Do you think he was intereseted in the chat?

[subaru000]

I guess this is one of those ''after-the-fact'' kinds of posts, but some insight would be cool. For some context, this happened in the afternoon today, and we were going to the store for some stuff.

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My mom, brother and I went into the Dollar General nearby, and we were looking for some basic things. There's always this lady (she's 23) that my mom talks to when we get there, and she tends to look at me whenever we go there for some reason. Once when we were finally ready to check out, I saw this guy. He had to have been my height, average build, black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was there and I noticed that there were some girls and he 'smiled' at them, but it seemed kind of forced and kind of passive, at least to me. After the girls exited, the cashier took care of an elderly lady's items, but the elderly lady took a while getting her money all together, which ended up lasting a few minutes. I wasn't really expecting anything, but I noticed that he looked at me once and smiled in a sympathetic kind of way, which got my heart racing. A few seconds later, I tried to think of a way to keep the stare-action going, so I got a bottle of Tru-Moo (a chocolate milk brand) but coming back I noticed that the line was too long..... Anywho, what kind of upsetted me was that there was the Coca-Cola guy there doing inventory and he asked the guy to help him with some papers, so he had to go, and the said lady my mom talked to ended up ringing us up... Even worse, my mom pointed out my muscles to the lady (they apparently stick out when I'm not using them) and that made her smile even more... After that experience, we went to another store, but I felt a determination that I haven't felt in a while. And, I still wanted the Tru-Moo too.

Fifteen or twenty minutes after leaving the second store, I decided to go to the first store on my own. This time, there wasn't anyone at the registers and the line grew to be long. A few seconds later, the lady and the guy ended up walking from the back, and there were a lot of people in line, but something nice happened. He said that he could ring up the next person in line, but he motioned with his eyes for me to get to his register, and I did. Maybe he noticed me from earlier? We had a little chat, which he started and it went something like:

Cashier: ''You got your school funds? That must be good news.''
Me: ''We only get them twice a year, so we have to spend it wisely.''

After doing the transaction (something must have resonated, because it took a while to notice that I hadn't done the transaction as credit yet), he handed me the receipt and told me to have a good day.
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Do you think there might have been something going? Also, how does one keep their composure under those types of situations? I wasn't all that nervous, but being in that type of job, he could have just been friendly. Anywho, any thoughts or opinions would be nice. Thanks for any help in advance.

[Sunsetting]

It sounds like you did fine. What's about just returning again to see what the dynamic might be. I must admit, I like your story

[subaru000]

I've got to go there for a few more things, so I hope to see him there again. Thanks for reading the post, sunsetting, and thank you for the advice.

[Sunsetting]

Well depending on how it goes, maybe you should just neglect to get a few things on your list so you'll just HAVE to go back again And, when you walk in there, remember you're a gift

[subaru000]

Aww. I hope to be a gift for a lucky man at some point. My mom might notice that I'm going there kind of often (stupid insurance is too high, so I don't drive), . Because she and the lady there talk every time they are there. Some part of me wished that the chat could last longer because there was something that felt good being there, even for chocolate milk. I could stretch out the purchases to keep going but I should be going there tomorrow, for ketchup and mustard.

[Sunsetting]

Dude, you are a gift on your own, just as you are. And I understand, if ur not out to your mom and want to stay on the DL, just be careful how many times ur over there in a week

[subaru000]

I'm a good gift too. Haven't really noticed anyone in a while, so that is why it's kind of shocking to be honest.

She knows but she's okay with it, kind of neutral, but I'm not going to prevent my happiness or anything because of what anyone thinks. That's not cool. I wouldn't do that to anyone else, so why should it be forced to be someone I'm not? It would only be a once a week kind of thing, but I go there often enough to hopefully see him. We went on an odd day though because she didn't want to work because her throat was hurting. So, we went and that happened.

I hope to see him there tomorrow, and maybe get a name? It wasn't on the receipt...

[Sunsetting]

Haha, bro. Hey I'm psyched and I'm smiling wide right now. Please post whatever happens. You're proceeding well man, and no matter what happens, you took a risk and that's a victory for you!

[subaru000]

I'll post whatever happens. Here's to hoping for good news.

[Sunsetting]

Any healthy risk taken is good news. A friendship forged is even better news.

[subaru000]

I tried to go to the store alone today, but I didn't (because I didn't have my card in my pocket or in my wallet; it was in my mom's purse), so my brother ended up going with me. The lady was out there again, and she was out with another woman who works their, taking a cigarette break. As soon as we walked in the store, he was bagging something for a customer and asked me how was I doing. I waved at him and said hey. Then we went about getting the ketchup and mustard, and my bro wanted some stuff, so he got what he wanted, and then we went to pay. My brother ended up paying, and I think he glanced at me once. We got my mom a Milky Way, which I am assuming he thought would be mine because he kept it there to ''not get smashed.'' He also told me not to forget it after he handed me the bags.

So, after that, he told us to have a good one and I told him to have a good one too. I am pretty sure if I went alone, it would have turned out differently (my mom and brother tend to you know what when it comes to guys I might 'notice') but for now, I feel like a chat would have happened had I had the chance to pay. Wouldn't you know that my mom ended up asking about the lady? I have no idea how she keeps coming up whenever we go there. But at this point, he's still on the 'radar'; I hope to have some chats with him as time progresses. And get some more Tru-Moo and a name as well.

[insidehappy]

from what you have said, it appears that he is just being nice. could there be a dynamic? possibly but i have not heard anything yet that would indicate he is trying to get your number or ask anything personal. these are very hard situations becuas the person could just be being nice cuz its their job to do so. i have had a situation like this as well and i went on a limb but it didnt work out. the best thing you can do is just not put your eggs into this dollar store basket and if you see him just be cool. i dont think there's much here to indicate that there's anythign else going on.

suggestions: you will have to initiate conversation outside of realm of the obvious task:

so next time you're in line ALONE then you can ask him something like,

"how long you been working here?"
"are you in school too?"
"do they let you outta here on teh weekends, you always seem to be working..." hahaha

these types of "openers" are important when trying to feel someone out becuase you have to get the conversation outside the realm of teh service they are providing for you. it is a "signal" to another gay or closeted gay that "hmmm this person seems to be taking interest in my comings and goings". they will either engage you in this type of discussion or keep it work related. this also allow you to slid in a suggestions for hanging out.... by getting it off of work and getting it towards things they may be interested in, you can ask them to hang

for instance,

if you find out they are in college...."hey bro, my schoool having a party next weekend. should be cool. you should definitely check it out. u got fbook? i can send you info thru there." I would only do this is you have built up some level of rapport.

as you can see, these are things yoiu can introduce once you kinda have a better feeling about the person.

[subaru000]

That doesn't seem too hard to do, and I was thinking of what to ask had I been alone, but it didn't work out because I didn't have my card on me. The school question seems most plausible to ask, but I don't want to sound offensive, because a lot of people here work to save money to go. But that is still a good thing to ask, and I'll do so whenever I'm alone.

At this point, it would be nice to have someone to talk to when I go there. And I'll wade the waters too, to at least get to know what school he goes to and other things over time. Just finding someone close to my age here does a lot to make things less tense. I'm just keeping an open mind and hopefully he would be the person to talk to and catch up with when I go there.

[insidehappy]

yea since he already brought up the school thing it is not bad to ask him if he is in school. if he say, no i'm trying to save up, you can always say that's cool what do u want to study? just normal conversation would be cool. another way to strike up conversation is the "guy in distress" approach...."hey man, i recently moved down here do you knwo where a good (fill in the blank) is nearby? (gym, whatever...). he may be able to steer you in the right direction and he may strike up conversation like 'so where are you from" you can take it from there. i think you said you moved there recently or whatever. anyway, i just play it cool and dont go with the hopes of there being anything. its not good to build up a crush like this.

[Luxord]

Keep us posted! although i don't have any good advice, i'm actually really into your story

insidehappy seems to know what he's talking about, but i don't think the whole "i recently moved here" thing would work (unless that is the case). lets say he's been working there for over a year, and you went there but didn't actually talk with him, but he saw you and he remembered that you've been there before, wouldn't it be kinda obvious that it's a lie?

[subaru000]

I'll keep you all updated, but it will about a week before I head there for anything. Thanks for the advice so far everyone.

[insidehappy]

Originally Posted by Luxord

Keep us posted! although i don't have any good advice, i'm actually really into your story

insidehappy seems to know what he's talking about, but i don't think the whole "i recently moved here" thing would work (unless that is the case). lets say he's been working there for over a year, and you went there but didn't actually talk with him, but he saw you and he remembered that you've been there before, wouldn't it be kinda obvious that it's a lie?

i just kinda skimmed a few of the posts but i thought somewhere he mentioned that he moved there. i guess i was wrong. he doesn't have to use teh exact suggestion any openers will do:

1. hey what team were u rooting for on the SUper Bowl? etc.

the point is to just get some off work topic going. a dude that is gay or into you or just straight and friendly will keep it going. a guy that is not into your or that is not gay will answer but will not keep conversation going. just becasue he does keep the conversation up doesn't mean he is gay tho, and that's what i was telling the guy to watch out for because its not good developing crushes like that.

[subaru000]

The first time I saw him was Friday; we usually get everything done early, and we went there around 2pm both Fri. and Sat., so I wouldn't know if he moved there recently or not without asking. Still, all the questions sound good and those will be some things to ask whenever I head there (hopefully alone ), or at least by myself in line.

[Ianthe]

Since your mom knows that you're gay, you could possibly tell her about your interest in the guy; if she's always talking to his coworker, she may be able to get the scoop.

[Luxord]

^^^ True, but then she might spill be bean of him being gay by accident... well unless she went with the "is that guy single" kind of path.. but i think it might be a bit risky. i guess it's still good to know of the his past relationships, but again, small risk factor. (unless of course you don't mind that a couple more people will know). i think im kinda rambling here, so just be careful if your gonna ask someone else to find stuff out about someone else.