So you don't like guys as much as you thought you did, so what? And from what you've written, you never said you completely don't like guys. I think you're overreacting a bit and trying to convince yourself you're completely straight for whatever reason. That's just how I see it based on what you've written here.

[Chip]

Hi.

A couple thoughts for you:

First, a "straight counselor" or "reparative therapist" will do far more damage, and confuse the hell out of you. Their agenda isn't helping you find out the truth, it's convincing you that you're straight, and that isn't going to help you.

Second, it's possible you experimented and tried out being with guys, and didn't like it, and are genuinely straight. But it's also possible (and, based on what I've seen, perhaps more likely) that some part of you is very, very deeply afraid of, or ashamed of the possibility that you might be gay. If that's the case, then your mind may be playing tricks on you to convince yourself that what you feel isn't really sexual attraction but something else. That's a very common rationalization for people who are in the process of exploring who they are. Basically, a form of rationalization.

Porn can be a good indicator, but as others have said, sometimes people have unusual tastes in porn. So the bigger questions to ask yourself look at a bunch of factors:

-- If you don't consciously think about it, where do you find your eyes going when you're out on the street, or, better yet, at the beach or at the pool? Is it guys or girls? or both?

-- When you masturbate without porn, what are you imagining? Guys? Girls? Both?

-- When you are having sex, you may be horny... but are you thinking about the girl, and being with her and how hot that is, or does your mind wander, and maybe you think about guys?

-- And as for porn... definitely take a look at some straight porn. In particular, look at some girl-girl porn. The majority of straight guys are very turned on by girl-girl porn (nearly all of it is shot for straight men, so that's why I don't call it 'lesbian porn') so see what it does for you. And if you watch straight porn, notice if you're paying attention to the girls, or to the guys in it.

If you can answer all of those questions honestly, it will give you some better insight about what's going on for you. But to get an honest answer, you have to be open to what the true answer is, rather than to try to justify the answer you want to be true... and that can be tricky if there's a lot of emotional loading on one particular outcome.

But in any case, don't even consider going to a reparative therapist. Their work is considered unethical and ineffective by every major reputable professional association.

[unknown12]

Originally Posted by Chip

Hi.

A couple thoughts for you:

First, a "straight counselor" or "reparative therapist" will do far more damage, and confuse the hell out of you. Their agenda isn't helping you find out the truth, it's convincing you that you're straight, and that isn't going to help you.

Second, it's possible you experimented and tried out being with guys, and didn't like it, and are genuinely straight. But it's also possible (and, based on what I've seen, perhaps more likely) that some part of you is very, very deeply afraid of, or ashamed of the possibility that you might be gay. If that's the case, then your mind may be playing tricks on you to convince yourself that what you feel isn't really sexual attraction but something else. That's a very common rationalization for people who are in the process of exploring who they are. Basically, a form of rationalization.

Porn can be a good indicator, but as others have said, sometimes people have unusual tastes in porn. So the bigger questions to ask yourself look at a bunch of factors:

-- If you don't consciously think about it, where do you find your eyes going when you're out on the street, or, better yet, at the beach or at the pool? Is it guys or girls? or both?

-- When you masturbate without porn, what are you imagining? Guys? Girls? Both?

-- When you are having sex, you may be horny... but are you thinking about the girl, and being with her and how hot that is, or does your mind wander, and maybe you think about guys?

-- And as for porn... definitely take a look at some straight porn. In particular, look at some girl-girl porn. The majority of straight guys are very turned on by girl-girl porn (nearly all of it is shot for straight men, so that's why I don't call it 'lesbian porn') so see what it does for you. And if you watch straight porn, notice if you're paying attention to the girls, or to the guys in it.

If you can answer all of those questions honestly, it will give you some better insight about what's going on for you. But to get an honest answer, you have to be open to what the true answer is, rather than to try to justify the answer you want to be true... and that can be tricky if there's a lot of emotional loading on one particular outcome.

But in any case, don't even consider going to a reparative therapist. Their work is considered unethical and ineffective by every major reputable professional association.

Yes, I did look at the guy's private parts in the porno. But when it came to real life, it was all nasty looking. ive seen like 6 guy's private parts and it's not all that interesting. That makes me think about, how interesting a girls one is. Kinda think about it when I was with this guy, i kinda humped him heterosexuality as if he had a girls private parts. maybe the reason i am looking at guy's is because i want was they have to impress the lady's. but i don't know. any thoughts on this comment? anyone?

[Chip]

Hi,

You didn't answer the most important overall questions, relating to what you're attracted to: What do you imagine when you masturbate (guys or girls), when you're having sex, are you involved and thinking about the girl you're with, or thinking about guys, and who are you looking at when out in public.

Whether or not you thought a half-dozen guys' penises were attractive is not a reliable predictor of whether or not you're gay... but the stuff above is more so. So... answer those q's and you'll have a better idea of what's going on.

[unknown12]

Originally Posted by Chip

Hi,

You didn't answer the most important overall questions, relating to what you're attracted to: What do you imagine when you masturbate (guys or girls), when you're having sex, are you involved and thinking about the girl you're with, or thinking about guys, and who are you looking at when out in public.

Whether or not you thought a half-dozen guys' penises were attractive is not a reliable predictor of whether or not you're gay... but the stuff above is more so. So... answer those q's and you'll have a better idea of what's going on.

I was thinking about my ex gf when I did that stuff with that guy the other night. and the thought that was going through my head the entire time was "ugh i wish it was a *girls private part*".